Transdimensional Marketing

Chapter 268: New Year Present Prepared

Translator: Exodus Tales Editor: Exodus Tales

Chapter 268 – New Year Present Prepared

After getting three murder weapons in a row, Chen Yu started to think that the mass murder of marine life he conducted when he deployed the Earth Spray must’ve tainted him with evil spirits. Hence, he decided to wash his hands again.

After entering the bathroom, he washed his hands with soap, brushed his teeth, and rubbed some washing powder on his clothes. He then returned to his bedroom and continued browsing the fourth product.

[4. Cheering Stick: Produced by the Romantic House Association in 2563. The Cheering Stick has 35 built-in high-precision sensors and 22 miniature dischargers. It can detect and adjust the synaptic potential of the pyramidal neurons’ apical dendrites, brain wave synchronization rhythm formation, thalamocortical’s non-specific projection, and other brain-related activities in a human female to calm their irritable and aggressive moods, making them docile instantly. The selling price is 1,430 points.]

“Finally! Something normal!”

Rubbing his palms together, Chen Yu re-read the introduction several times before suppressing his urge to purchase the item directly. He then swiped to check the final recommended product.

[5. Miniature Antimatter Destruction Generator: Produced by the “Die from Addiction” Company in 2980...]

“Huh?”

Chen Yu’s spirits sharpened as soon as he saw the product’s name. “My New Year present is here...”

After reading the product’s introduction, he pondered for a long time before he decided to purchase two of the five recommended products.

Over 3,800 points disappeared in the blink of an eye.

“Isn’t that a little too quick? I’m already poor again.”

After ordering Little Peach to store away the two delivery boxes that had just arrived, Chen Yu laid on his bed and used his phone to search for any news related to him. When he felt hungry, he took two eggs, two potatoes, and one stalk of green onion from the kitchen. He then used the Automatic Cooking Pot to cook up some crispy ribs in his room and gorged himself with them.

“I dare say that this pot is humanity’s greatest invention!” Chen Yu said after cleaning off the last rib.

“How does it feel to eat?”

“It feels very satisfactory.” Picking up a leftover bone, Chen Yu handed it to Little Peach and said, “Why don’t you try it too?”

Little Peach: “...”

“What a shame.” Tossing the bone away, Chen Yu shrugged and said, “Eating delicious food is a type of enjoyment.”

“I can’t digest solid food.” Little Peach licked her lips as she stared at the bone. “I can only digest liquids.”

“Does that mean you have a stomach?”

“Mhm.”

“Why can you only digest liquids?”

“I don’t know either.”

One man and one machine looked at each other, both of them at a loss...

...

Five o’clock in the afternoon.

The sky had already begun to darken.

“We’re back!

The security door opened, and Chen Yike, Erke, and Sanke entered the house.

Upon spotting Chen Yu in the living room, Chen Sanke dashed at him without even removing her shoes. She then hugged Chen Yu’s right leg and said, “Big Brother, I missed you!”

“Brother! I missed you too!” Unwilling to show weakness, Chen Erke hugged Chen Yu’s left leg.

“Second Eldest!” Mother Chen, who sat on the sofa, yelled. “No shoes in the house!”

“Third Eldest didn’t remove hers, either!” Chen Erke retorted, unwilling to submit.

“She’s still young and doesn’t know better.”

“She’s only three years younger than I am!”

Blinking her eyes, Chen Sanke said, “Even if it’s only by three months, I am still younger.”

“Heh.” Unwillingly parting from Chen Yu’s left leg, Chen Erke returned to the entrance and took off her shoes. “You’ll be older than me in two more years.”

“How can that be possible? Are you stupid?” Hugging Chen Yu’s leg tightly, Chen Sanke pouted and said, “It will take at least three years!”

“...” After a moment of silence, Chen Yu reached out and patted Chen Sanke’s head. “You two are fools. Do you even know how to count? It’ll take at least four years, right?”

“You’re the fool!” Chen Yike, who stood by a side with her backpack slung over her back, retorted.

“Do you think the three of us combined aren’t as smart as you?” Chen Yu sneered.

“That’s right.” x2

“Let’s not talk about this anymore.” Picking up Chen Sanke, Chen Yu smiled and asked, “Did you have fun at class today?”

“Not fun. Big Sis is awful at playing the piano.”

“Third Eldest!” Chen Yike’s face flushed red with embarrassment.

“You just started learning, so it’s understandable,” Chen Yu said as he generously waved his hand. “However, it is still a piano. How bad at it can you possibly be? I’ll buy you a piano after the New Year.”

“Brother~” Chen Yike was moved.

“Big Brother.” Staring at Chen Yu expressionlessly, Chen Sanke said, “You’ll regret it.”

“I have never regretted my actions.”

“Big Brother, I love you”! Chen Yike immediately hugged Chen Yu and rubbed her face against him.

“Hah.” Looking at her three daughters’ behavior, Mother Chen grinned and said, “Aren’t you three ashamed at behaving so affectionately?”

Chen Yike: “I don’t feel ashamed.”

Chen Erke: “Why should I feel ashamed?”

Chen Sanke: “What does ‘ashamed’ mean?”

With the return of the three sisters, the quiet atmosphere inside the Chen household instantly livened up. Chen Erke, in particular, ceaselessly cried and yelled while playing with her phone. Fed up with the noise, Chen Yu returned to his room, sat in a corner, and swiped away at his phone.

“Mr. Chen, I’ve already uploaded the livestream’s edited version and set it to release at nine o’clock tomorrow.”

“Mhm. You don’t need to tell me about such trivial matters from now on. Just deal with it yourself.”

“Okay.”

Suddenly giving Little Peach a thumbs up, Chen Yu said, “Your Mandarin is getting up to standard.”

“That’s of course!” Little Peach patted her chest proudly, accidentally knocking a packaging bag out from her chest in the process.

“What’s this?” Picking up the packaging bag suspiciously, Chen Yu carefully inspected it before asking, “W-Why do you have it pinched between your breasts?”

“It’s a present from that Crazed Awakening person. He says he’s a fan. I didn’t have any pockets on me, so I just kept it there.”

“Smart! Smart!” Chen Yu admired.

“I don’t know what it is, though. He says it can be eaten,” Little Peach said as she opened the bag. She then pulled out a black and red object and took a close look at it. “Is it dried human excretion?”

“That’s called a betel nut!” Chen Yu retorted, holding his head. “Why would you even make such a strange association?!”

“But they look alike!”

Snatching the betel nut from Little Peach, Chen Yu put it in his mouth and started chewing on it. “This thing is called a betel nut. It’s a kind of snack. I heard that it shouldn’t be eaten since it causes cancer.”

“Why are you eating it, then?” Little Peach asked in surprise.

“Drinking alcohol harms the liver, so why do people still drink it? Smoking causes lung cancer as well, so why do people still smoke?” Laying down on his bed, Chen Yu opened his mouth and revealed the betel nut scraps on his tongue. “Because this is what being a human means. It’s not fun if you don’t take some risks. Jealous?”

“I-I want to try eating one as well.”

“Go ahead, but you can’t swallow this thing.”

“Okay.” Little Peach nodded. She then pulled out another betel nut from the bag, tossed it into her mouth, and started chewing. Sparks flew out of her mouth with every bite she took.

“Big Sis, can’t you produce some saliva?”

“Oh! Wow! It softened! It went from hard to soft! I also managed to squeeze a lot of juice out of it!” Little Peach exclaimed in surprise. She then stuck out her soft tongue and pointed at the betel nut scraps, saying, “It becomes red after I chew it up!”

“...” A complex expression formed on Chen Yu’s face. “Your adjectives sound so scary...”

Following this, the two of them stared at each other while chewing on betel nuts. However, shortly after, fierce knocking sounds came from the door.

Bang! Bang!

“Brother! Open the door!”

Looking at the dust falling from the ceiling, Chen Yu immediately guessed who was at the door. “What do you want?”

“I want to play with you!”

“Go play with your Second Sister,” Chen Yu said as he switched to a different lying posture.

“Second Sis ended up crying after I played with her.”

“...”

Bang, bang, bang...

Chen Sanke slammed her fists on the door. “Open up, open up~ Big Brother, open up~”

“Only childs truly are fortunate.” Sighing, Chen Yu signaled for Little Peach to go invisible. He then got out of bed and opened the door. “Can’t you be a little more obedient...”

Bang!

Failing to retrieve her strength in time, Chen Sanke slammed her fists into the partially opened door and sent the doorknob slamming into Chen Yu’s lower abdomen.

Chen Yu: “..”

“Big Brother, are you alright?”

“Blergh...”

“Ahh? Big Brother, you’re vomiting blood!”