The Red Hand

Chapter 359 – High Ho Robot Vacuum! Woosh!

"Mika, how on Earth do you like these kinds of stupid shows?" Kana sighed as she, Naomi, Hishya, and the Mika in question sat in the living room together. They were watching some kind of soap opera that Mika claimed was amazing, and while Naomi found it enjoyable, neither Kana nor the Dragon had any interest.

{Its like I can feel my brain rotting with each passing second...} (Kana)

"It just goes to show that you're not cultured enough to enjoy Inosuke's story!" Mika said with passion in her eyes. "His journey from a down-on-his-luck Yakuza grunt to the leader of his own gang is amazing!"

"And its nice to see how kind he is to his family while also being so tough on his enemies." Naomi nodded in agreement. “He's truly a gentlemen.”

"Naomi, you only like this show because just about every man is a fucking chiseled beefcake with ikemen proportions." Kana deadpanned, knowing Naomi's taste.

{Don't try and act like you're some highly cultured woman.} (Kana)

"Hey! Nothing says that I can't enjoy the eye candy and the story!" Naomi huffed. "I can have both!"

{And here I once thought that men were the only sex that was shallow regarding looks, but I've long since learned that it goes both ways... I guess it is just human nature to enjoy such things...} (Hishya)

"And also you can't say things like that when you've got your hot girlfriend to cling to!" Mika retorted as she pointed to Hishya and Kana hugged up on each other. “Don't go shaming when you're no better!”

"But I like Hishya for more than her looks though!" Kana said as she hugged her, visibly pleased girlfriend. “So I am better than you two idiots!”

"Oh yeah? Then tell me, how much of your love is because she's a cute Dragon then?" Mika asked with a wily smile on her lips.

"A healthy thirty percent!" Kana replied.

"Love ya too, babe." Hishya rolled her eyes as she pushed the clingy Kana off her. "Good to know that at least the majority of your love for me is due to my personality."

"I'd bet Kana enjoys teasing you more than anything else." Naomi snickered.

“Yeah, her Scary Kana side has to be into that.” Mika laughed.

"Tormenting Hishya makes up around twenty-five percent of the reason I love her, so it's still not the majority." Kana said with a shrug. “So you're still wrong.”

"But Kana, thirty percent plus twenty-five is fifty-five, which means that less than half of the love you have toward me is due to my personality." Hishya poked her in the cheek. “What have you got to say about them facts?”

"Don't worry about it, after all it's a solid forty-five percent, so it's all good!" Kana laughed as Hishya continued to poke her.

{You're lucky I love you...} (Hishya)

"Hmmm, I don't know I'm starting to think that I should trade you in." Hishya commented as the cheek poking continued. "Mika, Naomi. How about it? Would you like to date the cutest Dragon in the world? I'm pretty low maintence too."

{Yeah, just buy her a few pillows every one and a while and she's happy as a lizard on a heat rock.} (Kana)

"No thanks, Yuki-Onna only please." Mika crossed her arms in an X as she made a buzzing noise.

"Naomi?" Hishya turned to her. “How about it? Willing to come to the fun side?”

"Not unless you can get some Y Chromosomes." Naomi sighed as she tried to ignore her.

"Hmmm, well, It might be doable." Hishya put her hand under her chin as she thought about it. "If you really demanded it, I could be inclined to try." She snickered.

"Nope, you're mine. There is no escape." Kana said as she pulled Hishya into a hug. "Plus, Onee-chan wouldn't let you get away with that. Remember that you promised to take care of me, so you're stuck.”"

"Kana, you're not supposed to lean into that fact." Hishya rolled her eyes.

"Knowing Kana, she probably has shackles in the basement to tie you to a radiator." Mika snickered.

"Why would I need something so crude when Hishya would never leave me." Kana hugged her closer as she pretended to go all stalker girlfriend. “Not that I would allow her to anyway.”

"You're right, primarily because I know that you'd probably go Yandere on me and go stabby stabby." Hishya sighed as she poked Kana in the side to get her to back off.

"If we're talking about Yandere, then I don't think you have much room to mock, Hishya." Naomi said, pointing out the Dragon's possessiveness.

"Oi!" Hishya protested. “I'm not that bad!”

"Its alright. After all Hishya is a Dragon, and they're very possessive, but I don't worry, I find it cute." Kana laughed as she let her go. "Your my widdle scawey waewy, and I love that about you."

"Keep it up and I'll do to you what Dragons tend to do to Princesses if you keep it up." Hishya huffed.

"Kya! So bold! But at least wait till Mika and Naomi go home first before you-" Kana laughed, dodging a swipe from an embarrassed Hishya. "Kya! Onee-chan, help me! Hishya's trying to hurt me!" She playfully called out for her sister.

“Too bad, Akagi isn't here to-” Hishya was interrupted as the Demon in question's voice came from the hallway.

"Never fear! Akagi the Hero has come to save you while riding her mighty steed!" A tiny Catkagi said while riding into the living room on the back of a robot vacuum. “I shall rescue the Princess from the lecherous Dragon's claws!”

"Eh?!?" Kana squeaked in shock and suprise, as did the other girls. "O-Onee-chan?!? Why are you here?!?" She hadn't expected to see her again for months and figured that seeing her before the Demon completed her mission was unlikely.

{YOU'RE BACK?!? AND WHY ARE YOU RIDING MR. VACCUM?!?} (Kana)

"What? Can't a kitty come home every once and a while to stretch her paws?" Akagi snickered as the robot vacuum road up to Kana's feet, bumping into them. "Besides, do I need a reason to come to my home?"

"No, you..." Kana bent down and grabbed the tiny cat, pulling her into a hug. "I'm just... I'm so glad to see you... You're..."

"Awww. Ain't that cute?" Mika snickered as she watched Kana snuggle her tiny sister. "Kana missed you."

"Of course she did! I'm amazing, so missing me is only natural!" Akagi laughed as she was pat on the head. “See!”

"Don't ruin things..." Kana sighed as she sat the tiny Cat on the couch arm. "But are you back for good?" She was hoping this meant Akagi's mission was complete and the Gods' were defeated.

"Nope, I've still got a world to defeat." Akagi said with a smirk.

{I thought it was too good to be true...} (Kana)

"Please don't tell me you went murder hobo on that world..." Hishya said as she looked at the tiny Cat, assuming the worst.

"Define, 'murderhobo.'" Akagi snickered.

"That... That response worries me." Hishya sighed, figuring Enoris had already run red with blood and death.

"Don't worry your scaly little head! It's all good! Only a few people have died so far, and I've already bumped off a couple of Gods and enslaved a one to my will!" Akagi said with a proud smile as Kana scratched her ears. “So nothing too bad!”

"The kitty has probably made the streets run red with blood." Mika commented as Yumi entered the living room.

"It hasn't gotten to that point, yet." Yumi said as the robot vacuum went past her feet and out of the room.

{But it will.} (Yumi)

"The use of the word yet only serves to make me more worried." Hishya said, seemingly catching Yumi's thoughts. "Knowing this one, she probably has plans or something outrageous."

{She's 100% going to start something over the top just to spill blood, I know it.} (Hishya)

"When have you known me to do anything as crazy as you're imagining?!?" Akagi pleaded innocence as the good kitty she was. "Am good kitty, Kanya! Dons't beweeve da wies of dis wetched Dwagon!" She hissed at Hishya.

"Pff..." Naomi barely held back a laugh after hearing Akagi's kitty talk.

"Kanya..." Kana sighed. "I hate that you changed my name in such a cute way..." She looked down at the extremely cute and innocent Catkagi that was laying on the kitty routine thick.

{But it is cute though...} (Kana)

"Youse beweeve mees, wight?" Akagi pined. "Kanya wuves mees, right? Kanya thinks mees goodest kitty wight?"

“Well...” Kana paused, not knowing how to answer.

"Don't let her fool you, Kana!" Hishya said, seeing that her girlfriend was leaning toward Akagi. "You and I both know that behind her cute exterior is an unfathomable evil!"

{SHE'S A LITERALY FUCKING DEMON BALL OF FLOOF! DO NOT BE DECIEVED BY HER FLUFFINESS!} (Hishya)

"Me goodest kitty!" Akagi pretended to cry as her goodness was being questioned. "Why donst yoose beweeve mees?!? Pweese! I wuve youse Kanya!"

"I think I've developed diabetes from the level of sugar coming from her right now." Mika started laughing as she watched the back and forth.

"It makes sense if you think about it since her alter ego is Snugglekins." Naomi giggled.

{These two... I'm starting to think that as long as Akagi acts silly or cute they'll let anything slide...} (Hishya)

"You know, I suppose you are a good kitty." Kana said as she pat Akagi on the head. "But you are also an evil kitty. So it cancels out.”

"She is the goodest evil kitty of them all!" Yumi said as she picked up Akagi and placed her on her shoulder. "Her floof shall spread darkness and fear to all corners of the world! All shall fall to the floof!"

"Literally in the current case!" Akagi cackled maniacally on the Priestess' shoulder. “Kitty shall rule all!”

"I knew it! I knew you did something bad!" Hishya pointed to the cat, accusingly. "Did you pull another Imperial Capital?!?"

{How many have died?!? How much blood has been spilled?!?} (Hishya)

"I mean, I did something similar to that." Akagi replied between cackles. "But what I've got planned is going to make that look like kids' stuff! So buckle up!"

"Imperial Capital?" Mika asked, tilting her head slightly. "I'm assuming you mean in FWO?"

"Where else could she mean, Mika..." Naomi sighed.

"I... That... You weren't supposed to retort there, Naomi! This isn't a two-man comedy!" Mika pouted about being made to look like an idiot.

{Obviously I know its FWO! I just... I couldn't phrase it better!} (Mika)

"The incident in question is one where this idiot decided to assassinate the Crown Prince, plunge the Empire into chaos, and cause such destruction and carnage in the Capital that the Empire unofficially decided to leave her alone." Hishya rolled her eyes as she recalled the nightmarish seen of the burning and blood-stained Capital.

{And she just laughed it off too... That... That was a moment I'll never forget...} (Hishya)

"Hey, I warned them but they kept coming after me." Akagi turned up her nose, not wanting to take any blame or fault for the incident. "They didn't get the message when Chloe popped up in the Emperor's bedroom for a spook so I decided that a proper display was needed."

"Your display cost the lives of three thousand people." Hishya retorted. "Including other players."

{And nearly me!} (Hishya)

"That was a price that I was willing to pay." Akagi smirked. "Besides, I fucking hunted people as my job, so why would I bat an eye at them dying during my battle with the Empire? Not to mention that you were the one who brought them there." She'd wiped the floor with a small Assault Team squad that tried to prevent her from running roughshod over the Capital's military garrison.

"I brought them there to try and talk you down, not engage you in a death match!" Hishya ruffled her hair in frustration. "That damn idiot Serimonica went off script and tried to engage you after I explicitly said we were here to de-escalate things."

{That moron and her friends remind of of Merkyul and co with how obstinate they could be. I understood their distaste for Akagi, but by that point, it was very apparent that fighting her head-on was a fool's errand! And yet when I told them to stay with me they decided to run ahead and fight her head on!} (Hishya)

"Those three were merely a sideshow anyway." Akagi shrugged, not caring about the dead players. "My real goal was to send a message, and it was received."

"You and your 'messages'. Akagi, just how many people need to die before you've satisfied yourself?" Hishya asked, exasperated. "I know damn well that whatever you're doing in Enoris is far beyond what you actually need to do to ensure victory."

{Weren't you saying something about burning that world to the ground before Onee-chan left in the first place?!?} (Kana)

"The killing will stop when I say it does, and not a moment before." Akagi's tone sharpened as she locked eyes with Hishya. "Though, you are free to try and stop me if you wish."