Chapter 97 - Nothing To Offer
Vanessa deserved better than someone who harbored as much inner darkness as Angelo did. The enemy had been defeated yet he still felt so helpless and angry. Trying to break up the monopolies was somewhat of a distraction but nothing could fully distract him from what he almost did.
He wasn't as good as Avery. He never could be.
That didn't stop him from wanting to be selfish even if he couldn't act on it. He still enjoyed seeing Vanessa in group settings despite the slight awkwardness left over from when they hadn't been talking.
She hadn't managed to corner him alone yet but he knew it was only a matter of time. He didn't have an explanation ready so he hoped that the news of Avery's baby would be enough to keep her from asking about it. He couldn't have that conversation. Not right now.
.Angelo texted his tías first since that had less potential to backfire on him. Felisa had already gone but Miguel, Jorge, and Mateo wanted to see the baby too. She agreed that she could visit on a different day since there were other people who would want to go first.
Domenica and Beatriz also wanted to see the baby but agreed that they could wait too since Christian's family would likely want to go first and only so many people could be in the room at once. That was awfully thoughtful of them.
Taking a deep breath, Angelo sent the message to Vanessa next. 'Hey, just thought you should know both mom and baby are doing well and feeling up for visits now'
She was at work so she didn't get back to him until her lunch break. 'Oh good! I'll have to pop by after work. Want to go with me?'
Did he? Yes. But did he see this potentially going badly? Also yes.
'I already went today so I'll have to take a raincheck. Maybe we can go together once they're home'
That would buy him a little more time. He still had no idea what he would even say to her. He knew what he wanted but also knew that the timing was terrible. He was too much of a wreck right now to get involved with anyone. Let alone someone he actually cared about.
'That works' Vanessa replied.
Angelo sighed and put his phone back in his pocket after checking that the coast was clear. He had work to do. He really shouldn't be letting his mind wander like this.
After work he went over to Leah's new apartment. She had stopped staying at Avery's place as soon as the coast was clear and she and her children weren't in danger anymore. Zack and Sydney were very happy about that but still struggling to adjust to normal life again after being locked up for so long.
They weren't behind in school because of all the time their mom spent teaching them from online curriculum but they were still having trouble adjusting socially. She confided the other day that she had them in therapy.
The kids were happy to see him as usual because they recognized him as someone who came bearing gifts. He didn't have anything for them this time though and they were disappointed.
Leah mussed both of their hair simultaneously. "Come on, guys, that's no way to act. Say sorry to Angelo."
"Sorry, Angelo," they chorused glumly.
Angelo actually felt a little bad. He shouldn't have forgotten that this time just because his mind was full of other thoughts right now.
"It's fine. I'll bring you guys something next time."
"You really don't have to," Leah told him. "You're going to spoil them."
"Don't worry about it. They've had it rough. Bringing candy is the least I can do. It slipped my mind because I was at the hospital this morning. Avery had her baby," Angelo explained.
"Oh, how exciting! Are they doing well? I still need to send her a gift since I wasn't able to make it to the baby shower."
"They're both great. Bailey is super tiny but Avery claims that babies are just big in my family."
Leah laughed. "How would she know that?"
Right. She wasn't aware of how Angelo and Avery knew each other. Only that they were working together. They didn't really talk about personal things since his association with Leah was purely business.
"We were raised together. She's basically my sister," he explained.
"Oh! I didn't realize. How long have you two known each other then? She teases you a lot but I thought that was just how she was."
"I've known her since she was born. Our dads were best friends and we saw each other pretty much every day once we got old enough to play together. Her dad didn't have any other family so mine kind of adopted them both."
Leah smiled. "That's sweet. She's very lucky to have you."
Was she though? Was she really? Because lately it seemed like all he did was worry her.
Angelo changed the subject. "Anyway, what do you have today? I know you were concerned about the Hunsacher Inc. board meeting that's happening next week. But I did some research; they can't do anything about holdings that aren't directly connected to the company. You have the power here."
They had already done a lot since the arrest but it didn't feel like nearly enough. At the very least they had been able to reduce insulin prices and begin fixing the broken healthcare system Nolan Hunsacher had exploited.
It was an awful lot of paperwork and there were still miles to go but they took care of some of the most pressing issues first. They had a lot of other things to do like shut down any additional sweatshops they hadn't been aware of before and make the factories safer to work in overall.
There were a lot of people in on this but Angelo had taken point because he was able to meet with Leah in person and the rest of their network was out of state. They offered their ideas in chat groups and video conferences though when possible.
It had always been difficult scheduling things like that over different time zones. He had gotten used to having people show up when they could and catch up when they couldn't.
Angelo was no businessman and Leah was no businesswoman but they had done a lot of research into all of this and were doing their best. So was everyone else from their network. The only people he hadn't bothered involving were Avery and Christian because he felt they had done enough.
She had done her job. Now it was time for her to focus on her family.
He wouldn't be able to do the same until this was taken care of. Yet another reason not to get involved with Vanessa.
Though he couldn't deny that his mind wandered throughout the planning meeting to what she might be doing right now. Her reaction to Bailey was probably a sight to behold. She was about as enthusiastic about things as Avery. There was a reason they got along so well.
"Angelo? Are you alright?"
Leah's voice broke through his thoughts and he realized he had been spacing out. "Sorry. I was just thinking about what might be going on at the hospital right now."
"Do you want to do this another time? The meeting isn't for another five days."
"It's fine. I'll refocus," Angelo reassured her.
And he did with much difficulty. Why was his head up in the clouds? He knew why getting involved with Vanessa was a terrible idea! He knew she deserved better. That she could have anyone she wanted if she really tried.
She would forget about him sooner or later and things would go back to how they had always been. They would be nothing more than Avery's friends who happened to see each other a lot because of her.
With how slowly things were going it was likely Vanessa would be in a relationship before Angelo managed to undo the damage Nolan Hunsacher had done to the infrastructure of this country. He had no idea how long it would take and didn't want to take any unnecessary risks.
Vanessa deserved better. He knew she did. So why was he even still thinking about this?
At the end of the meeting he took the subway home and checked Facebook. He saw that Avery had finally posted pictures of her little family and was sure to give it a heart react. But he also saw that Vanessa posted a picture of herself holding Bailey and felt his heart clench.
She was smiling so happily. Carefree. So how could he burden her by getting more involved in her life when he had nothing to offer?
She wouldn't be happy with someone like him long-term. He was sure of it.
Getting involved more than he already had would ruin the good thing they had going. When any potential relationship inevitably went south he would never be able to show his face at get togethers Avery was in charge of again. That was too horrible even to think about. Why didn't Vanessa get that?