Redo of a Romanceless Author’s Life Devoid of Love; Another Chance at Youth

Chapter 480.

Chapter 480. Heading to the Peak: The Ascent. (3/5)

Aren’t I kind of screwed if I don’t remember?

I wanted to scream and curse the world. I was furious.

But hold on, raging now would get me nowhere.

The origin of this ordeal, I must calmly think it over and find the root cause.

What the hell happened last night that would lead me to forget?

‘I… do.’

Those two words suddenly surfaced in my mind. Everything up until the moment I uttered them last night suddenly came back to me. But… after I said them, I couldn’t remember.

Was I traumatized? I was blocking the memory out?

Ugh, wait, maybe it has to do with this splitting headache I have.

Physical exhaustion, dehydration, combined with Rosa’s wet top covering my head while I was asleep. Either we were messing around and did it in the lake, or it rained while we were doing it outside by the lake. 

Examining the tent more closely, the sun’s rays were shining through and I was presented with an unexpected clue. Remnants of raindrops, their shadows through the tent to be more specific. It seemed to be the latter, rain caused this.

For us to not come inside as soon as it started raining… it must have been quite the night to remember.

Only… I didn’t remember it.

Right now, I wanted to do nothing more than bang my head against a wall in desperation and pray that my memories of our first time returned to me.

Isn’t Rosa going to kill me if I tell her I don’t remember our first time?

I internally trembled at the thought.

I’m… undoubtedly a dead man.

Should I write a will beforehand?

Wait. Maybe I can simulate it in my head.

I’ve got to try to imagine it. It’s my only hope.

What would we have done?

What sort of positions did we do it in?

How many rounds did we go for?

How long did we do it?

There were too many variables. It was impossible to get it right.

Yep.

I’m screwed.

This is too depressing. I’ll just have to wing it, and if I’m seen through, I’ll have no other choice than to gracefully accept my death. It wasn’t a bad second life. I’d say I had a pretty good run this time around. If there’s a third time, maybe I won’t make the mistake of having an assassin for a girlfriend.

Haaaaah… no, I’d definitely make the exact same mistake and do it again. I... love her. I love her enough to even let her kill me with a smile.

I’m definitely a goner. 

An idiot.

One of those stupid couples.

Accepting my fate, I felt strangely relaxed. That was the very moment I realized something.

Hadn’t I just gone through the five stages of grief in under five minutes without realizing it?

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance.

Damn, I really had.

I just speedran grief.

Was that a world record?

Probably not.

Well, it’s a PB I guess, better than nothing.

Like hell it is!

“Mmm~” There was movement inside the sleeping bag. Rosa popped her head out and slowly opened her eyes.

“Morin.” I’d completely forgotten there was still something in my mouth.

“Morning~” she climbed up and gave me an affectionate kiss on the left side of my neck. 

She moved her hand to my lips, stuck her finger inside, and pulled out something that made me want to cry. How the hell did I fall asleep with that in my mouth!

“Jeez, such a perv~ you seriously went and fell asleep with my panties stuffed into your mouth~”

“Why was that even in my mouth!”

“Why else would it be in your mouth?”

“Was I snoring?”

“No, you fell asleep with it in your mouth, dummy, did you forget?”

“Rosa…”

“What is it~”

“There’s something I have to be honest with you about.” I couldn’t hide it, it was best to immediately come clean about this.

“What, are you addicted and you want to do it again?”

“No… that’s not it.”

“Then what is it?”

“The truth is… I don’t remember anything from last night.”

Rosa blinked a few times as if she was waiting for me to say I was kidding.

“I’m… not kidding.”

“Wait… seriously? You don’t remember?”

“No. I don’t.”

“I see…”

She didn’t seem as mad as I anticipated.

“Did we… really do it last night?”

“You were amazing last night~”

My body stiffened up when she teasingly said that.

“Huh? By that… are you implying we did?”

“Did we? Or didn’t we? I wonder which one it is.” Rather than angry, she seemed amused having given such a vague response.

“You’re really not going to tell me?”

“Figure it out yourself.”

She pushed off me, rose to her feet, and started to get dressed. Her expression right now was unreadable. I couldn’t tell which it was.

Seeing as her face didn’t give it away, I focused on the color of her soul. Light green? Was this… a feeling of relief?

What was she relieved about exactly?

That I didn’t remember?

She really isn’t mad?

Should I be glad that I get to live to see another day or feel depressed that she doesn’t care that I’ve forgotten something important? My feelings were mixed. She could at least be a little mad.

“Rosa, why aren’t you mad when hearing that your boyfriend can’t remember his first time going all the way with you?”

“What makes you think I’m not mad?”

“Are you?”

“Well, you’re not wrong, I’m not really mad or anything.”

“Did something happen last night that you don’t want me to remember?”

“Not at all.” Her expression gave nothing away, but I didn’t miss the flicker in the color of her soul. Pink mixed with a light shade of red. Embarrassment.

So that’s why. There was something embarrassing she didn’t want me to remember and she felt relieved because I didn’t remember it.

Did she cry or something?

Well… if that’s the reason, I guess I can accept it.

I didn’t bother to keep prying. Hopefully, it’ll naturally come back to me over time.

“What are you lazing around for? We’ve got a long day ahead of us, you know.”

“Ugh.” I couldn’t help but groan when I recalled what our plans for today were. My body was already sore from last night but we were climbing up a bloody 14er of all things today.

Yes, the final destination hadn’t been this lake for the scenic view here, but rather, one of the tallest mountains on the continent renowned for its scenic view at its peak. 

Or so I’d heard. I’d seen pictures from the peak, but I didn’t really get the whole appeal to it. Down here by the lake looked far better both in pictures and seeing it in person from my perspective. But maybe if I saw the view from the peak with my own eyes I’d understand just what was so great about all these oversized hunks of rock. 

What had really piqued my interest in the view was the show at the planetarium I’d gone to a few months ago. In that show, it made the view look amazing, but that was naturally an artistic rendition specifically designed to look good.

When I casually brought it up with Rosa when we’d been previously thinking of a destination, her eyes lit up and she said she absolutely wanted to go. Her reason wasn’t deep by any means, in fact, it was quite simple. She wanted to take pictures of us on the summit and boast about where she went over the summer with her boyfriend when school was back in session.

I figured I could use the experience as reference material for a story, so I didn’t mind. I wanted to understand just what everyone found so appealing. I may end up being disappointed by it after all the hype, but it was worth a shot.