Reincarnated as a Phoenix

Chapter 205 – Showmanship

---Might struggle with content for next week but we'll wait and see. Blame a combination of illness, exhaustion and pets. If you've ever had the misfortune of a flea infestation before, then you can relate to my pain. Fucker's are driving me insane...

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“Participants, before we get ready, make sure you grab any equipment of your choosing. If you end up disarmed during the fight, that’s your own problem, no one else’s. It’s not an automatic disqualification but if you wish to fight unarmed, then there’s no problem as well…”

Inside a small but mostly empty gladiator arena with fifteen other faceless participants, under the midday sun and pretty giddy considering what’s about to happen, the merchant God Plutus gives us a pre-announcement just before the game is about to begin.

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---Haven’t done a scenery image before but have it anyways.

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Reason for my excitement just comes down the styling of this place, it literally looks like something you’d find gladiators fighting in, like that Sparta-something slave guy and all those famous stories from either Greek or Roman myth! Hey, I don’t exactly know much about the Roman stuff, gladiators and those legions that practiced decimation is basic enough knowledge though. Here’s just hoping I don’t get stabbed in the back by a senate or something…

Something else to note, all us participants have some faceless filter on and look like blurry silhouettes, obviously I know my parents and Petra are here somewhere but it’s a little difficult just going off auras alone. Actually, scrap that, mother’s silhouette is still obvious just from those two ‘assets’ alone.

Not sure how the God’s voice is able to echo throughout this empty place considering he’s in the other world, couldn’t care enough to find out on how they do speakers. It’s time to get ready…

All of us head to the side of the arena and grab a few things of a choice. There’s weapon racks filled with shields, spears, swords, daggers, bows, basically any weapon you can imagine using in a duel is ready for use. All are wooden though so should be safe for sparring, even the arrows are rounded at the tips so an accidental death should be unlikely.

Most people grab swords or spears, I only grab a simple shortsword as well and a dagger for backup, never been one for weighing myself down with a huge staff or battleaxe. They also have them here as well but they basically remain untouched.

Ah, if you’re interested in the hows and whys of this place that I did care to ask about, there’s apparently a one-way barrier surrounding this entire arena so being overwhelmed by gigantic onlookers inside this table isn’t a concern. It would be distracting as fuck if we were fighting and we could see people staring above us, all betting on who might win. That’s just this place and its world inside a world concept. Guess it’s similar to dungeons but you can physically see what’s going on inside without having to enter.

“Here are the last-minute rules that need to be mentioned again. Obviously, none of you should go for killing blows and ideally, we don’t want any blood being spilled, they technically aren’t rules though. Magic is allowed but you’ll find it’s heavily restricted, abilities however are completely outlawed…”

‘Fuck… I’m getting knocked out early then, right Aesa?’

What even the point in a tournament arc if I can’t just nuke the opponent into oblivion!? Things were never going to be that easy but damn it, even Gods like to ruin any semblance of fun.

[<Have faith Ikarus. Most of these Gods here don’t stand a chance even with abilities being locked>]

‘Eh, you’re surprisingly confident on this, maybe I’ll be optimistic then… should probably focus on the guy speaking real quick’

“…You already know how the knockout format works. Oh, make sure you’re all aware that ANY inference in someone else’s fight is also an instant disqualification. Remain inside the stands until called for your turn… think that’s mostly everything, give me a second and I’ll open up the viewing slider”

Plutus finishes what can only be described as a boring lecture while all us shadows are equipped and ready to go. I’m a little surprised in the lack of shields that have been grabbed from the racks, would’ve thought Olympic Gods would’ve preferred extra protection but guess they’re just like how we are down below? Maybe the concept of magic ruins that idea.

This demonic bird in particular ain’t using no heavy shield, carrying that around would make one of my arms suspiciously more muscular than the other. Of course, I have to turn it dirty but seriously though, one arm being buff and the other not. If you can’t understand my point, then bless your innocent soul…

“To all you idiots around me… don’t get in my way or I promise you’ll regret it. This isn’t your show to win”

One of the silhouettes clearly wants to do a little trash talking before the game begins, no idea on who it could be due to the fact the voices are currently being filtered to sound robotic. Think it’s a manly imposing figure but you can’t really tell.

“Heh, let’s hope we fight each other soon then”

“Hmph, what a colossal waste of time this is. Little one would’ve walked this if abilities were allowed”

It doesn’t matter if the other people are blurred or fuzzy, my party is just way too obvious. Little one and heh, mother with her assets, screw confidentiality when the speaking patterns are just that obvious. All I’d need to do is moan and Petra would spot me in a heartbeat… I’m kinda considering doing that now. It’s a shame I still get shameful.

Anyways, all sixteen of us climb up into the empty stands and sit around to wait for the event to begin. They’re probably collecting bets and doing things like that up there, none of us seem interested in making conversations so it’s just the waiting game. Thankfully, Plutus seems just about done…

“Contestants, we’ve already done the draw so the first of the fights will now commence! The first seed will be the wild Goddess of the hunt, facing off against…”

“What is it with all you idiots always calling me wild!?! I’m related to nature, vegetation, childbirth, even freaking chastity! Yet, I’m always the wild idiot around here!”

All of a sudden, one of the silhouettes stands up clearly pissed from the introduction Plutus just gave. Whover she is, she’s seems pretty small compared to everyone else.

“*Sighhh*, just lighten up already Artemis, all I’m doing is hyping you up for the crowd. I can easily put a mute filter on if you don’t like being called wild”

“*Grumble*, stupid, greedy, fucking, bastard *grumble*”

“Anyways… the angry Atemis gets to face off against the majestic angel Uriel, finally returned from her vacation in the mortal world, ready for your entertainment!”

As soon as the announcement finishes, the silhouette filter drops for the two about to fight, giving us all a clear look at the two women.

Complete honestly from this bird, I was expecting something like this, at least from Artemis alone. Her feisty aura might come from the fact she’s really, really, flattt… and Uriel, thought the angel was supposed to be male but guess not. Barely read the bible so haven’t the foggiest.

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Both of them get into the arena, Artemis with a bow and arrows while Uriel carries a small looking spear of sorts… the fighting shall now commence! It’s time for a little competition…

“Three… two… one… fight!”

Straight from the start, the Goddess of the hunt draws her bow and gets off an attack at lightning speed, grinning madly but looking like she was born with that piece of wood within her grasp.

Unfortunately for her, the speed of the angel easily matches her sleight of hand, easily dodging the blunt arrowhead, even managing to close the distance between them in an instant. Pretty strange how a few plants have started to bloom in the place the arrow landed, some Godly magic reasons I presume.

Almost like Uriel is trying to toy with her, she changes her direction to basically circle the Goddess instead of directly getting into stabbing reach. The vibe from this fight is like a mentor fighting off against a disciple a little.

“Artemis, you’re not holding your breath when aiming for me. Luck is a factor but you’re letting emotion get in the way”

“*Grumble* I don’t need your advice!”

Another arrow flies in the general direction of the angel but she easily just ducks under the projectile, all the while trying to give advice in the process. I feel like there’s a story here between these two I’m unaware of, maybe the angel once taught this wild Goddess?

“You’ll never find a partner if you don’t find a way of calming that temper of yours Artemis. Small and light, you should be a burden to defeat to anyone bigger than you”

“What makes you think I even want a freaking partner!?! And I’m not small, damn it!”

“Why else would you stuff your bra if it’s not to garner attention? Isn’t that the point?”

“I’m not fucking stuffing it! How dare you keep accusing me of being flat!”

Despite Uriel purposely trying to piss Artemis off, I can still see she’s trying her best to teach her something. At least it seems that way when she avoids the wild swinging of her opponent, trying to now whack her with the bow.

Unfortunately, any advice is clearly lost when the wild Goddess literally throws her bow at the opponent, then unsheathes a dagger swinging that wildly as well.

After a few failed swings, the Goddess trips over air and finds herself falling flat, face first into the dirt. Uriel literally facepalms and then just lightly rests her spear tip against the neck of the fallen Artemis. This battle is somehow already over…

“*Sighhh* you never learn, do you old friend?”

“*Teeth grinding*… it’s your teaching that’s the problem!”

‘That was… different, I guess?’

I mean, both Gods are clearly competent at fighting and would put the majority of humanity to shame, I’m certain neither are winning this competition though. Uriel definitely is giving me an odd sense of déjà vu though, not entirely sure why…

“Thank you both for such a… odd display. Next up, we have something a little different that none of you would’ve expected…”

Both Uriel and the still clearly raging Artemis return to the crowd while the next contestants are called and are unveiled. One of them is very freaking obvious, the other is a little less so…

“… The undying fear of all mortals and an anger that could roast continents and Gods alike, we have the world ender making an appearance in our midst. Please, give a warm welcome, to the dragon Kellearzar herself!”

“I thought the mortals liked us? The humans at home seem to like us”

‘Mother really is precious at times’

“The red menace has the only other angel appearing tonight. Personally, I’m hoping the angel Raphael gets mentally and physically destroyed here, no one likes angels who come to your front door and preaches about what’s morally just”

As soon as the filter drops for the next two opponents, I just can’t help myself when said angel Raphael is the same freaking guy we came across back at that bar! The fact he’s even walking straight is a miracle in itself.

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“Hang on, it’s the freaking angel whose nuts I destr-, I mean the guy I kicked. Fancy seeing you here, friend!”

“Who in the holy one’s name just said that!?! Show yourself right now, disgusting filthy demon so I can regain my honour!”

Immediate disgust fills the guy’s face as he can’t figure out which one of us silhouettes said that… poor little eunuch.

I would like to point out there really is no reason for me to show myself to him, he literally just called the world ending dragon’s daughter filth, while he’s basically walking alongside her. Mother’s going to have some fun with him.

Despite mother’s smile, the smothering aura that drags behind her is already becoming intoxicating to us, even over here. I don’t think that angel seems to realize it just yet though, she’s really angry.

“You really seem to dislike demons… don’t you angel?”

“What about it, senseless dragon? The battle between good and evil proves that thing needs to be destroyed along with any supporters of such foul creatures. Anything that cares for such vermin should be put in the same category as well”

‘Dude… just learn when to shut up! Losing his junk is going to be a happy memory if mother’s full wrath comes out here’

The next contestants inevitably enter the arena while I’m just desperately trying not to look what’s about to happen. I think the aura next to me is father as even that seems to be looking away. I doubt mother’s anger will be continent destroying worthy, but she’s definitely about to do something sinister, I just know it.

Unfortunately, it’s just as I predicted…

“Darling… even a disgusting wyvern doesn’t deserve such an ill fate”

Both fighters hold swords and the angel Raphael goes into the fight pretty confident, especially when mother tosses her sword to the ground.

The angel rushes mother weapon in hand to begin with, but only finds her standing still, that fake smile never moving an inch from her face nor her body even moving to breathe.

He tries to attack her side, only to find one her leg blocking the impact. He then approaches the other side, only to find a deadly kick flies his way before he can even get close…

“ARGHHH!!! Dear merciful God… what has thou done to deserve this!?”

A scream that seems to shake this reality piecers everyone’s eardrums as the guy collapses to his knees, mother’s kick lands exactly where you might expect. If I hear that right, one of the silhouettes even appears to be giving an applause to her performance, I think I know who that might be…

‘Poor guy looks like he’s about to combust into the dirt… Petra! What is it with you and ball breaking all of a sudden!?’

After finishing said act of pure evilness, mother’s real smile returns and she waves directly to the crowd, making me want to curl up and die. I may have created two monsters here…

“How was that Ikarus? Did I do it right?”

‘I’m one with the crowd… this bird doesn’t exist’

(Plutus) “Erm… and that was the creature more powerful than any other down in the mortal world! We may need to get a stretcher… no one likes preachers but that looked personal…”

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“Anyways! Now moving onto the next fight after that brief testicle retrieval, we have something even more strange and new! The first is a hybrid believe it or not, a phoenix that now inherits the blood of the true majins! Let’s all hope she doesn’t fly too close to the sun as Ikarus now takes the stage!”

‘I know we’ve got a reputation down below but didn’t think it would travel so far up here’

And so, it’s now time for this bird to shine! Some helpers did have to come down here and help that angel because it looks like he can no longer walk straight, enough about these ball breaking shenanigans though!

“… Her opponent will also be something pretty unique, even though we’ve all seen her many times before. Like most years when she finds time to exit her deranged dungeon, we have the beautiful, yet love obsessed Aphrodite, gracing our eyes for this occasion!”

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‘Aphrodite huh. Guess I can enact some justice for Zeki and Ariza today, she’s even wearing something like that. That pervert’s dungeon really struck a nerve for Mr Obnoxious’

Both arriving at opposite ends of the arena, also choosing the same type of short sword, I’m getting myself ready while she just stands there with arms behind her back, smiling and looking right out of place. Penelope would love to have afternoon tea with her considering all that pink she’s got on.

“Be gentle with me, would you please cutie?”

‘Those foul words won’t tempt me temptress, cuteness won’t stop what’s incoming!’

The God Plutus gives us the green light so it’s now okay to fight, maybe I’ll toss Zeki a bone here and destroy this Goddess where she stands. That might be bullying though.

‘Nope, I can’t allow empathy to creep its way in. She’s a pervert in a cute school dress looking form’

While I’m having an internal crisis about whether I should attack a Goddess who honestly reminds me of an even cuter version of Mute, she takes the chance to get in an attack first…

Except, I was right about her being out of place here. The outline of a magic love heart flies my way, albeit extremely slowly so I just simply burn and whack it with my sword. I know some people are lovers, not fighters, but this is all but confirming my suspicions.

“Hey! You’re not supposed to reject my love, just embrace it and it’ll be good for you!”

‘That doesn’t sound hella sus at all’

Not even wanting to know what effect that spell would’ve given me if it had landed, I just shake that idea off and go to close her down. I could just use flame and not bother but right now, I’m really hoping she has something hidden away that may turn the tables. This is less of being a battle junkie and more not wanting to bully someone who is showing so many openings, this Goddess is either weak or just simply doesn’t care.

In the end, she charges up another love heart attack, makes a little heart with her hands and the same thing flies towards me again. Smashing this one out of the air was easier than the last.

“Oh come on! I’m telling you, it doesn’t even hurt, just let it hit!”

‘She’s got to be mocking me, why even enter a fight if it’s obvious you can’t win it? There’s got to be secret technique she has hidden away’

Even just seeing her stance holding up that sword, it looks way too heavy for her wrists and I doubt she can even swing it. There’s no point continuing this charade anymore, she shouldn’t be here…

Just going up to the stupid but clearly adorable Goddess of love, I simply give her a good bash on the head with my blade, letting gravity act as the power behind the blow. This will seriously be bullying if I go any further than that.

“Ouch! Did you just bonk me on the head?”

“Given what happened back in that love dungeon with the other phoenixes, you’re lucky you’ve still got your head. Either fight me properly or give up already”

I mean, Natty x Lotte was fun as hell to watch but that entire place was ruined with that other kiss complemented with shades of phoenix incest. She ruined a dungeon that could’ve been really fun… to be fair, the entrance was pretty degenerate as well. Just remembered about all those toys that were lying about in that house…

“Hehe, don’t be like that, beautiful phoenix. Passion is a thing that transcends simple things like blood ties, I fail to see any problem in drawing those two closer together”

‘At least she’s honest about her tastes. Not sure I would trust being around her for too long though, I’ve got siblings that need to be protected as well’

“Hrm… you two malakas do know you’re supposed to fight, right!?! Stop talking and get on with it already, people are waiting!”

Getting lectured by Plutus, I can’t help but flip the bird to the sky in response. I seriously can’t be expected to fight this woman when she’s like this, this draw was a complete mismatch!

(Aphrodite) “Do we have to Plutus? She’s way too cute and knowing I’ll get bopped on the head again… I’d rather just sit down and watch now”

Looks like she’s waving the metaphoric white flag and this is my win. Unfortunately for the announcer, he can’t let this pure stupidity slide…

“Argh, every year you do this Aphrodite! One-year, big bulky men are in fashion, the next, it’s femboys as you call them and now, it’s demons-phoenix hybrids apparently… let’s just move on already before people start to riot…”

‘I swear I can hear booing behind his voice, guess they really didn’t enjoy that’

While we’re heading back, I’ve got to question on what that magic was. That spell had a weird aura behind it, reminds me of the net the mage Leone once used. Don’t know much about magic but do know that’s a spell that wouldn’t fit into any normal category, like an ancient or forgotten spell. That shit is way more interesting than magic theory.

“Outta curiosity, what would that love spell even have done to me? It didn’t have much power behind it”

“Teehee, it’s not a love spell phoenix, those things I only reserve for special occasions. All that would’ve done is given you the truest form of passion there is! A huge sense of ecstasy and pleasure, brought you to your knees and made you moaned a little. If you slept after and didn’t want to fight, that would be on you”

“You mean like a-… s-stay the hell away from my wife! I’m not sure whether she’ll love or hate you with a spell like that”

Either I’m interpreting what Aphrodite says wrongly or I’m completely right and this woman needs to be locked away! Either way, she is a right menace, my empathy isn’t needed for smiling perverts like this! Doing that in front of a crowd, what is this world coming too… heh.

Getting back to where we were sitting and going as far as I can away from that woman, I swear she’s purposely smiling towards me now, Plutus continues his awkward introductions and they continue to only get worse…

“Apologies for the strange turn of events but if you’re a long-time viewer, you’ll know this isn’t completely unexpected… now, for the fourth fight. We have the legendary Goddess Freyja vs the one who has been gifted Athena’s mantle, the new Goddess known as Petra”

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‘Heh, his enthusiasm for this has faded… where the hell do they even get this information from? And wait, I thought Ragnarök weren’t supposed to be here? Plutus has played us for a fiddle it seems’

Regardless of this, both proud women enter the arena and get ready to fight, my wife obviously wielding a blade while the other has a smaller battleaxe. I’m already sensing this fight may be a little more professional than the others.

“You two may now fight… let’s hope this impresses a little more”

Kicking of the preceding’s, Petra suicidally rushes at the Goddess, almost like an addict looking like a fix. Her speed is always admirable and her technique is always majestic, aiming precisely towards the Ragnarök Goddess neck and shoulder.

Thankfully, this Freyja woman is clearly more skilled compared to some of the previous opponents and blocks it easily enough, even reacting with a counter of her own going for Petra’s legs. She easily just jumps over the counter though.

‘Wow… is this how we look when sparring? It’s… kinda hot’

Just two heavenly women battling in the arena while I can admire my wife as much as I want without getting labelled as a simp. This isn’t the time where I need to go full degenerate and worship the misses but damn… the fact I can even see and keep with both those two is really awe inspiring as well.

“Stranger, you seem to know your way around the sword”

(Petra) “…”

The fight continues down this trajectory where one opponent attacks, the other blocks then counters, then that happens over and over again. Most of it would be a blur to the common eye, even now they still seem to be speeding up.

Still locked in stalemate, I’m guessing it may take Petra’s black-eyed mode to win this. I’m still one hundred percent confident she’ll win this, just it may take more power!

“Ya know… I’d love a drink or the chance to share a tale or two once this is over”

“…”

Surprisingly, it doesn’t take anything extra like that as Petra steps up a gear when Freyja seems to be showing a little too much interest in her opponent. I’m unsure if that was flirting or not, don’t think that was case but I’m just getting distracted.

It matters little because the Norse Goddess finds herself toppled on her back after a duck by Petra, a slash colliding with her heel which in turn leads to Petra’s blade resting against the targets neck.

Seeing the wife’s curvy arse standing over here with that wooden sword firmly against the loser’s throat… I need to stop this now, this shit ain’t even that hot but I’m making it so!

“And it appears the new Goddess Petra has managed a shock result, defeating one of the most powerful in Ragnarök comfortably! Maybe we have a new underdog on our hands…”

“Heh… nice fight by the way… think Ikarus may be drooling though”

‘And of course, she’s ruined the moment by looking back at me. I don’t drool looking at her… I think? Actually… I might’ve been there’

Still standing over her giving a hand to help the loser back on her foot, this simple act of kindness completely backfires when Freyja does something even I couldn’t predict.

“Mighty warrior Petra, that was really inspiring…”

Now, her words might not seem that extreme until you see what she does next. It starts off as if she plans to hold Petra by the waist, that plan changes when Petra steps back slightly and the chasing Goddess falls to one knee, the same type of stance you would do if you plan to serenade or propose…

“…Would you do me the honour of becoming my shield sister and maiden? A sword arm like yours… is indescribable”

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“Heh… I’m not sure what to say… Ikarus, you have any idea what I should do?”

I’m normally not a jealous person but the way Petra’s reacted to this, she knows exactly what she’s doing, even grinning towards me like this.

She wants a reaction and the reaction she’s going to get is way more unfiltered than it’s ever been before. Maybe complete honestly isn’t the way to go but… fuck that woman!

“Cut off that bitch’s head already Petra! If you don’t, I’ll fucking drop a nuke down that whore’s throat!”

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At least this fight was more entertaining for the masses than what I went through. All of Ragnarök can burn for all I care…