The Butcher of Gadobhra

Chapter 61: Slow day

The walk back to the keep went quickly. Ozzy wanted to get his wagon, get back to Sedgewick, and start talking to Ben and Suzette about his possible increases. It would be worth it to pay the access fee to see what information they could find on the various game forums. He also wanted to read more on the Henchman's forums and see what new things had popped up. The players he overheard in the tavern talking about reaching the second tier felt it was a huge increase. It would be worth doing the homework and seeing where they could squeeze out some advantages.

But for now, he needed to concentrate on getting to the keep, getting his wagon, and getting home. Luckily, the walk to the keep was fairly uneventful. The old work boots weren't really comfortable at first but at least they quit hurting his feet as he broke them in. The kilt though, had some fundamental problems. What might be a knee length item of clothing to a dwarf only went to mid-thigh on a seven-and-a-half-foot butcher. He was a bit exposed, especially if the wind blew hard.

His hopes of getting to his wagon and get out of the keep with little interaction were dashed as he came out of the woods to so see dozens of tents and scores of adventurers milling around the keep. He damned his luck; must be some raid or event going on. He was about half way through the tents between him and the gate when he heard a long, low wolf whistle. It was echoed by several more and suddenly he found his path blocked by three women in armor who had obviously been drinking for some time based on the smell of beer coming from them. Their leader looked to be nearly as big as Ozzy. She was dressed in a mix of furs and a chain mail bikini with a large hammer on her back.

"My, my. Look what we have girls. Is that an axe under that kilt big boy, or are you just happy to see me? Gather round girls, we have this one to ourselves."

Belligerent fire mages and asshole paladins Ozzy knew how to handle. Smiling females with predatory looks in their eyes he'd always left to Ben. "Sorry to disappoint, ladies, but I'm just a simple farmer who needs to get his tomatoes and be on his way."

Ozzy felt a hand under his kilt pat his ass. "No disappointment from where I'm looking!" Turning and trying in vain to hold down his kilt, Ozzy saw a smirking, three-foot tall halfling rogue who had been behind him. Coming out of tent was a dwarven woman with a fiery red beard. She took a look at Ozzy, finished her beer and tossed away the stein. "By my ancestors! That's my clan’s tartan! I'm claiming this one, keep your grubby halfling paws off of him."

That was enough for Ozzy. He barreled through the women between him and the keep, knocking down the barbarian and sending several others sprawling. Unfortunately, the halfling had quick hands and while he made it past the gaggle of females, she snatched his kilt off of him and tossed it towards the dwarf. "Here you go Hildy, you can have the tartan, I'll catch that man-mountain."

Ozzy knocked over several tents, but made it to the keep where several very amused guards took pity on him and blocked pursuit. Ozzy was ushered into the guard room amidst much laughter. Someone tossed him a large pair of pants that while a bit short, at least covered his modesty. "Ah, I knew we'd get you in a legion uniform sooner or later." Ozzy turned to see the centurion entering. "What the hell is going on here? I got mobbed out there."

Marcus shook his head, smiling. "That would be 'The Vixens', an all-female mercenary group. They showed up last night and started drinking heavily and calling for dancing boys. You showed up at just the right time, wearing exactly what they wanted to see."

Ozzy was tying up the loaner pants with a bit of rope for a belt. A tunic that looked like it started life as a flour sack was also tossed to him. "Yeah, I went a few rounds with an acid spitting turnup over by Makken's place. Lost my clothes and took a beating. That kilt was all he had to spare. Think I can get an escort through that mob out there? I've lost enough days as is chasing down peppers."

An escort of six legionnaires was organized, much to the ladies disappointment, and Ozzy was able to get on his way. As they went back to drinking, Varsil, the leader of the Vixens, turned to women around her. "Well girls, if there's any plunder to be claimed in that little village, I think we know what we can ask for."

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It was slow at the tavern. A couple of the local farmers had been by for lunch and a beer, but other than that, no business. Not having to deal with Sir Timothy and his group of dungeon delvers for a couple of days was pleasant. They brought in money, but also constant drama. A few of them were nice enough, but the bulk of them seemed to live to cause trouble. The melee fighters were constantly dueling or brawling in the courtyard, and the mages had to be constantly reminded that they couldn't test out spells in town. The thieves were the worst.

They were constantly trying to sneak into the townsfolk's houses and steal things. Apples, pies, pots and pans; if it wasn't nailed down someone was trying to steal it. Those caught often complained, "It's just a game. I need the EP." Old James at the general store had been hit by a constant stream of pilfering until he finally hired a guard from the keep and paid to have runed locks put on his doors and windows. Many other townsfolk had done the same.

Aliester had got involved when one bold rogue tried to steal his potions. Unfortunately for him, Adrianna had noticed him sneaking from room to room. The seamstress caught him from behind and put a cloth soaked in sleeping potion over his mouth. Rather than kill him, Aliester poured a potion of "Cursed Warts of Heroism" on him. He woke up with his face covered in huge warts that wouldn't fade until he had died to a Raid Boss seven times. No one tried to steal from the alchemist after that, and Aliester set about making the town safer.

Suzette was immediately put to work as Aliester's assistant. She had learned about the ritual for Hermetic Seals while studying in Hermes realm, but had only used it in a small way in her own rooms. Originally the spell had been developed by alchemists in their pursuit of a Philosopher's Stone. The ingredients for the stone were placed in a container which needed to be sealed airtight. Then the container was heated, rituals performed, and left to age for thirty days. No one had ever succeeded in making the stone. But the spells to Hermetically seal containers had proved useful in many other ways - such as stopping thieves.

Aliester and Suzette placed seals on nearly every house in Sedgewick and on many valuable containers. It wouldn't stop a thief entirely, but breaking the seal would alert the mage who cast it and trigger any runes or glyphs tied to the seal. Aliester preferred sticky traps and loud whistles. When a thief was caught in town after that, they were fined and not allowed in the dungeon until it was paid off. Repeat offenders got warts. Thieving didn't stop, but it did become uncommon.

Suzette had paid special attention to the tavern. The players suspected she had gold and magic items in her quarters. After Ozzy caught a mage trying to dispel the seal, she had tripled the runes. Ozzy broke the players hands and gagged him before dragging him over to the alchemist shop to buy a double dose of the cursed potion.

She was wondering for the hundredth time where he was, when the butcher walked in the door. Over a beer and food, she got the story of his adventures of the last few days. Strangely, he omitted what had happened back at the keep. Rolly and Ben came in when they heard Ozzy was back.

Ozzy's eyes got huge as he saw the butterfly on Rolly's shoulder, and then he started laughing. He'd wondered when Rolly was going to find a pet, but he'd expected a sheep dog. Suzette and the bug had stared at each other with hostile eyes for the first hour that Rolly was back. Eventually they had settled into an unspoken truce for the time being, but at some point, a reckoning was bound to occur.

With no business at the tavern, Suzette decided they could close early and the four of them headed upstairs to eat, drink, and most importantly, discuss the options they had earned for moving to the tier 2.

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