Chapter 207 – Last Four
Chapter 207 – Last Four
“Erm… why am I getting a sense of déjà vu again Petra?”
“Heh, probably because it reminds you of our cultists back on Lesbos, Ikarus?”
Having just being teleported out of the arena stage and back into the bar, something iffy appears to be happening around here as people seem less interested in drinking and betting than usual. As a matter of fact, it’s almost turned into a celebrity meetup with fans or something
“It’s the two fated phoenix lovers themselves! Quick, take a mental picture!”
“Nice work on teaching that Norse bitch a lesson! How dare she try and split your love!?!”
“Really wish you weren’t so merciful to Aphrodite; her matchmaking can be so misguided at times”
Three random heavenly beings lead our little fan group as I really have no idea on who these lot even are. They don’t seem powerful by any stretch of the imagination so I might just refer to them as heavenly cultists this time around. Petra starting the cultist thing this time around, their lovestruck eyes are already getting annoying.
Sure, we’re not the only people getting attention which makes it a little better. Mother appears to be handing out signatures while father refuses to even acknowledge the puny Gods trying to get his attention. Honestly surprised mother isn’t even more popular for two obvious reasons.
Some of the God we just fought against also have a following, three of note closest to us are Hermes, Aphrodite and Freyja. The worst of the lot receiving attention is everyone’s favourite idiot Ares, he’s flexing his muscles to the crowd of swooning women around his side. This isn’t a Ikarus jealously moment, most of his armour hides everything anyways. He just looks like a freaking idiot doing that.
Should also note some of the defeated Gods have already left. Nyx, Thanatos, Gabriel and Raphael, the last one being the angel who’s been turned into a eunuch multiple times already. Think it’s pretty obvious why he might not want to stick around, maybe I’ll go for round three if we meet again.
“Let’s get a move on Petra…. Oh, for fuck’s sake…”
Already knowing we’ve got some time left before the next round kicks off, we’re about to leave this bar using a teleportation portal in the corner when someone stops us in our path.
“…Will you just fuck off already Freyja!? She’s my bitch so go get your own!”
Realizing I’ve just said something facepalm worthy but not caring in the slightest while wrapping my arm around Petra, my anger instantly returns as the woman seems to stare at my wife again! I don’t want to be jealous but this Norse Goddess is making me lose my way!
“Please, all I intend to do is apologize, nothing more, nothing less. If I had known you were already taken, I would’ve taken a different route”
Okay, whatever it is Freyja’s trying to do, it’s not helping. Petra may be trying to hold back her laughter but I don’t find this funny at all!
“Heh, what other route would that have been then?”
“Well… a night filled with mead, passion, joy and singing, ending up on a rug of furs, locked in kisses and cuddles. Why limit a bed to just two when three works even better?”
…
Trying to give one of the stupidest smiles and winks I’ve ever seen, clearly this woman thinks she’s smooth but she hasn’t the foggiest how us two do things. Just because this God is also related to love, like Aphrodite, doesn’t mean she’s any good at it!
“Freaking horny Viking… come on Petra, we’re seriously leaving now…”
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‘I wonder what’s going through her mind right about now…’
While we’re heading through the marketplace getting a bite to eat, purposely ignoring anything that may upset my stomach, I’m getting the weird feeling Petra may be bottling something up.
…
Continuing to look at me like I’ve done something worth mocking, Petra’s gorgeous blue eyes really can’t help but say a thousand words. And yet, she remains mute just like her sister.
“Oi wifey… I haven’t said or done something I shouldn’t, right?”
“Heh, really don’t think I can let that one stand Ikarus. I’m… your… bitch?”
Despite the pauses in between and Petra trying to put on a false smile, I know for a fact she didn’t mind being called that! Auras don’t lie and I know there wasn’t a hint of malice in her reaction. If anything, that time I nearly called her fat got more of a reaction.
“That’s how marriage works, right? I’m your bitch and you’re mine… part of the contract after all. That’s totally how marriage works and you know it!”
“Heh, and yet, my adorable but sometimes astonishing Ikarus, you’re the one who publicly chooses to wear a collar. Anyone would think you’re my property just by a quick glance”
“Huff, that’s not a freaking collar and you know it! A choker is a completely different thing!”
“…”
Instead of getting a verbal response, her eyes once again do the talking as even I know there is a stigma related to wearing chokers. I just like the feeling of it around my neck really, there’s no connection to begin submissive, being choked or liking penises, it’s just an item of clothing really! And that stigma was if a guy wears a choker, it’s means they like to do things with third limbs. I’m fully using my gender as an excuse here.
I’m also pretty certain chokers once were used for fancy slaves back down in the human lands… I’m really not going to win this battle so let’s just move on. I guess I did start it by calling the wife a bitch though.
“Anyways… since we’re now on the topic of fashion, you want to see if anywhere sells enchanted clothing up here? It’s the land of the Gods so they must sell something I can use while changing form”
“Heh, do I get to choose what you wear Ikarus? Being called a bitch has hurt me more than you can imagine. A new collar might be nice as well”
…
“*Sighhh*… you sometimes don’t realize how out of context you’d sound if I didn’t get your sense of humour. People might think you’re controlling and manipulative really”
“Heh, wouldn’t do it if you weren’t smiling like a dope Ikarus… now, let’s get you looking like a flower”
‘I might just go full on goth just to prove a point now. Petra will still like it regardless…’
__________
“Heh, I’m disappointed in you Ikarus. Know my hair matches but there isn’t the slightest bit of pink on you”
“Orange is pretty close to pink… and besides, don’t be acting like you still won’t simp for me regardless. Think others might be looking as well now”
“Heh, of course they are Ikarus. Pure beauty does that to people”
“I so hate your quick wit at times… love ya Petra”
“Heh, love you too Ikarus”
Arriving back at the arena once the break is over and sitting down together, even I’m starting to get a few looks from the new outfit I’ve got for.
You see, they have quite the few options and I was thinking what might be the best for a bird turned demon lord. It’s basically a dress mixed with a little armour and leather straps, obviously including a stupid choker and stockings as well. Maybe I have gone a little too edge lord looking with it but fuck it. It’s not full on emo or half as bad as father looks so we’re all good. Also it’s enchanted but that was entire point.
I think I may have gone a little short on the skirt side of things especially when I’m still adamant commando is the way to live. Could that be why the crowd was looking? Ah, I’m fine, they didn’t see anything… can always nuke them if they did though.
“To keep things fresh and interesting, and due to viewers demanding that it’s pointless not getting to see an actual dragon in action, we’re going to allow form changes for this upcoming battle…”
‘Form changes huh… this could be interesting’
“…So, next up, the world ender herself will now be forced to bear fangs against her own daughter! I’m now calling Kellearzar and Ikarus to the stage!”
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(Kellearzar) “This God really does come out with some weird things, doesn’t he?”
‘Me vs mother? That’s… good, I think? In dragon form means no pounds of meat for the audience to savour upon’
Following the world ender to the arena, mother quickly changes form and immediately, a huge mistake gets made from this suggestion…
How the hell is anyone going to see anything when you have the world’s largest dragon blocking everything from view!?! This isn’t even a breast joke thing about them being big enough to view from space… human breasts on a dragon would look weird, I need to stop focusing on mother now! Point is, she’s too big for this arena.
“Erm… we’ll also allow flying and the arena barriers to be expanded into the skies. Everyone knows dragon are big but damn…”
<Since they’re allowing form changes Ikarus, want to give your natural body a bit of a run out? You don’t tend to spend much time like that anymore>
Mother takes Plutus’s advice and soars into the sky while asking me that in quite the reminiscing sort of way. You’d barely realize I’m still a bird if I didn’t constantly moan about it or have a thing for a little fluff. Feathers are the best sort of bedding after all.
“The lack of arms are a disadvantage though… screw it. Not like I’m taking these fights seriously anyways”
And so, it’s time for the good ol’phoenix bod to return! No hybrid human wings, no demon horns or basic Brookyn bitch, just the classic furry that needs no reminder.
This alone gets an odd reaction from the participating Gods down below, could be they’ve never seen a phoenix in the flesh before. We are like the ultra-rare limited edition trading cards that never get packed… I still wonder what happened to that yellow guy that came before us four prophesized ones. Guess that’ll remain a mystery unfortunately.
Anyways, we both arrive get into combat position in the air so let the fight begin! That’s a question I never thought I’d have to answer, how would one even defeat a creature that could destroy the world while being heavily nerfed?
The first ever time I’ve had the pleasure of sparring with mother and fuck, she doesn’t mess around, that size with a speed that might match Petra is terrifying. Getting carried around by her or seeing her on the ground is overwhelming enough but this flying speed is insane!
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---If you ever wonder why I don’t give dragons AI with the anime styling I use for everyone else, this is a prime example…
---This is a different styling and imagine Ikarus is the same size as her paw, that’s kinda the scale…
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Once mother closes the distance to me, mainly down to me giving up because I doubt I can outfly that, she does something pretty unexpected by breathing fire all over my arse.
“Seriously mother? Fire? You’re not getting dementia or something?”
<Hehe Ikarus, might as well give them a show. Now, you better fly because I’m going to catch you!>
I’m already trying not to laugh from her taking this just as seriously as I am, as if mother of all people I could seriously spar with! You idiotic Gods watching on may have wanted a serious battle with my dragonic mother but you ain’t getting that today!
“I’d like to see you try!”
Darting away really high above the arena, basically playing cat and mouse, I seriously can’t see any chance of beating this hulking monstrosity! You’d think her turning circle would be like a bus but she’s as agile as a feather! Mother is on a rampage to catch her daughter and I’ve got no chance of doing this.
Realizing this little chase we have going along is like a child playing with their parent, couldn’t care in the slightest because I’m enjoying the hell out of it, my inner child tells me the only way to win this is getting cheeky with it. I’m going to be a right pest!
Turning around and waiting for mother to close the gap a little, I make a dart for the top of her head, which in turn causes her to slow down trying not to crash into me. I’ve now ended up perfectly where I wanted…
Mother spits flame all ahead of me again but obviously it does nothing except reduce visibility and make me feel slightly warmer. One hundred percent resistance to fire has always been a cheat code after all.
Talons locked right into the hardened scale in the middle of her head, it’s time for this pest to find a way of winning this fight. How you ask? By pecking at her face of course!
I can’t use abilities because of rules, magic is irrelevant because mother is a freaking monstrous beast so what else can I do? Besides, the idea of actually trying to harm mother sounds horrible. I don’t care if this is supposed to be some fabled tournament arc, mother fits into the ‘do not hurt’ category. I’ll just beat up father again if a dragon needs a beating.
<Seriously Ikarus? I didn’t raise you to act like poultry!>
“Says the one you just tried to cook me!”
Trying my best to peck at her eyes, not like a chicken at all despite mother thinking otherwise, the attack kinda works as it forces her to have to shut them and use her paws to try and swat me away. I’m not trying to blind her or anything, just act as that little eyelash that sometimes gets stuck under the eyelid. That shit is annoying.
After being swatted away too many times than I care to admit, I give up on this stupidity and think of something else I can do to annoy her into submission. Annoyance is the only way I’ll have a chance to win this battle otherwise I’ll just end up getting caught in mother’s paw.
‘Hmm… I’ve got it! This better work because I really don’t want to try whacking her with a sword… not like I could even do that with no arms’
Getting myself right under her wing and dodging the gigantic paws swiping my way, it’s time to annoy somewhere else! Dragons have to be ticklish somewhere, right? You’d think the paws or under the wings would be the best spot…
<Hehe, stop Ikarus… hehehe…>
Like I’ve found her Achilles heel, funny how he hasn’t come up yet considering all the Greek crap, mother becomes unable to think or fly straight while I’m under her wing, making sure my feathers get their use! This is so unbelievably stupid and she has no defence against the pure might of a thousand feathers!
<Serio-, hehe… Ikaru-, hehe… stop!>
“Give up and I’ll stop, it’s that simple mother!”
<Hehe-noooo… hehe…>
“We can keep this up all day!”
<Hehe… that’s it, defe-, hehe… I call defeat! Phewww… >
Getting myself out of the darkness which is mother’s wingpit, think that’s what it called because of how an armpit works, mother visibly looks exhausted from my pesky antics. I needed a reliable plan and this bird brain provided one!
Both of us begin to inevitably chuckle while heading back down while I also sort out my feathers by shaking a lot. Even under her wings, there’s dragon scales everywhere and they can feel a little sharp if you act like a gigantic ball of fluff.
As soon as we get back down however and I’ve changed back into the demonic hybrid form, it seems some Gods are not fans of fun. Most of the participants we were sitting alongside don’t seem to mind all that much though.
(Plutus) “Well… I’m not sure what to make of that… and before you malakas ask, no refunds! That was still a fight… I think? We technically have a winner so don’t complain!”
“Erm… I apologize you had to witness that Petra. Sometimes, bad things have to be done for good reasons”
To the Gods and the onlookers watching over this competition, I couldn’t care in the slightest about being a tad childish. It’s the wife I’d rather not show a stupid side like that to. That’s the unfun sort of embarrassing.
Not entirely sure why I’m worrying because she seems to be smiling about it.
“Heh, thought it was cute Ikarus. You know, are you ticklish by chance?”
“Pleas-… don’t!”
As soon as she says that, a hand finds its way under my armpit and causes me to jump. You see, I’m flexible to a lot of things even if I like to complain a lot, tickling is really not for me.
“Always found it just hurts really, even back in my Brooklyn days it was like that”
“Heh, then that’s a no go then. How did you know that was your mother’s weakness anyway?”
Instead of answering, I just shrug my shoulders and cuddle up into the wife. She’ll understand easily enough that it was a complete gamble on my part, grew tired of this competition after the first round so the fact I’m now in the final is meaningless really.
<Let’s get this started God of war, shall we? Little one once told me of the irritation you put her and the dark one through>
“Oh, really think I care flying lizard? You think you can best me? You’ve got no chance!”
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---The styling looks okay when it’s black on black apparently…
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Wanting no time for breaks, father rapidly jumps into action getting his proper form out while Ares seems to relish the chance as well. Thankfully, father can fit into the fighting part of the arena way easier compared to mother, it’s still looks a little janky but there is enough at least.
Ah, something about what the ol’lizard said as well. Despite how it sounds, sometimes I do share stories with the parents, that situation where we encountered Ares’s dungeon was one of them. I honestly thought he wasn’t listening but guess he listens way more than he lets on.
“Hmm, it appears the next contestants are really eager to get started… before I’ve even given the bloody announcement! *Sigh*… we have Ares against Dermakvar this time out”
Since both contestants have already gotten started and annoyed the game maker in the process, the fight begins with father darting directly upwards out of the arena, leaving behind a blackened cloud of pure poison and dread. Only once remember seeing him do that and that was when he accidently laughed from me swearing when I was a wee young phoenix.
“Wahahahaha! You’ll have to use more than a little poison beast!”
While shouting that, Ares pulls out a chunk of something resembling coal and a rag, tying them together into a makeshift facemask for use against the poison. Still can’t forget that magic is allowed here but abilities aren’t, also think there’s some filters set inside this place so us lot can’t get effected by this attack also. The fact we’re still breathing says it all really.
Ignoring Ares’s rage, father readies himself for the aerial attack using the cover of the poisonous fog as a shield, then swoops down to presumably rip him to shreds…
Ares stands proud, waiting for the ancient dragon to get ever closer, then slashes his spear right at the perfect moment to land a deep cut into father’s chin. Even I don’t know how’s he’s managed to do that with a spear made from wood.
Both parties come out of that encounter bleeding as father responds using his wing to swipe at the God who looked too smug after his hit. Once the counter is received, he returns for another sweep around the arena.
Father swoops back around for a second attempt at catching the God and begins his descent again. This time around, he’s a little more successful with the attempt, even managing to get a small nibble causing Ares’s shoulder to bleed immensely.
“Blasted lizard! Come down here and speak face to face, not fleeing like a coward!”
<Hmph, as if I’ll ever speak words for an event this petty God of war. You’re not worth my time>
‘Ah, the fabled dragon tongue that I’ve only seen a few times that’s full of power. This fight is pretty kewwwl though’
From the wholesomeness that was our fight to the bloodbath that’s occurring in this one, the differences might as well punch you in the face! If only I got to spar against father again, mother was fun and all but sometimes a little blood can go a long way. It’s obvious which parent I take after more.
Father aims up for another fly around much to Ares’s dismay, except the God of war’s grin has returned. He’s got an idea on how to take down the ancient winged beast.
You see, instead of trying to dodge father’s advance, Ares’s dives forwards confusing my father and takes this split second to full effect. It even if it looks like the size of father’s stomach causes Ares to get knocked down after landing a hit…
One swift stab, right into the position of his wingpit, causes father to lose all sense of control gliding along and loose control of that wing. The main problem with this plan is the fact… father’s momentum hasn’t slowed in the slightest…
‘This is really epic… shit!’
(Kellearzar) “Dermakvar… you idiot”
Father flies straight into the side of the arena, causing the entire place to shake and half of it to collapse immediately, most of which falling upon him. This reminds me a little of how one of our sparring sessions went, think he got caught under trees last time out. Guess I also get my dopiness off him as well.
“Why in Zeus’s name did I think to allow dragons to fly about!?! This is on you viewers; don’t think I’m forking out for the repair costs because you wanted this!”
When father finally rears his stupid head out of the mounds of rubble, Ares stands over him spear in hand, already knowing he’s lost this fight to the God of war. At least he seems physically find, mentally you can see his pride has really fallen off a cliff.
“It’s over lizard… you fought a good fight but that really was sloppy”
<Hmph… hope little one rips out your spleen, God of war. Nice battle anyways…>
Mother just continues to sit on the crowd facepalming while the rest of us really don’t know what to make of this. We’re lucky this side of the arena didn’t collapse considering how much devastation just took place.
“And so… tomorrow, only two contenders are left to fight! But beforehand, let’s hear a message from our sponsors… is the advert on? Good… I have a message for you contestants, Ikarus and Petra. There’s an invitation up here for you”
Plutus goes through his commentator’s routine, then quickly switches off the persona to single out me and the wife. This is definitely going to be from Asmodeus about to set things into motion, right?
“Can you say who’s sent the invite Plutus or is it confidential?”
“I probably shouldn’t because it’ll put most Gods off, but I’m still going to regardless. The one who rules all has graciously asked for your attendance, so you best not leave him waiting…”