Chapter 123 - Mother - Part【1】
"Open," Phobos utters his voice low and sonorous as he steers the fork towards my mouth which still has not finished chewing on the well-cooked scrambled eggs.
I swallow down my bite and open my mouth for the next whilst leaning back to settle my weary head upon his shoulder my eyes fluttering close drowning in exhaustion. I have been very sluggish these past days Phobos had thought I was unwell but I am doing all right it is just that the preparations for the pack celebration are draining my energy for I am continually on my feet from early mornings to late nights.
As Luna, I am constantly asked for my opinion on every small element from decorations, the potential menu to the way the tents shall be set up. There will be numerous wolves attending from other packs we are close with so it is my duty to make sure they feel welcomed. Before my arrival, Phobos hadn't bothered to care about how he and his pack seemed in the eyes of foreigners but now that I am his female I want to make sure all the negative perceptions they held of our home is removed by the entertaining and welcoming ambience we shall create.
"Theia."
"Hmm." I hum softly snuggling further into his warmth my nose nudging his neck as his comforting scent lulls me further into much-needed rest. Just a few more minutes, please.
"Finish chewing your meal, Drah." There is slight humour in the tone of his voice as he delicately skims the pad of his thumb over my cheekbone attempting to wake me up from the sleep that consumes me. I commence munching my eyes still closed yet his command resonates in my mind earning a faint chuckle from him. I sleepily open my mouth and he feeds the next forkful that I devour eagerly for no matter how tired I am my hunger lingers and reveals itself in my belly.
My male bends down to playfully nip my cheek and I startle awake from my haze peering up at him with drowsy eyes. "Phobos," I whine not in the mood to joke around with him. The truth that I have so much to do today brings forth another wave of tiredness that swamps me.
"Open." He states elevating the spoon to my lips to fill my stomach with some lukewarm porridge and I part them taking a loud slurp of the creamy richness. It tastes really good, I did not have the energy to prepare breakfast for us today so Phobos did so instead. He has gotten really good in the kitchen I must admit he can whip up something delicious in a matter of minutes sometimes. He has been training under me to cook but I hadn't expected those lessons to come in handy.
My male slips his sinful fervent palm over my bare thigh that lurks beneath my skirt and I flinch at the abrupt sparks that sets my cold flesh aflame whilst watching him with cautious eyes. "Open." He repeats with a filthy smirk and I detect the wickedness held in his voice for he has asked me to open my legs not my mouth. I blush wildly and protest with a punch to his chest obtaining a gruff grunt in return.
He seizes my slender wrist and steers my hand to his mouth to brush his lips against my pulse, a sign of his affection towards me that he often does. "You need not work so much, my female."
"I must." I yawn tiredly stretching my sore limbs before glancing up at him once again. "I witnessed the looks the other wolves gave you and our pack during the celebration you held in my honour on the second day I arrived here. I wish to change their impressions of us."
"My pack can never be...'welcoming' as you put it. It is not in our blood we will always be feared and respected, Theia. We are different from the rest in a way they cannot understand, some even blatantly have refused to enter my land for they think I am an abomination."
"There is no reason for them to invariably dread our lands, our wolves or you. We are harmless until provoked we are good. We need strong allies Phobos."
"I do have allies." He rasps as I raise my eyebrows at him in question.
"A mere few packs will not aid you in your times of need. We need more powerful packs with loyalty that burns in their veins."
"No wolf would dare to enter into a war with me and if they did I am mighty enough to slaughter them all. Unlike me, my beast does not grasp the concept of mercy."
"Phobos please." I plead with him wanting him to remain on my side in this matter. I have only begun making our wolves understand the need for this and if he disagrees so will they once again. His striking ocean blues plunge deep into mine and a low sigh of resignation passes his lips.
"Do as you wish, I will not stop you in any way. If you think this is for the best I will do as you want."
"Then how about you smile in greeting when everyone comes?" I ask with enthusiasm. It would work if he smiled warmly at them they might be less stiff and guarded in his presence.
Phobos flashes his teeth to me a hushed growl thundering out his chest with displeasure. "I am the King. I do not smile, even my wolves haven't seen me smile that much why must I do so with strangers?"
"Then what about-"
"You can do anything as long as it does not concern me." Phobos rephrases his earlier statement to me and I pout in defeat. Here I thought I would be able to get him to alter his intimidating and fear-instilling presence a bit.
"Okay." I nod giving up not wanting to force him into doing anything.
"What have you planned for today?"
"The females and I were going to discuss something about the menu for the celebration, there are a few changes to be made. Then I need to help the pups make the decorations, they wanted to take part in it. After that I would have to check our winter inventory we cannot use all of our supplies it needs to be in certain amounts at a time and we might need to trade for some more. If we do need such since Cronus is coming for the first time I will ask him to bring some along. I also need-" Phobos sets his forefinger against my lips quietening me with a low frown on his face.
"This is too much work, my freesia."
"It is nothing compared to what you do and it is my duty as their Luna. If I won't do it then who will?" My male beams at my words and gently plants his lips against mine as though he is both proud and happy with my truth.
"My Luna." He whispers his chest puffing up his eyes gazing into my own with deep adoration. Phobos always tells me there is a reason why the moon has blessed him with me not simply because I possess a certain indefinable power that compliments that of his beast's but because while he has to be the hard hand that punishes and dominates I am the gentle hand that comforts, heals and nurtures. We are perfect two halves that fit like puzzle pieces.
"And did you say the pups will do the decorations?"
"Yes! Is it not exciting? It will look colourful and fun!" Phobos scrunches up his nose showing me his disapproval of this idea of mine.
"I will not have my pack looking like a damn circus, Theia." There is a seriousness in his eyes that baffles me, why must this male be serious all the time?
"Trust me on this Phobos."
"I do trust you it is the pups I do not." There is a comfortable silence that follows his truth as I calmly sip some water to quench my thirst from the wooden cup not replying to him and he instantly recognises the meaning behind my lack of words.
"You will not yield to me on this will you?" He groans as I readily nod my head in reply. I want the pups to do as they wish. Before I had arrived they were kept on a tight leash they did not know how to behave like a pup for they were thrust into the world of harsh training to be future warriors and serve their Alpha and that includes not just the males but also the tiny females. So I wanted to make sure they knew how to play around and just be normal pups. They were growing up too soon when there was no need for that.
"And while we are at this topic the pups require more art supplies."
"Art supplies?"
"Yes for the storytelling evenings I host for their entertainment. The females are giving birth to many more and I will need more stock to store for the future participants."
"Very well, I will speak with the Alpha. I will try to get as much as I can at the next trade. You can come with me if you'd like I shall buy for you whatever you wish."
My forefinger distractedly circles the rim of the cup I hold, my mind occupied by other thoughts. Despite my happiness in the rapid growth of our pack my heart still refuses to give way to unbroken joy. As their Luna, I am so very delighted for the expecting families and couples but as Phobos's female and myself as Theia, I still seem to be standing on an unsteady bridge where if it split I would be shoved into a dark hollow pit of bitterness, heartache and neverending misery.
"Theia." There is a profound softness in my male's voice as he gazes up at me with a knowing look. There is nothing I can protect from those sharp eyes of his that never fails to read as though I am open book. "If I as your male have such immense hope for you and our future why are you faltering my queen?"
"It is not that simple for me anymore, Phobos." I choke out clenching my trembling palms into closed fists digging my nails into the frail flesh in order to arrest what wishes to show itself to him. My weaknesses, my true feelings about my infertility he is aware of them all but at this moment I do not want to bare myself to him.
"I never said it was. But you are the strongest female I know, so hold on with me for a little while longer. The moon will bless your womb." He sets his palm over my stomach that is swollen with food. His eyes soften when he peers down at it his yearning shown unquestionably for me to discern. Each day his longing for me to birth him a male grows like a watered tree the only problem is that the tree is not bearing fruit.
"Do you... not want to have that conversation with me anymore?" I ask timidly a sense of nervosity filling me up as his inflamed blues rise to confront mine. They are wild and roaring with fleet rage.
"Will you provoke me this way?" He asks his clutch on me tightening in a warning for me to watch my words as I audibly gulp and shudder to his intense furious gaze that scorches my skin.
"Y-You know I do not mean to. But we must address it. If there is a chance that I cannot get pregnant ever and the pack demands you take another female we need to consider-"
"Consider what?" He snaps his eyes daring me to continue. His chest is heaving an immediate variation of his emotions befalls to what I have initiated.
"Phobos." I cradle his face in my hands angling my face to the side to kiss him to suppress the fury and tension that erupts whenever we speak of this. He rips his face away from my hands and my advances not allowing me to calm him.. Capturing my wrist he draws me closer to him in one severe yank so my breasts collide with his big muscled chest.