Chapter 391: : Change
Chapter 391: : Change
"Do you want to make Prince Fraser feel the pain you have suffered? Do you want him to suffer like you did?"
I nod my head. Although deep in my heart, I want to say no. I wasn't the revenge type of person. I would fight back in arguments, but I wouldn't stoop so low to revenge on anyone. But this is not about me. This is about the real Csille's feelings, and right now, all she wants to do is get her revenge. To return all the pain and suffering, she felt because of Prince Fraser. Mister Sewell's stares become intense. From being serious, I can see the hint of anger in his
eyes.
I know that! Even if he never shows to anyone, including his family, that he hates the Astalieus. Deep inside his heart, he hates them. In fact, he was the one who hated the royal family the most.
"Prince Fraser is a selfish man who only cares about himself, Csille. He doesn't care about you a bit. In his eyes, you are just a nuisance. A person that he likes to get rid of. As if you are some sort of a leech who sucks upon him. He just used you so he could have the benefits of being engaged with you, but now that you don't have usefulness for him, he wants to get rid of you?" He laughs sarcastically. "So, why would you let him get away that easy? He is an evil man, Csille. And do you know what you should do with an evil person?"
Used me? Isn't he similar to Prince Fraser? Prince Fraser takes advantage of the feelings I have for him. While he, on the other hand, used my brokenness so I could ally with them. The two of them are all the same.
And he even has the guts to call Prince Fraser an evil person? It's as if he isn't one?
I realized just now how toxic my character is. The only non-toxic characters here are probably Princess Paislee and Prince Rufus.
I heave a sigh. "But if I do that, I'm sure I'm not the only one who will end up dying. Even my whole family is. After all, harming a royal is a grave crime in the Vrawyth Kingdom."
Mister Sewell frowns. "So, you're just going to let him ruin your life like that? He not only broke your heart and tainted your reputation, but he also took your chance of living a comfortable life."
I can feel something bubbling inside me, and I can feel that somehow I got enraged with Prince Fraser.
I grit my teeth. "How can I let him enjoy his life while I am suffering?"
I'm pretty sure the words that come out of my mouth just now are not from my thoughts. I'm sure those words are from the real Csille, and the anger I felt just now is from her too.n/o/vel/b//in dot c//om
I feel a hand caress my head. "That is right, Csille. Return all the pain he has given to you. If he ruined you. Then you should ruin him too. If you couldn't live the life you want to, then do that to him too."
Then I felt something explode in me, and I could feel my whole body shaking in too much anger. "That is right! I will make his life a living hell too. That is what he gets from ruining my life. Does he think that because he is a Prince, I will let him go that easily? I hate him, and if I cannot have him. I will not let anyone will."
"That is right, Csille. Make Prince Fraser's life a living hell. If you need some help, I am just here for you. I will help you in anything you need because only I can understand you."
I looked at Mister Sewell, and a smirk was shown on my face. "I will. I will make his life a living hell," I whispered to myself.
Every word that came up from my mouth was not my thoughts. They were from the real Csille.
Even if she couldn't control her own body from me, she still somehow managed to control my emotions and my thoughts. That's why I manage to say those awful words.
I feel Mister Sewell caress my head as if saying I was a good child just now.
And just like it. My villainess path had started. Starting today, I am no longer the good Csille Lauretré the people have known.
From being the angel of the Vrawyth Kingdom, I will become their greatest nightmare. I will become the greatest traitor of the Vrawyth Kingdom.
I spend a couple of hours in Mister Sewell's cabin ranting on him. I even said nonsense revenge plan that he immediately turned down.
It was actually not my plan. Rather it was real Csille's plan. Although I have full control of my body, I can't control the words that are coming from my mouth.
In the end, Csille had officially allied with Mister Sewell. Although they hadn't made any concrete plan, we talked for hours. It was already late when I realized how much time I had spent there.
I immediately asked Mister Sewell if he could send me home, which he gladly said yes. And now I am facing my angry parents and Brother Pascal with an anxious Butler at the side. Mother immediately stands up when she sees me. "My dear, where have you been? We heard from the Butler that you visited the Great Ruler today, but you suddenly went missing after. Where did you go?"
I look at him coldly and frown. "Do I need to always tell you where I will go? I am not a kid anymore, so please give me a life." I rolled my eyes and was planning to walk past them, but Father suddenly snapped at me.
I don't want to be rude to them, but I don't have a choice. Csille is the villainess now. It means I need to return to Csille's old self. The selfish and mean person who only cares about herself.
"How dare you talk to your mother like that! Apologize to her now!"
I look back at them and take a deep sigh. "I'm sorry. Is that enough? I want to rest already.
Can't you see how exhausted I look right now? Give me a break!"
Father glares at me angrily. "Csille! How dare you disrespect us like that! Is this how we raised you? To be a disrespectful lady?"
I clench my fist. Every word that is coming to my mouth also hurts me. I don't want to be rude to them, but I don't have any choice.
I'm sorry, Mother and Father.
I scoff. "And how dare you treat me like a puppet! I have my own feelings too! You can not just order me what I want to do or where I want to go. I am already nineteen years old. Old enough to decide on my own. So stop deciding for me. Starting right now, I will decide on my own." I look at them before I rush towards my room.
I heard Father call my name, but I pretended I didn't hear anything. I also locked myself in my room so they wouldn't bug me.
I don't want to talk to them, not because I am mad at them. More like I am mad at myself for hurting them again, and I don't want to see the pain in their eyes.
I take a deep breath and look at the ceiling of my room. I don't want to be disrespectful to my parents, but this is what should happen, and I need to follow the script if I still want to keep
everyone safe.
I just close my eyes and force myself to sleep. Although it was a difficult thing to do because I could still hear my parents calling my name or banging on my door.
The following morning, I woke up with a heavy heart. Probably because I know how I disappointed my parents last night.
I look at myself in the mirror and smile bitterly at myself. "Csille, it is not Prince Fraser who ruined your life. It was you who ruined it. If you only didn't have feelings for Prince Fraser, then we don't need to face this situation. You're a selfish person too, just like Prince Fraser." I whispered to the reflection in the mirror.
I shake my head and freshen myself up. I still have other things to do today. Mister Sewell and
I decided to meet today to talk about the plan he mentioned yesterday.
I take a deep breath before I get out of my room. I was startled to see my parents and Brother Pascal sitting in the receiving area. It seemed like they were waiting for me.
I pretended that I was annoyed to see them, although I could feel my heart breaking when I saw the pain in their eyes.
I am not just ruining my own life. I am also ruining this beautiful family that I have been longing for for so long.
Father stands up and glares at me. "You still have the guts to look annoyed after what you did last night? Why are you becoming like this, Csille?"
I laugh sarcastically and stare at him. "Because you don't want me to live the life I want to. You always prohibit me from going out and want me to rot here. And if you will allow me, you will make sure to have someone follow where I go. Am I a prisoner here? Why can't I go out?"
Mother walks toward me to give me a slap on my cheeks. I felt a stinging pain in my cheeks, but I didn't care. I know I deserve it for everything I have said, and I don't blame Mother for
doing that.
I look at Mother with a bitter smile on my face. Mother tries to reach her arms towards me, but I immediately take a step back away from her.
"Csille... I... I'm sorry, Mother didn't mean to hurt you. I..."
I look at her and make sure she sees the pain in my eyes. I shake my head. "And now you are
hurting me to force me to follow what you want?"
I stare at them before I take a leave. I heard Mother try to stop me, but I pretended that I
didn't care.
I need to pretend that I don't care because I have written this. I have written how Csille will
turn cold to her parents.
The coachman looks back at me. "Miss? Where do you want to go?"
"To the nearest pastry shop."
Mister Sewell and I agreed to meet at the pastry shop near our house. Scratch that. Not really
meet. More like his coachman will fetch me there because no one should see us together or else our plan will be ruined.
I look outside the window when our carriage starts moving. I smile bitterly at myself and
force myself not to cry.
Even if I acted like I didn't care, it doesn't mean that I really don't. I just don't have a choice but to do it but deep inside, I am in pain.
I look up. Why do I need to sacrifice my everything just to save everyone?
I get off the carriage and walk straight inside the pastry shop. I got too early here, so I was
planning to order some pudding first.
I sit beside the window so I can immediately see if the carriage of Mister Sewell arrives.
I look at the pudding on my table and smile bitterly when I remember someone. Someone
who is fond of pudding, just like how I am fond of prinsesstårta.
Rufus...
Pudding is his favorite dessert. It's just too bad he isn't here to enjoy this pudding with me.
I take a bite of my pudding and close my eyes. Pretending Rufus is here with me talking
nonsense things.
I smile sadly when I remember the times when we would spend our weekend eating in the
pastry shops in town. If we're not busy eating, we will stroll around the capital.
However, I froze when someone suddenly spoke behind me.
"You are here..."