The Protagonist System

70 Lets Do The Time Warp Again

Dudley and I excelled at school, even if it was only first grade. We made lots of friends that year and everyone thought we were brothers instead of cousins. We were the tallest and biggest kids in the school and were pretty much looked up to by everyone in our year, because we were so nice. Making Dudders a party member during the school year had made learning really easy for him.

No one ever accused us of being typical rich kids either, not even the teachers. We did kind of spoil our classmates with occasional parties and random gifts, especially the cute girls to make them blush. Dudley really enjoyed their laughs and couldn't stop himself from wanting to keep hearing it. It was kind of Petunia's fault, because she did the same thing with the women in our neighborhood.

By the time the summer break came around, the Dursley Boys were the most popular kids in the school. It made me laugh internally at how much of a change had come over the Dursleys in so short of a time. Instead of the hate-filled bigots they should have been, they were happy and well-adjusted people and enjoyed their lives to the fullest.

My second book, Harry Potter and the Mummy's Curse, became a best seller like the first book. Children and teenagers of all ages loved hearing and reading about my adventures. The animated toys were pretty popular, too. I couldn't resist making a pet chew toy of the Mummy that when it was squeezed, it would groan and moan like the Mummy did. It sold out in only two days.

Petunia's magic lessons were going well and her spells were getting stronger and more powerful. It wasn't going to be long before she would be in the top ten percent of magicals in the country. I wasn't going to tell her that until just after she wrote her OWLs in two years, though. She would need to see the proof when she saw her marks from both the written tests and the practicals.

The summer passed quickly with me visiting Andromeda's every weekend and spending it with Nymphadora. She pretty much gushed about Hogwarts and about all of the friends she made there in Hufflepuff. She would never admit that it was because she was my girlfriend or that everyone adored the pictures of us that she shared with them. Andromeda had used her camera ruthlessly, too.

*

When my sixth birthday rolled around, Sirius was finally getting the point that he didn't like spending all of his time in prison. He was still stubborn about deserving it while also regretting not putting up much of a fight or protest during his trial and really should have spoken up in his defense.

On the plus side, according to him anyway, he had been kicked out of the family and everything fell to me, his heir. Mind you, there was almost no one left to the family by that point. The only living members were Sirius, a convicted criminal in prison, his cousin Andromeda that was also disowned and her daughter, Narcissa that had fled the country with her son, and myself because my great grandmother was Dorea Black.

The first thing I did between Azkaban visits was to disown Narcissa Malfoy and invited Andromeda Tonks back into the Black family. She refused, because she hadn't been a Black since she was a teenager and had left that life behind a long time ago. It made Sirius laugh, because his cousin hated their family as much as he did.

That made me the only family member of both the Potter Family and the Black Family. It might have been a depressing thing if it didn't come with huge amounts of gold and future potential. When I boasted that I would repopulate both family names with a bunch of bastard kids, Andromeda and Sirius laughed.

When I told them I was serious, they both laughed pretty hard at the joke and told me how much of a horny dog Sirius was when in Hogwarts. He had a new witch on his arm practically every month and got into a lot of trouble because of it... from their boyfriends. It made me laugh, too.

With a promise to work on getting him a parole hearing for being a model prisoner for the last five years, Andromeda and I gave him a pile of food and left. The guard always managed to be the same guy each time and he was just as grateful for both the visits and the free food. His whispered words that he regretted that he was happily married, made Andromeda laugh.

*

Second grade was as easy as the first and Dudley and I were the top of our class. We also helped out everyone that needed it and no one failed any of the tests. The teacher was quite happy about that and praised the entire class for working so hard. The students felt proud and they had every right to be.

My third book was released that summer and it was an instant hit. I had saved an entire family of dragons from being slaughtered by evil poachers. They were a rare breed of Hungarian Horntails and I set them up in the special dragon reserve in Romania and donated enough money for their care.

The dragon handlers named one of the hatching eggs after me, which was a huge honor. It was both funny and weird having a female dragon called Harry, though.

*

Third grade blew by like a breeze and most of the students at the school knew Dudley and I and were on first name basis with us. Neither of us had trouble remembering everyone's names and they were all pretty flattered that we could keep them all straight.

My fourth book was about me stepping in and stopping a vampire clan war in Italy and rescuing a kidnapped vampire princess from the clutches of an evil creature called a Manticore. It had been a bargaining chip by one of the factions to force the war to happen. Manipulation seemed to be a common theme for people, no matter their race.

I had my first inter-species kiss at the end of the book and young and old girls from all across the wizarding world swooned at the fairytale ending. It really was a great scene and I enacted it perfectly. The only problem with that, was my girlfriend. Nymphadora's glare the next time I saw her was a great imitation of her mother's.

I stared back at her without saying anything for a minute, then shrugged. “What else was I supposed to do after rescuing a damsel?”

Nymphadora held the glare for a few seconds, then giggled. “Well, since I already claimed your first real kiss years ago and most of your kisses for the last five years, I guess I can't be jealous if one of them escaped.”

I had to chuckle at that reasoning. “Just one?” I asked and smirked at Andromeda.

“Leave me out of this.” Andromeda said and held her hands up in surrender. “You're only eight.”

That made both Nymphadora and I laugh, because she hadn't refused and only deflected the offer until I was old enough to kiss her properly.

“Shut it, you little stinkers!” Andromeda growled while shaking a fist at us and we kept laughing.

*

A Harry Potter book being released around my birthday every year had become a commonly accepted event and everyone looked forward to finding out what my next adventure would be. In one of them, I had tamed a herd of Griffons and now they lived in my backyard in their own freestanding castle tower under permanent notice-me-not charms on both the tower and them.

No normal person ever saw them and I paid a local sheep farmer to breed a separate stock just for them. Both the farmer and the Griffons were happy with the deal and I made that money back by selling official Harry Potter Pillows stuffed with Griffon Feathers.

I also fought an evil Russian Wizard that was trying to cast the Imperius curse on his entire village to make them all be his vassals and sign everything over to him. It was a surprisingly difficult fight, even knowing the script, because the witnesses needed to see the dramatic highlights and an epic fight between two powerful magic users.

The biggest fight and the final book released during the summer of my tenth birthday, was about me defeating a pack of vicious man-killing monsters in the dark woods of Germany. To my utter shock, I discovered that it was actually Fenrir Greyback's pack of rogue werewolves. They hadn't been named in the book and I wondered why, then realized it was because the original author didn't know their identities. I only recognized the nasty werewolf from the movies.

Let me tell you, it was a very difficult fight. I barely avoided being eaten, skewered, slashed, or cursed. It was almost an entire fight of near-misses that I could have easily been killed by, especially when some of them pulled out wands. Sticking to the script really, really sucked, because I couldn't cast Fiendfire to take them all out at once. I had to fight them in close combat!

By the time the fight was done, my costume was spotless and not a drop of blood had gotten on me, despite the dismembered bodies that surrounded me. I stared down at the severed head of Fenrir and felt both satisfaction and trepidation, because I couldn't tell anyone that Harry Potter had killed him because of his book. The bounty couldn't be claimed officially and... and then I smiled.

My extra-dimensional storage space stopped time, so I dropped the man's head and body into it. I would wait until the newspapers reported the drop in vicious werewolf attacks over the next few months and then I would dramatically reveal that I had caught the beast and put it down. It would bring my fame up to a new level that wasn't related to the books.

*

I received my Hogwarts letter two weeks before my fourteenth birthday and I had a huge decision to make. Do I respond and say I accepted or do I try and follow canon and let Hagrid show up on my birthday to deliver my letter and let me know I'm a wizard? Instead of making a decision, I went to Petunia and asked her opinion.

Petunia laughed at my indecision. “Harry, what is it you always say when someone questions you?”

I had to smile at her prompting. “I, Harry Potter, am the best Harry Potter.”

“Exactly. You are the best Harry Potter. Would he sit by and wait for some groundskeeper to eventually show up to whisk him away to the magical world that you've known about since you were in nappies?” Petunia asked me.

I laughed and shook my head. “No, he would embrace it as soon as possible, because his fans would be disappointed if he didn't.”

Petunia nodded and hugged me. I put my arms around her curvy body and rested my head on her heaving breasts. She chuckled at me shamelessly taking advantage of the moment and lightly slapped the back of my head.

“Cheeky brat.” Petunia said and her voice was full of fondness.

“I seem to hear that a lot.” I said and lifted my head to grin up at her.

Petunia laughed and pushed me away. “Go ahead and write out your response. I doubt the delivery owl stayed around to wait, so use one of the family owls.”

I went to my mail room and my writing desk there. I wrote out my response that I would be on the platform for the Hogwarts Express on September first. I checked the front yard for owls and didn't see or feel one, so I did as Petunia suggested and went to the small owlery and used a family owl.

After I watched it fly away, I walked back to the mail room and read over the supplies list. I nodded at the books and went to the massive library in the castle and went to the first year books that Petunia had used to study for her OWLs. They were the same, so I copied most of them for the list and went to the potions lab to pick up a brewing setup that included the pewter cauldron, expensive brass scales, and a large box of empty potion vials.

I easily filled a standard potions ingredients kit with everything that I would need for the year. Having your own greenhouses for things like that was the best. Floppy really knew what he was doing, thanks to all that time spent with the Longbottom elves and learning everything he could.

“Nanny?” I asked and the elf popped into the room. “I need three standard Hogwarts robes made, a winter robe and cloak, a pointy hat for some reason, and four suits to wear under them.”

Nanny beamed a smile at me. “We bees finally dressing you properly!”

Moppy and Butter popped in as well and I was rushed off to their tailoring room. It had been a kind of side project for them to make appropriate uniforms for any house elves they met personally and had been practising for years. They were very good at it and I was quickly measured and some of my custom expensive cloth was used to make a suit, a set of over-robes, and a hat.

With that to use as a pattern, the others could be easily made and then appropriately charmed to work just like the official robes sold at Madam Malkin's Robes For All Occasions. They even made a set of very fancy ones for me to change into after I reached the platform, because everyone was going to be there waiting to meet me, the savior of the wizarding world.

I went to the observatory next in the tallest tower and created a copy of one of the telescopes there. It was a heavily enchanted muggle one that could easily see the moons of Pluto. Magic was the best!

My next stop was the Griffon Tower and I gathered up some of the protective equipment, like dragonhide gloves, safety goggles, and an enchanted heavy leather apron. I was sure I wouldn't need most of it; but, I would rather have it and not need it, instead of regretting that I didn't have it. I waved to the griffon keeping guard at the top of the tower and barked a hello at it. It barked back and nodded to me.

I went back inside the castle and went to my storage room where I kept the things I made. I picked one of the expensive looking trunks made with the best materials. It was a seven compartment trunk like the one Professor Moody had in the books and I had enchanted it to be the best trunk in the world.

I packed all of my school things into the first compartment, except for my wand. I had two of my own from my time with Louise as her familiar partner, even if I didn't need it. I wanted to avoid going to Ollivander's to buy one, just so I could subvert both his and Albus Dumbledore's expectations. They should be surprised when I don't buy the fabled Holly and Phoenix Feather wand.

My clothes and school uniforms would go into the second compartment into the standing cabinet. There would be no folded clothes for this student. The third compartment held some of my best crafting materials and had a small workshop for me to work in. The fourth compartment had the same contents as the travel trunk I had made for Petunia and Vernon. The other compartments I left empty for now.

With that done, all of my school shopping was done, except for the owl or cat or toad part. I was quite tempted to show up with all three, just because I could, and laughed to myself. I wouldn't be so obvious about bucking tradition and would have to settle for picking up the only thing I hadn't been able to get until now. Hedwig.

I had been occasionally checking the Magical Menagerie and Owl Emporium every few months to see if she was there and she never was. Either she was a recent acquisition or Hagrid bought her from somewhere else. I hoped it was the first or I would have to act quickly if it was the second.

I went downstairs and saw Petunia in the kitchen making a sandwich for Amy. I gave the little girl a kiss on the cheek and she made a gagging sound. “Aunt Petunia? I'm going to pop over to Diagon Alley to do some shopping.”

Petunia nodded and reached into her apron pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper to give to me. I took it and chuckled as I read the long list of things she wanted me to buy. She smiled and swatted at my head for making fun of her, which I ducked and it barely missed me. Amy laughed at us and I darted in and kissed Petunia's cheek.

“I'll be back later.” I said and ran from the kitchen.

I put on a set of outer-robes before I went to the floo room and used it to go to the Leaky Cauldron. I was in my reddish-brown straight hair and no-glasses disguise, so no one recognized me. My first stop was to check for Hedwig at the Owl Emporium and she wasn't there. I went to the Magical Menagerie next and I felt a tentative connection.

Thankfully, it really was Hedwig and she was up in the rafters at the back of the store. I walked over to her and she hooted and hopped off, spread her wings, and gently floated down to land on my shoulder. I carefully ran my fingertips through her chest feathers and she preened at the gentle touch.

“She didn't dive-bomb you for looking at her!” A man's voice exclaimed.

I chuckled and turned to see him walking over to me. “A distinguished lady like this has the right to choose an appropriate suitor.”

The man chuckled and gave the owl an appraising look. “She does look much happier, I must say.”

“Of course she is. She knows a life of leisure and luxury is ahead of her now.”

The man laughed. “All right, you've proven that you deserve each other. Come on over to the front and I'll ring you up.”

I nodded and followed the man and paid for her. We left there and went back to the Owl Emporium to get her supplies. I bought their best multi-level perch with a built-in nest, multiple bags of their best owl treats, some grooming tools for stray feathers and keeping her claws sharp and shiny, and a box of white mice in stasis. Hedwig hooted in approval of my choices.

The young woman manning the counter laughed as she rang me up. “Your owl has great taste.”

“I'll only have the best for my Hedwig.” I declared and there was a brief flash of magic as the familiar bond snapped into place.

The clerk gasped. “That... that...”

“Shh. Let's just keep that a secret for now.” I said and changed my hair back to the messy bird's nest it usually is and formed the fake lightning bolt scar on my forehead.

The clerk gasped again. “You... you...”

I changed my hair back and the scar faded. I took out an autographed picture of Harry Potter in front of his trophy case. It was a funny one of me posing with my head inside the Nundu's mouth and my tongue hanging out as if I was dead.

The young woman laughed again and accepted the picture with reverence. “Th-thank you.”

I winked at her and shrank my purchases before I left the shop. “All right, girl. You can stay with me or you can head back to the castle while I get Petunia's shopping done.”

“Hoot.” Hedwig responded.

“I'm more than happy to have the company, dear lady.” I said and spent the next hour going to the various shops to get the things Petunia wanted. No one said a word about me having Hedwig on my shoulder the entire time.