Is It Bad That the Main Character’s a Roleplayer?

Chapter 134

Our duel had been postponed until tomorrow, leaving me with nothing to do.

However, spending this rare day off holed up in my room didn’t seem that appealing. Moreover, sitting in my room trying to write a letter only made me realize unnecessary facts.

So, I decided to leave my room. I left the Temple quickly, so fast that no one would even notice I was gone, let alone try to stop me.

“Mister, where are you going?”

But of course, Deb followed after me.

It was almost as if he thought I would completely disappear if he took his eyes off me for even a second. His behavior seemed a bit different than usual, his eyes having an unusual sharpness to them.

The reason? Well, my best guess was that it had to do with him misunderstanding my earlier attempt to lower my HP.

I could vaguely understand his feelings. However, my character wasn't exactly the type to find comfort in such actions.

Although, given my track record, it wouldn't seem surprising if I suddenly tried to end it all. I mean, I often made statements and took actions that made it seem like I was ready to throw my life away.

But even with all these reasons, this didn't sit well with me! It’s true that you shouldn’t leave someone with depression and self-loathing alone, but that self-harming stuff really was just a misunderstanding!

“Get lost.”

While I didn't like being alone, that only applied when I was somewhere I couldn't talk to anyone, like a dense forest or an empty, quiet room.

Right now, I was headed to a place where being alone would be much more comfortable. After all, what I was about to do would be slightly out of character.

“I'll stay quiet and out of your way.”

No. It wasn't like I didn't want him to be around me. I just wanted to do something without having to worry about breaking character…!

“I won’t say it again.”

I rested my hand on my sword hilt as I gave him another warning. However, Deb only flinched, showing no intention of leaving. He seemed truly determined.

Damnit. Why wasn’t he going away?

I debated whether to act even angrier but, after some thought, concluded that it would be better just to give up.

Besides, what good would it do to drive him away only for him to follow me secretly right after? If nothing else, he was very capable of doing that.

“…”

In the end, I had no choice but to give up. With my annoyance on full display, I walked ahead without even once looking back at him.

Deb, who was at least 10 cm shorter than me, quickly followed.

After descending to the lower levels for a while, I found a spot I liked. It was a bridge spanning over a lake in the middle of the city.

“…Wow.”

Even Deb, who was somewhat emotionally barren, perhaps because of his roots, let out an exclamation.

It was understandable. The rays of sunlight shining down here made the buildings sparkle like stars, and the streams of water flowing everywhere glistened like thousands of scattered gems.

Moreover, there was a strange echo whenever the wind blew, and the trees throughout the city would shake their branches and drop their leaves.

What a beautiful city it was, truly.

Click.

Thus, I wanted to create a permanent record of it that would last forever rather than just a fleeting memory.

I took out the pen I’d been carrying in my inventory. As for paper, I’d taken—let’s say ‘borrowed’—some from the temple, so there was no need for me to prepare it specially.

“…?”

Scratch, scratch.

Black ink began to color the paper, slowly creating a world of lines.

“…Mister, you sure draw well.”

Yeah, I expected this would happen.

In truth, that’s why I’d wanted to come here alone. While drawing didn’t explicitly go against my character setting, it was a rather peculiar hobby that didn’t quite fit my character.

However, the truth was that I enjoyed drawing quite a lot, to the point that I’d even made it part of my profession.

Since coming here, I hadn’t had the time to draw, nor had the situation allowed it. Besides, drawing while playing a game was quite absurd, so I hadn’t even considered doing it.

With several days of free time, I had no reason not to indulge in this hobby of mine.

Furthermore, I genuinely wanted to draw again after a long time.

Listening to the bustling of people passing by, I began to draw on the paper I’d placed on a board.

I didn’t particularly like starting with ink lines rather than a pencil sketch, but I couldn’t find anything that I could use as a pencil, something that I could erase.

In the end, I managed to roughly sketch the surrounding scenery, albeit a bit messily. Unused to ink, I messed up my line control here and there, and since it had been so long since I’d last drawn, my perspective was a little off, making it a rather crude drawing.

However, it was comforting. The blowing wind, the pouring sunlight, the ambient noises surrounding me.

If I closed my eyes, erasing that fantastical scenery before me, it felt just like being back in Korea.

“Mister.”

…Maybe Deb coming along was actually a godsend.

I came here to escape my idle thoughts, yet they immediately started showing up.

“Erm, the ink is spreading.”

I looked at where Deb was pointing. In that brief moment I’d spaced out, a sizable ink blotch had spread on the paper. Though I didn’t mind it much since I was already planning to discard this first drawing, it was a bit of a shame that I’d wasted this ink.

Ink was pretty expensive, after all.

Crumple.

“Woah! Why are you crumpling it up?!”

It was a drawing I intended to discard anyway. I crumpled it into a ball and tossed it beside me.

Deb, looking shocked, tried to straighten out the crumpled paper, but it wouldn’t completely smooth out. In that brief moment, the still-damp ink had smudged everywhere.

“If you’re going to throw it away, just give it to me.”

No, why would he want such a poor-quality drawing? It’s useless.

“Throw it away.”

“But it’s so well drawn, why…?”

“I said, throw it away.”

I had tolerated him following me this far, but not this. I subtly placed my hand on my sword’s hilt.

Maybe sensing my determination, Deb finally crumpled the paper he’d tried smoothing out.

Rustle, rustle.

After a brief pause, I began to draw again on a fresh sheet of paper.

“Oh…”

Despite not having drawn for months, it seemed my days of drawing outnumbered my days of not drawing.

Fortunately, I quickly returned to my normal skill level.

As a result, the drawing I completed shortly after had a higher level of completion than the previous one.

I’d controlled the line thickness more naturally and regained my skills for perspective and composition. I also used fewer lines, making the drawing seem cleaner.

“This one is even better drawn—”

I seemed to be getting back into the swing of things.

However, it still looked crude.

Having judged it as such, I again crumpled the paper. Deb made another noise to signal his regret, but I didn’t care.

Rustle, rustle.

Rustle, rustle, rustle.

The black lines consuming my idle thoughts continued uninterrupted.

“…This.”

And when those lines finally seemed normal enough, I began to draw two people.

The first person had a layered bob with enough volume to give an elegant yet confident impression.

The second person had a handsome and striking face, fitting for an active actor.

The wrinkles around the eyes, the nasolabial folds, the cheekbones that naturally became more pronounced with age…

“…!”

Ah. Mom, Dad.

I carefully traced the portraits of my parents with my fingertips, careful not to smudge them. Of course, there was no warmth to be felt.

But it was still comforting.

At least I could still clearly remember their faces.

“…Family?”

Unlike my vague-sounding voice, my memory of them wasn’t vague at all.

“…Erm.”

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I stared at the drawing in a daze.

Though they never cared much for manhwa or novels, they liked my drawings, so I often drew family portraits. Thankfully, that habit kept their image fresh in my mind, allowing me to draw them almost reflexively, even if my memory of them was a little blurred.

“…”

Ignoring the silent Deb, I drew a few more familiar faces.

A male friend. A female friend…

“Demon Knight!!”

Just then.

I heard a loud voice from quite a distance away and reflexively clenched the paper. As a result, the drawing got a bit crumpled…

“That clueless iron wall…”

No, considering he knew my temperament and still spoke up to me proved that he wasn’t that perceptive, either.

But it was good that he’d turned his head. Carefully flattening the crumpled paper, I slipped it into my inventory when Deb wasn’t looking.

Throwing it away would have been more in line with my character, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it.

I‘d already been quite the unfilial son, so discarding their portrait would just be too much. And yeah, it would also be pretty offensive to my friends. Since I’d drawn it, I might as well keep it.

* * *

* * *

I stood up as if nothing had happened. In the distance, I could see a redhead waving to me. Akata and Bers were with her.

Akata was perched atop Bers’s shoulders, nibbling on a meat skewer, while Bers was munching on apples, devouring them in two or three bites.

“Tsk.”

I crossed my arms and leaned against the bridge railing. Deb kept glancing at my hands, noticing the drawing’s absence, but it was too late.

I’d already put away the remaining paper and the pen.

And they would never be seen again. The recent events were a rare exception. Typically, I wasn’t someone who would just break character so willy-nilly.

Moreover… How could I be so sure they wouldn’t somehow get to see an image of my in-game family? Although the portrait was in black and white and somewhat impacted by my drawing style, frequent exposure might make them think, ‘Wait a minute?’

I wanted to prevent that at all costs.

“There you are! We’ve been looking for you!”

“If you were just wandering around anyway, why did you bother looking for us?”

I glanced at the kimchi dumpling, who came running toward us, and Bers, who walked over with enormous strides.

As expected, they had stopped by the market. Both had their hands full of food.

“Don’t worry, we weren’t just looking for you. Ah, would you like some? It’s delicious!”

“Berserk thinks this is the most delicious.”

Right. Eating was one way to pass the time.

I looked at the wooden cup the kimchi dumpling handed me and the meat skewer Bers held out. The cup contained pickled fruits, and the meat on the skewer seemed to be from a scorpion.

The smell of meat went up my nose.

“I don’t need it.”

Although the pickled fruits were tempting, my character wouldn’t easily accept such offerings.

I turned away, giving them a look that asked what they wanted.

【Ah!】

Akata, who was fidgeting on Bers’ shoulders, let out a small sound.

“Right. This little one said she had something to tell you.”

Akata?

I turned slightly. Akata having something to tell me made me feel both a bit anxious but also curious.

Of course, the anxiety stemmed from knowing I’d done something pretty bad to her.

【Erm…】

Maybe she was going to ask why I didn’t let her kill her mortal enemy.

But kid, no matter how much that guy was your enemy, it was just too hard for an adult to watch a child kill someone. People in this era might not bat an eye, but I most certainly did.

【So.】

Or maybe she’d found out about my deal with the Magic Tower? Was she going to be mad at me for showing her pity?

Just because she was a child didn’t mean she lacked pride, so the possibility was fairly high. Despite not being intentional, I also harmed her parents.

No matter how tough things might get, taking the support offered by someone like that would be a lot tougher…

“Th-Thank you.”

…Huh.

“Thank you… very much.”

She expressed her gratitude rather awkwardly, like it was a phrase she’d just learned, but also in a clear tone, as if she’d practiced the line dozens of times.

Akata spoke while standing firmly on the ground—Bers had let her down at some point.

“And… I’m sorry.”

Akata extended something toward me. In her small hand was a white bracelet with a slightly green tinge.

【I… don’t think I will ever come to like you. Whenever I see you, I think of my family. But… But I think you’re a good person. I really do… A truly good person.】

As I stood dumbfounded, Akata gently placed the bracelet in my hand.

Given my character’s dislike for being touched, I should have brushed her off, but I couldn’t bring myself to do that.

【I’m sorry, really sorry. You haven’t done anything wrong, and you’ve helped me so much. And yet… I…】

Ah, shit.

【…Will there ever be a day when I can look at you properly? I want to truly thank you with all my heart. Will that day ever come?】

I… suddenly feel like crying.

I bit my lip to regain my composure. I reflexively clenched the bracelet, and Akata withdrew her hand as if satisfied.

I felt a little dazed, like I’d been hit over the head.

【…I noticed you seem to like tea made from white-hair-ribbon leaves, so I made this bracelet from its stems. I wanted to give you something better, but I heard you need money for that around here.】

If only she’d cried like an ordinary child, asking why I’d taken her parents away, I wouldn’t have been so flustered.

If she’d gotten angry, asking why I’d deprived her of her chance for revenge, I would have accepted it.

Why were the children of this world so mature?

“【I should have learned more words.】 Thank you. 【That’s all I can say.】”

Why did they have to be so dignified, making me even sadder?

Suddenly, an inexplicable surge of emotion welled inside me, and I again bit my lip instinctively.

The reason? I didn’t know. If I did, I wouldn’t be feeling so flustered.

However, my eyes betrayed me. The edges of my vision blurred slightly, and I felt heat rising to my head.

Ah, damn it.

It was true that when emotions piled up, one’s thresholds lowered, making one more prone to expressing anger or crying.

But I thought I’d let out some steam with that giant explosion I’d caused in the Vigabol tribe. Did I still have so much pent-up inside me? Was I that stressed out? Was that why I was having these mood swings??

“Such a pointless gesture.”

N-No, wait. I definitely cried in my room earlier. I cried a lot.

“You.”

Or was it because I’d just retriggered my sadness by thinking of my parents again? And this kid managed to get in a direct hit??

“You have nothing to apologize for.”

To hell with figuring out what triggered this.

At this point, with my voice shaking like that, finding the cause was no longer important.

Escape. I had to escape immediately.

“Demon Knight?”

“Uhm, Mister—”

But was there any way to get out of here without breaking character…?

“Hmm! This won’t do!”

“…?”

At that moment, Bers, whose voice was at least twice as loud as a regular person’s, opened her mouth.

“I’m too impatient to wait until tomorrow!”

No, she didn’t just open it. Grinning mischievously, Bers thrust the food she was holding onto Deb. With all that slapped against his chest, Deb bewilderedly found himself holding all of it.

“Let’s fight now, warrior!”

“—?!”

And then she came charging, so unrestrained that one could almost call it cheerful.

“Wahaha!”

And of all people, she was aiming for me. Bers directly grabbed me.

The distance between us was too small, and the unexpected turn of events left me no time to react.

“What are—”

“H-Huh!!”

And like that, I was dragged away by the arm beyond the railing right beside us.

Yes, she dragged me over the railing of this bridge, which had been built above the lake and nothing else.

“Th-That mad fighter lady!! We’re above a lake!!”

“G-Going over the railing is prohibited…! Rather than that, Demon Knight!!”

This had become an unexpected tandem dive.

“Let’s go!”

But, well… maybe this was for the best?

“Wahahahaha!”

I failed to reach out and grab the railing at the last moment. Instead, I slapped away Bers’ hand.

Ah, I’d obviously put the bracelet into my inventory. I couldn’t afford to lose it.

“Demon Knight!!”

“M-Mister Knight!!””

【Wh-What?! Suicide? Suicide?!?】

Naturally, because I had missed my chance, my body started falling toward the lake together with Bers.

“Aah! Mister!!”

“W-We need to go down there!”

“Crazy idiot, why are you jumping in too?!”

【F-Falling!!】

Splash!

And finally, as my body plunged into the lake.

Splaaaash!

After reflexively blowing plenty of bubbles into the water, I rose to the surface and took a breath.

“You…”

I subtly wiped my eyes as I reflected on the situation.

“Aha! How is it, Demon Knight?! Now that we’re clean, we can have a proper fight, right?!”

“…Yeah.”

Getting carried away by Bers’s provocation wasn’t out of character, and since I was drenched from head to toe, it was hard to distinguish tears from water.

In other words, I managed to maintain my character and avoided an emotional breakdown.

“I’ll drill courtesy into your bones.”

This turn of events suited me perfectly!