On Astral Tides: From Humble Freelancer To Astral Emperor

Side One Hundred And Two – Yukiko, Princess Mikasa

Well, isn’t this awkward. I’m a little sorry I asked to come along. No, this is no time to be timid. My friend, Tsukiko-san, she needs me… Even just knowing her true name, I felt closer to her than ever before. Ever since I was young, as the Diviner, she had visited me, offering friendship and counsel that was difficult for more ordinary people to give, After all, I’m from the Imperial Family. Since the War, we don’t have the prestige we once did, but along with the British Royal Family, when you think Royalty, you think of us…

“Uh, Akio-san, about last night…” I ventured as we entered a small side-room, away from the main Conclave. “Is… is your fiancée all right? I had heard…” No, what am I saying? I’m supposed to be trained in etiquette and appropriate small talk, but I’m making a mess of things! There was something about Akio-san that made me nervous, and not just that he promised to help me turn aside my fate.

“Yes, like I said earlier, she should make a full recovery, though I don’t know how long it’ll take.” He said, and I found myself sighing with relief, a hand to my chest. I had only met Mori-san briefly at Conclave, where she made quite the impression by blowing a crater in the floor, but even so, to have someone I knew, no matter how briefly, brutally wounded in that spiritual world… I can feel my heartbeat speeding up. It somehow makes the dangers seem more real…

“Well, I’m glad to hear that.” I said, once more cursing myself for my inadequate efforts at making conversation. I was feeling particularly tongue-tied today for some reason. “Well, I’m not glad that she’ll take time for recovery, but…”

“It’s all right.” He said, his tone gentle, and I felt my face heating up, which made me feel worse. “I understand. It’s been a tough time for all of us that were Chosen by the Gods. After all, two… no, three are gone, just like that. Yamato-san… he won’t wake, I’m sure. I saw what happened to him.” His words were grim, and there was just something a little off about the way he said it. Though I shouldn’t pry.

“Yes, seeing it happen, even the aftermath, it definitely drives it home how dangerous our situation is.” I said, taking a seat, careful to avoid embarrassing myself further. “The battles I’ve fought at Ise were frightening enough, but really, all I do is sit back and let the power of Amaterasu free, reducing them to ashes. Compared to that, what you must have been through was awful.”

“It wasn’t great.” He admitted. “The frustrating thing is that my Foresight told me there was danger around my friends and family, but not myself. So I was alert, I had guards on everyone I could manage, but somehow Keomi-chan and the trainees still slipped through the net.” His frustration and guilt was plain to see. I turned a little, looking at Tsukiko-san, who had been strangely quiet so far, willing her to speak. But my wishes were in vain as she remained silent, so, somewhat stressed, I filled the silence with soothing words.

“Well, that’s the thing about prophecies, right?” Why aren’t you saying anything, Tsukiko-san? This is your area of expertise! A few kind words might alleviate his guilt… “I mean, just look at mine. Princess of Heaven, the great golden-eyed maw… it’s hard to prepare for such nonsense, right? Not that you need to worry about that? You have your own Princess to look after. She’s very cute. I’m sure… I’ll manage somehow.”

“Actually, I think we are going to have a closer relationship than you think.” He said boldly. I gaped at him, mouth open. I know we’ve discussed the other Princesses, and whether he’s the one from Tsukiko-san’s visions that might be able to change my fate, but even so, that’s bold…

“Don’t worry, I’m not talking about that sort of a relationship. I wouldn’t be so bold.” He said with a touch of laughter, though his eyes were still lacking humour. “No, I found out some interesting things from the Night Parade, Nurarihyon in particular.”

Well, of course. With the girls he has with him, he wouldn’t be interested in me. I’m plain, and I carry too much baggage. After all, I’m a member of the Imperial Family, even if I’m not the heir. It’d draw a lot of problematic attention to him… ugh, why am I even thinking about this? I can feel my cheeks heating up again. Have I learned nothing? I glanced at the still, silent, veiled Tsukiko-san again, remembering when she had said that maybe I would manage to find my heart’s desire. Cursing my friend in my heart, I forced my racing heart to calm down, averting my eyes from Akio-san. “Oh, so what do you mean then?” My voice came out colder than I intended.

“Sorry.” He apologised, thinking I was offended. I opened my mouth to forestall that, feeling stupid, but my words were swallowed by the tale he told next, of Nurarihyon, the strange doll-wife that granted seemingly endless wishes, and the human-faced calf, and the prophecies it had offered.

“So… that doesn’t sound like a coincidence.” I gasped when he was done, admiration on my face. How did he survive such a meeting? Mere luck? Or destiny? I’ve always believed Tsukiko-san, ever since I was a child, but even so… my heartbeat sped up as I connected the dots. “I think… no, it isn’t my place to speak. I’m sorry.”

“If Princess Mikasa, Chosen of Amaterasu, isn’t qualified to speak to one of her subjects, who is?” He said wryly, and I cursed him for saying something so flippant, yet reassuring.

Damn, he’s dangerous. Is this the charm of a man who womanises so casually? Well, I for one will not be fooled by his charm. Our relationship is simply business, the fate of Japan hanging on our cooperation. “Well… I may be an outsider, and my combat experience pales compared to yours. As I said, all I do is burn my foes up, safe from harm…” What am I even saying? I said this already… “… but from listening to your story, can’t you be proud that you saved four lives? You can’t carry everything. They made decisions, good or bad, and well… it sounds like you beat the odds. It was a miracle.”

“But, if I hadn’t trained them then most of them wouldn’t have been there. And I had a premonition. I knew something bad was happening, and I goofed off at a concert with my sister. Sure, I thought I had everyone covered, but…”

“Nine minutes.” I found myself saying. He raised an eyebrow, and I continued. “Remember? You said it yourself. You prepare so that your loved ones are safe, but also so that you can be with them. If… if you are on a constant war footing, always alert, won’t you break? Besides, you say you knew, but it isn’t like you are Tsukiko-san, you only had a vague idea, right? And even if you had made different choices, well, bad things still would have happened. But putting that aside…” I could really use some help here, Tsukiko-san, you are the one who wanted to speak privately, so say something! I’m floundering here!  “… have you never made mistakes before? The perfect being doesn’t exist. Even the Gods make errors. Trust me, I know. I’m the Priestess of Ise, after all. Besides, look at their selections. I… I don’t think I was the right choice either. Someone like Mori-san, she’s brave. If she had my power, then…” seeing the look on his face I knew I’d said something wrong, but I wasn’t sure what.

“Yes, I made mistakes before. Failed projects, endless reworks. But back then, if I made a mistake, it was just money, or setting a project back. It was bad, but now… shit, most of them were kids, still in school. And Mine-san, she died in my arms, still wishing I could save her. I let Shiro get hurt before, and Eri is like her now. Sure I’ve had great victories, but… the cost of defeat isn’t just something I can shoulder. After all… Shiro, Shaeula… the world rests on their shoulders, right? Yours too…” he said, realising it. “Damn, sorry. I shouldn’t be taking it out on you, Princess. You know better than anyone the weight of shouldering the future.”

No, this isn’t how it’s supposed to go. Still… when was the last time I’ve had such an honest conversation, someone treating me as a person, not a Princess? Unafraid to throw my words back at me, or argue? “Damn right I do. You think I want to face the Red and White Dragons, get killed by this golden-eyed devourer? Sometimes I cry myself to sleep at night. I’m no fighter! I’m just a sheltered woman nobody listens too. They only listen to my title, what I carry. That’s why I respect you so much, you and Mori-san, and your sister, and anyone else willing to fight. The trainees too. Even if they didn’t expect battle, they went, and must have known there could be danger!” I was shouting now, red-faced and irritated. Still, it feels good to let loose. As a Princess, I always have to be proper, elegant. But there’s only Akio-san and Tsukiko-san here. And we all understand. After all, we’re all the same! “And if they didn’t, well, that’s still not your fault! I get it must be tragic, and I heard the anger of the families of those left behind. But even if it was your fault, what are you going to do? Lie down and quit? Wallow and let worse things happen? Didn’t you say you’d protect me? And Tsukiko-san, doomed to die? Didn’t you say fate could go to hell? Are you giving up on that?”

“Of course I’m not.” He snapped, and his dull eyes flared to life, and in the grey, with faint, beautiful sparks of orange in one, that I had never noticed before, I could see resolve. “I know I have to get through this. After all… I lost people before. Trolls, white snakes too. It was different then, because I was new to all this, and they were unlikely allies. But I realised they won’t be back either. Shaeula’s spoiled me. Kin Restoration is too heavy a power to possess, it makes losses hurt much more fiercely…”

Kin Restoration? I wanted to ask, but I was happy enough he was opening up to us.

“… still, it’s a tool I’ll never lay down. If I have to crawl across broken glass to reach the end I want, I’ll do it. But shit, I can’t afford to make mistakes like these again. I took Eri to a place she wasn’t suited for, just because I can’t say no to those I love. Well, that ends today. After her rehab, if she wants to be a part of this, she’s going to have to train until she can take out a dozen Kijo at once. Minimum.” His passionate gaze turned to me. “And as for you…”

“Yes?” I squeaked, hating how my voice sounded.

“Well, it seems that Shiro is going to be needed to defeat the shadow that threatens you. I’m not going to force her, but she’s a lonely girl. I doubt she can abandon you. Hopefully the healer from the Night Parade can do something about the damage to her, as currently she’s nowhere near strong enough, even with… well, that doesn’t matter. What does is… we have more information. Don’t we, our silent friend?” He addressed Tsukiko-san.

“Well, I did not wish to interrupt this heartfelt conversation.” I felt she was smiling behind her veil. “It is good to talk, to understand. Foreknowledge is a curse. One that I have long struggled with. It robs you of what it is to be human. Much like this Kin Restoration you speak of, I believe. After all, how much grief and guilt can one shoulder, knowing and being helpless to stop much evil? Better to know nothing, than to be helpless. I should not have told you about my death. Do you now see it cannot be halted? All I have done is cause you pain. I am sorry.” She bowed her head. “I thought I could help you prepare, raise your chances of surviving, Yukiko. Instead, I have burdened you all. Still, I am pleased. A piece of the puzzle unravels with these words from what surely was a legendary Kudan, prophesiser of great calamities. If you can be saved, Yukiko, and save in turn… well, four Princesses have been found. Will you protect them all, until they reach their destiny, Akio?” she said, using no honorifics, as if speaking to someone close, or an equal, and I found myself surprised.

“Destiny? I’m starting to hate that. My Foresight is garbage, I need to get a ton more points in it to match yours. Being human… I’d give up my humanity if it’d stop even one of my loved ones or those I’ve chosen to protect from suffering. After all, I’m already a decent chunk Fae.” His grin was angry, but it had more to it than his gloomy smile previously. “Now, let’s cut to the chase, Matsumuro-san. But first, lose the damn veil. I don’t like not looking in the eyes of the person I’m talking to, when we get serious. I could use my Eye, but that’s discourteous. And I’m about to get serious.”

Yes, I think he is. His hesitation… it’s gone. Did… did my words help? If so… “I admit, I’d like to see your face. After all, it must be hard, not having anyone know what you look like. And isn’t your prophecy of the dangers already activated? So it won’t matter if I see. Please Tsukiko-san, I want to know you better.” I pleaded, and after a moment there was a rusting of cloth, and for a brief second I stood stunned, wishing I hadn’t asked, a gasp leaking from my mouth, while Akio-san only smiled in satisfaction.

Beautiful… ugh, now I feel even frumpier in comparison.

“That’s better. It’s a shame for someone so stunning to hide their face. Besides, it’s dehumanising. The same with not having a name, only a title. I don’t care for the reasons. That ends now.”

The Diviner faltered a little under our gazes, which was adorable. She looked young, a similar age to me, though I knew she was quite a bit older, yet her flawless, pale skin shone, and her slanted crimson eyes were otherworldly, yet looked natural. And worse, she’s … I couldn’t help but look down and compare. Under her shed veil she had a sort of corset-like part atop her upper hakama, but even so, her chest was massive. It seems impossible she hid it under her veil all this time. But her body is slender other than that…

“Yeah, you and Shiro are both weirdly too perfect, if in opposite ways. If I didn’t believe in the Gods before this, seeing you both would make me a convert. Shiro has that woman you see from a distance in a café or train vibe, and know you’ll never see her like again, while you… it’s solemn, almost reverent good looks, as though you were a statue of a Goddess.” Akio-san said, and I agreed with him regarding Tsukiko-san.

“The Gods never give two gifts, they say.” I complained. “But I think that’s not true, looking at you, Tsukiko-san.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call her prophecies gifts. But I think we need them. But if I have to forgive myself for my mistakes, then you need to live as a human, as much as someone bearing your burdens can, Matsumuro-san.”

“Call me Tsukiko. You were the one who looked upon me first, spoke my name. Why worry now?”

“Fine. Tsukiko-san, I still want to save you. We could use your aid, if you are still willing, after all, my ability to use Foresight is pure shit, and even if I do load up more points in it from classes or other means, I doubt I’ll get much better. Unlike you, Tsukiko-san, I’m a novice in using the future. Well, that’ll have to change. Even so, I want your help, not you bearing it all alone.”

Classes. Points? I’ve noticed that before…

“You would take up the burden, despite the pain it has caused you, and seeing the chains that shackled me?” Tsukiko-san asked. “Besides, I have made it plain, I cannot be saved. Though if you wish for my final days to be spent aiding you and my dear friend Yukiko, I have no objections. Tsukuyomi has given me these gifts for a reason, and I hope that reason is to steer Japan and you through the upcoming storm.” Her smile was ageless, yet somehow heart-breaking, making my chest ache.

“Yeah, maybe I can’t turn aside your fate. Destined and definite, right, or cause and effect. Whatever. Just because I can’t doesn’t mean I am going to give up. Besides, even if I fail, then… perhaps there is another way.” He said, pensively, and as everyone was silent, I thought it was a good time to speak up.

“So, Akio-san, you talk about Foresight like it’s something measurable, and points and classes. That sounds like Final Fantasy or Persona.” I asked, and he nodded his agreement, surprising me.

“You play games, Princess?” he asked, surprised.

Princess? Yet he calls Tsukiko-san by her name. Annoying. Earlier he was treating me like anyone else, so why now… Not noticing I had puffed my cheeks out in annoyance, I answered. “Why wouldn’t I? I may be born to the Imperial family, but I’m just like anyone else. I get bored, I read, watch TV, listen to music, and I like role-playing games. To be honest, if I didn’t have that experience, I might have shattered when I was first given this power by Amaterasu. Even so, it was tough. It’s one thing knowing you were Chosen, and another living with it. Now… Princess? I have a name. And I know you know it, as Tsukiko-san says it enough.”

“Fine.” He scratched his cheek awkwardly. “Well, nothing wrong with being a gaming princess. Shaeula is big into games. And lots of women enjoy RPG’s, nothing bad about that, Yukiko-san. You have it better than a lot of the noble daughters.”

I felt a thrill as he said my name, as though I was on equal footing with Tsukiko-san.

“Well, yeah, I can measure numerical values of things with my Eye.” He tapped his cheek. “I’m not the only one, Saionji-san has a Chosen who can do it, now he knows what to look for, and I guess there are certainly others worldwide. It’s a tool for growing stronger. After all, if you can see improvements, then progress is easier. But then…” he paused meaningfully, and I found myself leaning closer. “… this is related to what I wanted to do next.” He turned to Tsukiko-san. “I want to save you from your fate. You’re owed that, I think, for carrying a burden that has robbed you of your youth and humanity. If the Gods can only help us by stealing from us, then we don’t need them. Whether I can or not… I’m no longer arrogant, foolish enough to say I will save you but I’m still going to say I’ll do everything I can to save you. So, will you come with me to the Boundary? Although I have to make a couple of calls first.”

“… I am the Princess of Heaven.” I said, owning it for the first time. Seeing the face of my friend gave me courage. Besides, now we know what I face in greater detail. A creature over the sea, Red Dragon, red ants in endless numbers… and I know… whether Akio-san is the one that Tsukiko-san saw, it doesn’t matter. What matters is he’s the one here now, offering us a hand. And if this Shiro girl is one destined to save me, who will I save? “I believe that whether I live or die, I won‘t do it cowering. I too want you to make up for what you’ve missed in life, Tsukiko-san. And I don’t want you to die before you find your own dream, and… see mine come true.”

“Very well. I shall at least listen. After all, we are all tossed in the stormy seas of fate, toys of the Gods, good intentions or not.” Tsukiko-san agreed, her smile calming. “As for saving me… I will be satisfied simply knowing there were people who cared enough to try. That leaves me at peace.”

Akio-san’s face twisted at that. “Well, I’ll try, but… don’t write me off yet. I am the one who spoke to Nurarihyon and lived to tell the tale. This can’t be any worse…”

********

We were outside the Imperial Palace in the Boundary, as Akio-san called the realm of the spiritual. The Palace had felt cloying, oppressive, but whatever dwelt within had let us leave without a confrontation. Now we were outside, and accompanied by two new people from Akio-san’s group. Though calling them people is odd…

“So, I’ll take this now.” Akio-san said, retrieving a large sack from the giant, stony figure. “I’m going to do a bit of crafting.”

“Grul is happy to give it up. It was a pain during the battle.” He gurgled. “Grul did as asked and retrieved the little man. He struggled a bit, saying he had orders to Anchor the area, but Grul ignored him. There is no point, anyway.” His laughter was grinding and bitter. “What he is bordering is gone.”

“Yeah, good job. I’ll talk to him later. You go back and make sure everyone is guarded. I know the Major turned up with some troops, but… well, the situation is tense.”

After some more talk, the troll departed, leaving the second guest. That’s his secretary, Suzuki-san, right? The girl who supposedly was murdered.

“So, what did you need me for, Akio-san?” She asked, and here I noticed that she was ethereal and transparent, ghostly. On seeing my look, she actually giggled.

“It’s quite an honour to meet you Princess. I am Suzuki Haru, secretary to Akio-san here, as well as his Chosen Hero and Vassal. Normally a commoner like me would never be able to speak to royalty, but as I’m dead, please try not to mind it.” She smiled charmingly.

“For someone that’s dead you seem awfully lively.” I observed, a little taken aback.

“Lively, huh? Quite a choice of words there. But well, Akio-san gave me a second chance. So, what was it you needed?” she asked again, and Akio-san, who was rummaging through the sack, pulling out shining red, yellow and green gems, as well as a lot of giant, dark feathers, answered.

“I wanted you to talk to the Diviner here about your life in the Material. Because if she’s so sure that nobody can save her life… I wanted her to at least have a second chance in death.”

“In death? Are you some sort of necromancer?” Tsukiko-san asked, curious.

“Far from it, but… hmm, okay, sorry to be a bit rude here, ladies, but I’m going to take your measurements.” His eye burned orange.

“If I tell Eri-san and Shaeula that you’ve been peeking on girls again, what will they say?” Haru-san shook her head.

My measurements, peeking? Hey wait, he could see through Tsukiko-san’s veil. Suddenly embarrassed I covered my chest with my arms.

“I promise I’m not being rude.” He said, and a swirl of rainbow light formed around him. “It’s just I want this armour to fit. I notice you both aren’t using any gear. This I can work with to improve your prospects. Every little improvement helps your chances of survival.”

“I see. I get it.” Suzuki-san said suddenly. “Kin Bonding, huh? Will… will that work? If you aren’t close enough to the trainees for it to work on them, then…” she made an oops look then. “… sorry, I know you are still beating yourself up over it, Akio-san.”

“I know. But I can’t stay down forever. Besides, Yukiko-san here was right. I may have made some mistakes, but I did what I could, and that doesn’t make it all my fault, no matter what I think. I guess my Resilience isn’t just for show. It still hurts, but the feeling is fading. Now I need to focus on making sure that Tsukiko-san and Yukiko-san have the best chance to survive as possible. We’ve lost too many already. If I waste time dwelling on the dead, more will join them.”

He's thinking about me, too. I’m the third. Maybe… he really is…

“I’m glad to hear that. Eri-san, Shaeula and Hyacinth were really down too. They’ve been desperately calling the others to ask their advice. Just… well, you’ll see later.” Suzuki-san shrugged. “Just go with it and act surprised, okay?”

“I will. Damn, they are too good for me, worried about me, despite Eri being so hurt. Shit, and I’m going to upset them even more…” he muttered. We watched him work, and quickly the feathers were crafted into a dress and cloak, in a dark black, with other, massive whole feathers around the collar, the hem and other key places. Shards of what looked like a broken sword was turned into threads of metal, as were some other materials from the sack, and soon two outfits were done.

“Not bad. I got a Rank up in crafting for this one.” He said proudly. “You two, go try them on. Haru-san, help them. I won’t peek, I promise.

I couldn’t restrain my curiosity. I was used to having a large wardrobe, but of course this was quite different. Exchanging a look we went round the corner, where Tsukiko-san and I examined the clothing.

“What are these?”

“Armour of course. Though I doubt it’s so simple. In our Territory, we have dwarves and ratkin who create lots of weapons and armour to improve our forces. His sister Aiko-san, and Eri-san, he made them both gear too. You should be flattered.” She smiled. “Though to be honest, if he wants to peek, hiding here won’t stop his sight.” She mocked us genially.

“You think he will?” I asked, face heating up, and she shook her head, laughing.

“No, I’m just teasing.” Her expression shifted to a blank mask for a moment. “Akio-san isn’t a bad man, though he is a weak one, in some regards. I’m here, so he would never be so crass, knowing… well, I don’t want to think about it. Not now, not again.” She shook her head. “Even so, he can be a little cruel. I know why he asked me here. Anyway, I can see you struggling.” She sighed, looking at Tsukiko-san. “Seriously, can’t you even put on a dress?”

“Well, I normally only wear my hakama.” She replied, a normal complaint that sounded so unlike her normal self. I’m learning so many new things about Tsukiko-san. It’s great. “Hey, this is pretty comfortable.” I said with mixed feelings as I adjusted the ties and clasps of the dress. “It fits perfectly. Having a man know my three sizes… it isn’t a good feeling.” Especially since I’m not glamourous like Tsukiko-san, or cute like Suzuki-san here.

“Well if it’s armour, it has to be. There. All done. You look… divine? Yeah, divine. You look nice too, Princess.” Suzuki-san said, finishing dressing Tsukiko-san.

Sure I do. “Anyway, what did Akio-san mean earlier? Second chance in death?”

“It’s obvious to me. I’ve been with Akio-san and the others long enough now. He wants to bond the Diviner as Kin. That way, even if she dies, he can use Restoration. It’s not perfect, after all, dead is dead. But I’ve spoken to plenty of weaselkin and Kamaitachi who went through it. It’s still you when you wake up. You’d be a spiritual being, like me, I guess, but… well, that’s what Thrones are for.” She giggled. “Although the next upgrade is backbreaking. I hope you’re worth it, Diviner.”

“Hey, don’t be rude!” I protested, but Tsukiko-san held up a hand, forestalling me.

“Tell me more of this?” she asked, and I listened intently, shocked at what was revealed. Really, just who is Akio-san? I know my Divine Favour from Amaterasu is bold and powerful, but… to bring back the dead? That’s the realm of the impossible!

********

“Looking good, ladies!” he clapped his hands as we returned, and I felt oddly self-conscious. Akio-san was now in a similar outfit, though not a dress, obviously, and several more were lying around him. “I wish I had more feathers, they are great material. But the basic work is done. Apparently there are a ton of nests on the outskirts. Maybe I can make a deal with them. I’d feel guilty to just kill them off unless they attack first. Oh well…”

“Enough about that!” I said, wanting to get to the main point. “Kin Restoration! Can it really save Tsukiko-san?”

His expression was… complicated. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. “Here’s the thing. In theory, yes. In time, I could restore Tsukiko-san, and she could live in my Territory. And while it’d take a ton of resources for a Throne at Rank 3, it’s something I want eventually anyway. After that she’d be like Haru-san, able to walk the world again.”

I don’t quite get what he means by Rank 3, but if it’s similar to what I can do at Ise Grand Shrine… I think I get it. “Well, if it’s resources you need, can’t we help?”

“I appreciate it, but I think my Territory is probably producing way more than yours.” He said, proud. “We have had a lot of battles and lucky breaks. Besides… well, that’s not the issue. I thought it would be able to save Eri in the worst-case, but I discovered that the soul-lights people leave behind in death can be taken or destroyed. So depending on just what we are up against… it’s no guarantee. But it is hope. Of course, I’d rather prevent your death in the first place, Tsukiko-san.” He said to the silent woman. “That’s why Haru-san is here.”

“I’m going to set up a Territory here in Kyoto, since you won’t leave.” She said. “Then Akio-san will get into debt with a bigshot of the Seelie Court to link the two places, so we can reinforce in an emergency, or worst case, you can run to us. Be thankful he has connections via Shaeula. Princesses sure are great, right?”

“Are you teasing me?” I demanded, feeling relief at the thought Akio-san was putting into protecting Tsukiko-san. Wait, aren’t I forgetting I’m in danger too? No, Tsukiko-san said she would die first… and while I barely know Akio-san, I can tell he regrets what has happened so far, and he won’t forsake me. It feels… comforting. For the first time in a while, I feel a little hopeful…

“Just a little.” Haru-san said. “There’s another problem though, isn’t there?”

“Yes, you mentioned that. Just what is kin?” I said, remembering our recent conversation. “Akio-san, can you explain it?”

“Yeah. Here’s the rub. I tried desperately to see the dying trainees as Kin. I couldn’t do it, as I’m not Shaeula, who thinks differently to me. She sees all her weaselkin as Kin almost instantly, even those that betrayed her.” His expression was cold, and I knew there was a story behind that. “For me… it’s family, very deep friends, or… well, those I love and am connected with.” He sighed.

“So, what does that mean?” I pressed.

“It means… uh… well, I guess… Tsukiko-san, we should get married.”

“Wait, what?” I howled, not believing what I was hearing. “Are you insane, Akio-san? You can’t just propose to Tsukiko-san, you hardly know each other! Besides, you already…” I was spluttering in shock.

“He’s so doomed. Shaeula will love this, but he promised Eri-san and the others he’d not have any more wives after Shiro. Not that they believed him.” Suzuki-san giggled. “His promises on the subject aren’t very persuasive. But…” her smile turned serious. “… he isn’t doing it for that. I know. Not in front of me. He knows… I hate men who treat women as their playthings.”

“That’s right. It’d be the quickest way to being Kin. I can’t just will it to work, much as I wanted to. If I could, Mine-san… she died in my arms, poor girl. I forced myself to believe it, but nothing happened. It has to be my whole being that accepts it, just as Shaeula wholly accepts her weaselkin. So… if we were married, well, of course we’d be Kin, right? That’s what marriage is all about.” He frowned, embarrassed. “Look. I’d never touch you, all right? And when the crisis was over, we can break off the engagement, no problem. Other people wouldn’t even have to know. Hopefully you’ll survive what’s coming. But if not… well, in time you can return.”

“But…” I protested. “Even by your logic that wouldn’t work. If it’s just a fake marriage of convenience, how will that convince you?” I looked at the silent Tsukiko-san. “Say something! This is stupid. I mean, I don’t object to anything if it can save you! But… this is dumb!”

“Yukiko is right.” She replied, and the expression she was making, that nobody but us had ever seen, amused and somehow also resigned, made my heart ache. “If the definite was that easy to cheat, we would not struggle so with the future. I do believe such an arrangement would fail. Tell me, when did you consider your others as Kin? Was it not when you truly realised you loved them? A fake dream with me will achieve nothing. I will die, and vanish. Though before that I have a task I must perform.”

“Shit, you’re right. I’m feeling impatient. Sorry.” He sighed, and I felt suddenly sorry for him, despite his shocking request. He does care. And not just for the Diviner and her powers. For the woman beneath, Tsukiko.

“Look, there is… one other way. I know it’d work. But even saying it, I hate myself. Look.” He sighed, and I held my breath waiting for his proposal. “You’ve carried the weight of being denied your humanity long enough. You’ve given up everything before any of us even knew being Candidates existed, for decades.” His words resonated with me, and I felt my eyes misting as I thought of having no name, no face, no life except trying to avert numerous tragedies, heart cut apart by failures.

“I know of four Princesses, thanks to you, and while I don’t know if I’m the one you saw, I’m the one you have. And even if he came I don’t think I can step aside. Shiro and Shaeula are for me to protect. If this guy exists, he’s more than welcome to help, I won’t let my pride put them in danger, but even so, they are truly Kin to me. I’ll protect you as well, Yukiko-san, and even Princess Eleanor, though I have no idea how I’ll pull that off. Red Dragon or White, Ants or Golden-eyed Devourers, I’ll put them down if they threaten us. I won’t lie and say I can achieve everything perfectly. I’ve already failed at that, and I don’t need your powers to see I’ll fail again in future.” His expression was pained, but resolute. “So I want you to lay down your burden for a while and enjoy what you’ve earned. If the world and the Gods can’t even allow that, does it even deserve to survive? Let me pick it up for a bit. I said I’d become a demon to save those I care about. I’ll carry it forwards. So…”

What he said next shocked me. I went red, looking away, and Suzuki-san shuddered, though more at her memories than at Akio-san, it seemed.

“I see.” Tsukiko-san said. “You would ask me for that? Bold indeed. Blasphemous too.” Her own smile was wry, troubled. “Let me ask you… is it only to save me, or do you desire me?”

“I’m a liar if I said I look at you and don’t think of that. You’re stunning, and well, I hate that you’ve not had any life experience other than being the Diviner. I’m not some pure hero, I have my flaws. Even so… tell me another way. I’ll take it. What can I do to prove to you I want to help you?”

He said it, he meant it! That’s crazy, but… if… if Tsukiko could be saved…

“I … still struggle to understand. You know the pain of the future, of knowing and failing. You would take up the burden, release me?”

“Release you? I’d like to. But that’s arrogant. If you truly want to continue this path, then do so. But let others, such as me, help you. And no longer hide your face, your name. Be Matsumuro Tsukiko, not the Lady Diviner. Then take the time to have fun, find love, be happy. What’s the point of protecting a world that has nothing for you in it? I’m sure Yukiko-san wants that for you too.”

“I do! I definitely do!” I shouted, still stunned. “I… I don’t think… no, if you can survive that way, no, damn what are you making me say?” I was so hot I could almost feel steam boiling from my crimson skin. “I want Tsukiko-san to be free too. But that’s something every girl should treasure… I mean, you’re not terrible, but we barely know you.”

“We?” Suzuki-san said mildly, and my skin darkened even further, nearly purple.

“You know what I mean! Akio-san, I appreciate your preparations, and I think it’s a good fallback, but…” I was silenced as Tsukiko-san held up a hand.

“Akio.” She said, her voice calm. “I will ask one final time. My weight… it is something that only the strongest can bear. You have had a small taste of the suffering that awaits, and it wounded your heart. Can you taste the same, ten, a hundred times more painful?”

“I don’t want to suffer. But if I look back and hear you are gone, and I could have prevented it… then that’ll certainly hurt me, whereas the future, despite what you say, it’s not set in stone. I’ll take possible future pain over definite future pain.”

“In that case…” she sighed, a long exhalation, as though she was releasing her fears. “I am a boring woman. And yet … well, you say that if we share something intimate, something I can only give once, your heart will see me as Kin, and even if the definite future claims my life, that may not be the end?” she closed the distance between herself and Akio-san, in her new armour, feathers vibrating softly.

“Yes. I’m certain it’ll work. I know my own heart.” He said quietly, a touch of shame on his face. “Sorry. If I had power like Nurarihyon, perhaps I could see a better way…” she reached out her hands, clasping his cheeks.

No way, no way! Is Tsukiko-san going to… but… she…

“In that case… yes, I am weary. It would be delightful to have someone to share the weight of the future with me…” she admitted, her lips closing in until her breath was hot on his face. “However, I have a different idea. I have no wish to make you a liar. Besides…” she leaned in.

She’s going to kiss him! Oh my god, she’s… huh? The expected contact didn’t happen, as her head was pressed against his ear, whispering something I couldn’t hear, even with my excellent senses. Akio-san’s eyes went wide, and he nodded. As Tsukiko-san pulled back, a satisfied smile on her face, hands still holding Akio-san’s face, a brilliant halo surrounded her, and she groaned, her face twisting in pain.

“Here. I give… you… what I can only give once. Now, even if… the one who holds light, darkness and twilight comes… you’ve stolen what should be his! Perhaps it is not what you wanted from me, but…”

“No.” his grey eyes were compassionate, despite the pain that was on his features too. “I’m not such a bastard. Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure any man would be delighted to have a beauty like you. And teaching you all the pleasures you’ve missed out on, all the fun the world has to offer…” he groaned, sweat glittering silver on his body, the glow around the two of them blinding. “… well, I’ll settle for just lessening your burden. So I’ll take this. And use it to protect you, Yukiko-san, and all the others. Thank you.” He said, and I could barely see it, but it looked as if Tsukiko-san was happy, her face pink.

“No, thank you. I still have little hope. But… the fact that you and Yukiko treat me not as the Diviner, but as simply Tsukiko… well, in the end I am happy, and I have fulfilled the task Tsukuyomi left for me. Now I can have no regrets. Because you will protect Yukiko, will you not?”

“Of course.” He said, and I felt a rush of happiness. “And if you have no regrets, your duty done… then live for yourself. If you still want to face the future, then fine. Do so. But not alone. After all…” his smile was wicked, charming. “… I’ve certainly taken your first time, right?”

“More than one.” She laughed, and I turned away, unable to look any further, happy tears streaking my face. I met the eyes of Suzuki-san, who shrugged.

“Yes, Shaeula is going to be overjoyed… even if nothing lewd happened, this is still definitely cheating!”

Nothing lewd? The glow was starting to fade, and Tsukiko-san fell, to be caught by Akio-san. She was panting, her chest heaving under her black armour, sweat running down her face. It sure looks lewd to me. Even so… something had happened, something monumental. Something even Tsukiko-san, no, The Diviner hadn’t planned for. That means… There was hope. Just a little, but hope was there for the taking, the future uncertain…