Husband of the Goblin Tribe

Chapter Fifty-five – In which Button needs to pee, gets lost on the way back, and learns at the end that she is a mushroom-goblin just like Truffle.

~~** Interlude | Button **~~

While Truffle slept, Button was feeling tired from sleeping, and felt the need to pee. This was because, of course, she had drank lots from her mother’s milkies. Deciding that she’d probably get in more trouble for peeing in the cave-hole than going to the shit-pit to do it there, she reluctantly got up and plucked a fresh mushroom, slobbering all over it while she left her cave-hole and walked the cave to the shit-pit that she was sure she knew the way to.

Now, as the daughter of a very lazy goblin, Button was naturally too lazy to squat down to go as most goblins do, and having seen Vera let pee fly while standing up, decided that was a perfectly good method for her to copy. The only problem was that she forgot to move her loincloth to the side before she did, so she ended up getting it wet with pee.

This only made her grumble. Why did she have to wear it all the time? It only got in the way!

So, not one for wanting to wear a loincloth that smelled stinky like pee, she took it off and left it there on the floor of the shit-pit.

Walking out of the shit-pit, Button realized she had no idea in which direction the cave-hole she lived was. So she walked around and peeked into many different cave-holes that she came across, sometimes seeing goblins who were not Truffle or Ivory, and sometimes seeing empty cave-holes that didn’t look as big as hers.

Eventually, after walking long enough to get tired, she came across one cave-hole that was big. Really big. And there was someone lying down on the floor inside of it. Button was sure she knew this goblin, but couldn’t remember why. She walked over to the goblin and as there was a mushroom growing between the goblin’s legs, she was sure they had to be a good person.

Anyone that likes mushrooms enough to stick one to their body, was someone that had to know Truffle.

Button wondered if this was one of the strange mushrooms Truffle was always telling her not to put in her mouth without showing her first. Button still had to learn all the ways how a goblin can tell good mushrooms apart from bad mushrooms. When she got closer to the goblin, they turned their head in order to stare at her.

“Button? Is… you?”

Button knew her name. If this goblin also knew her name, then it was definitely a safe goblin. She wasn’t sure what to say, so she just pulled the mushroom she was sucking on out of her mouth and offered it to them to be friendly. She had plenty more mushrooms in her cave-hole.

“For me?” the goblin asked.

Button nodded.

The goblin twirled the mushroom between fingers that weren’t sharp for a little bit before handing it back to her.

“Not… hungry… Mushroom. Sit next… me…?”

Button couldn’t understand all the words this goblin said, but she had walked around goblin-home a bit more than she expected to in order to go pee and not get in trouble. Sitting down sounded like a good idea, so she did, right on the side of the goblin and let her body fall onto their chest, sucking on her mushroom cap as she stared right at them.

The goblin reached up and stroked her head in a good way, and it reminded her of Truffle. The goblin’s body was warm like Truffle’s, and that only made her feel more lazy and tired. Button let the mushroom fall from her lips and onto the goblin’s body.

“Sleeping?” Button asked it, curious.

“I… digging… cave-hole… have to… make… big”

She looked up and saw that the cave-hole she was in was definitely bigger than the one she slept in with Truffle and Ivory.

“Why make big?”

“Not… know.” The goblin answered.

There were a lot of things that Button didn’t know why she had to do either. Except peeing. If she peed in her cave-hole, she got spanked. Maybe this goblin was like that too? Always being told to do something by a bigger goblin and getting spanked if they didn’t. Button was enjoying how the hand of this goblin rubbing her head made her feel warm.

“Know Truffle?” Button asked.

Button only knew a few goblins by name so far: Berry, Ivory, Truffle, Lily, and her three other sisters; Diana, Orchid, and Lilac. She had heard other names, but had never seen them and had promptly forgotten about them. But there was one name she remembered, since all goblins talked about them all the time. A goblin called Husband.

“I do… special goblin… made you.”

This person thought Truffle was a special goblin for making Button? Button didn’t really think Truffle was all that special, except for her milkies, but Ivory also thought the same thing about her mother. Well, her good lazy mother. Button didn’t really care for her busy mother Ivory all that much. Ivory was always mean to her, making her do things.

The round finger of the goblin suddenly moved in front of her face in a strange series of turns and then touched the tip of her nose, while making a noise once it did: “Boop!”

“What do?”

“Button… cutest… strong one.”

“Button cutest?”

“Yes.”

“Know other goblins?”

“I do.”

“Know Husband?”

“I do.”

“Know Ivory?”

“I do.”

“Know Truffle?”

“Truffle… mother… I do.”

“Truffle says lost… find goblin… say take Truffle. Ivory… or Husband.”

“Button… are… lost?”

“Little. Button… want know.”

“What… want… know?”

“Why put mushroom there?”

Button pointed to the mysterious mushroom the goblin had between its legs.

“...special mushroom… not… taste good… strong one.”

Button lost any interest in a mushroom that didn’t taste good.

“What goblin name?”

“Ark.”

“Me Button.” She said, forgetting already that this goblin knew who she was.

“Ark like mushroom?”

“Fire-mushrooms… yum.”

“Truffle like fire-mushroom. Button like too. Like meat more.”

“Bloody meat… fire-meat… which… Button like… more?”

“Button not eat fire-meat before. Eat bloody rabbit meat. Yum.”

The goblin named Ark sat up.

“Button… want me… take you… Truffle… cave-hole?”

Button nodded.

Ark stood up and then picked Button up, holding her close to their chest. It was warm and comfortable. Warm enough to want to pee again. But their milkies were really flat. It would be hard to drink from them, she thought. If it was too much work, she wasn’t interested in doing it.

This goblin held a stone that glowed a brownish-orange light that moved with them. Button wondered why it was glowing. She had seen a few stones, but none of them ever glowed! The caves moved around her as Ark carried her through goblin-home, and she was soon in a cave-hole that looked familiar.

It was her cave-hole.

“Truffle… here?” Ark said, and with no answer, she was carried from her room to Ivory’s room where she was missing, too.

“...where… Truffle… Ivory…?”

Button wondered if Truffle and Ivory also got a little lost.

Button would have said something if she knew. Usually Ivory was in her cave-hole making things with bones, and Truffle was either asleep or looking at mushrooms. Button was always bored in her cave-hole. Ark put her down for a moment and was putting bones all over the ground at the front of her cave-hole.

“No see Truffle. No see Ivory. Ark take me see Husband?”

“Hmm. Okay.” Ark agreed before scooping her up again.

Ark carried her through goblin-home until they entered another really big room. She had been here before with Truffle. She would often sit on Truffle when they went in the big-water. Sometimes her sisters Diana, Orchid, and Lilac would be in the big-water with their mothers, Berry and Lily.

“Husband here?” Button, again asked, full of curiosity.

“Yes… Husband… cave-hole.” Ark said, then put her down again, but over by the big-water.

“Button want… go in… poke water!”

Button always had fun when she got to play in the big-water.

“Button likes big-water.”

“Me too.”

Button went into the big water with Ark. Sitting on their lap, enjoying poking her finger into the water and watching it go underneath was really interesting to her. Ark had moved their hand under the water in front of her and began spinning a finger, causing the water to spin in a certain place and make a spinny-hole. Button wondered how to do it. When she put her hand over the hole to cover it up, it disappeared and the water went flat again.

“Do! Again!”

Ark spun their finger under the water once more and the spinny-hole reappeared in the water. This time Button poked her finger carefully into it instead of covering it up with her hand. It was fun to just watch the water spin.

“Husband! Husband are you here!? We need you! Button has fallen into the shit-pit!”

Button knew that angry voice. It was Ivory.

Ark called out to her other mother. “Over here, Ivory.”

All of a sudden Ivory was standing in the big-water, in front of Button and Ark. Her leg got in the way and made the spinny-hole go flat again. Button was sad. All of a sudden Button found herself being yanked from Ark’s lap and into a hug by Ivory. Button would have enjoyed some milkies, but Ivory’s milkies didn’t work.

“She… cave-hole… was… in. Went… cave-hole… was empty.”

“I went to check up on Truffle and Button but saw she was missing. I shook Truffle awake to help her search, and we found her loincloth in the shit-pit!”

Button didn’t know why Ivory was yelling. Button was right here.

“Ivory. The cave-hole was empty,” Button pointed at Ark, “Asked Ark to bring Button where Husband at.”

Button looked at Ivory and she had the same look as when she used her knife on the bones.

“Button. This is Husband.”

Button’s eyes opened wide. She looked at Ark and they were smiling, waving a hand at her.

“Hello… cute… Button.”

“You tricked me! Why didn’t say you were Husband!” Button squealed.

The goblin who called themself Ark, who Button learned just now was actually Husband, was laughing at her! Button was really upset. Husband Ark was a mean goblin tricking her!

“Stupid! Tricky!” She yelled at Ark.

Button got a finger-flick to the forehead from Ivory.

“Who is stupid!? You left your loincloth in the shit-pit! Button tricked Ivory and Truffle, making us think you fell in shit-pit!”

“Button isn’t stupid! Button didn’t fall in!” Button yelled back. “It wasn’t a trick! Button’s loincloth got wet when going pee! It was wet and stinky! So Button took it off!”

Whap!

Button felt a stinging on her butt and cried out from Ivory spanking her.

“GWEEEE HHEEEEE HEEEEE!!!”

Ivory and Husband Ark were talking again for a little bit while Button cried. Ivory had taken Button out of the big-water and brought her back to her cave-hole. Truffle was waiting there and she was taken out of Ivory’s arms and squished into Truffle’s chest. Thankfully these milkies worked.

Button at least liked Truffle more than any other goblin, since she didn’t get spanked by her mother nearly as often. She also felt like she understood why Truffle always slept and only looked at mushrooms. Doing anything other than that always became more trouble than it was worth. Why couldn’t it just be Truffle and Button who lived together?

Stupid Ivory!

And as for that tricky Husband Ark…

She wanted to get him back for tricking her. But she also wanted to learn how to make the big-water spinny-holes. Maybe Truffle would take her to see Husband Ark sometime soon so she could. She didn’t want Ivory to come at that time.

Button decided to talk to her sister Diana again. Diana got her own cave-hole already, so maybe Diana would let Button stay in her cave hole for a while? Button didn’t really want to sleep all day and only look at mushrooms like Truffle did. There were many interesting things to see around goblin-home.

That meant there had to be something fun she could do… but she decided to figure it out what that could be later. Right now her butt was sore from being spanked, and she just wanted to go back to sleep. At least Ivory left her alone when she was asleep, or pretending to be.

While sitting in Truffle’s lap, enjoying milkies, Button stopped sucking long enough to ask a question.

“Truffle. Why does Husband Ark have a special mushroom growing between legs?”

“That’s because it’s a goblin growing mushroom. Do you remember listening to me tell you how mushrooms make many more mushrooms?”

“Mushrooms… get big. Then go poof and make mushroom seeds. More mushrooms grow in dirt later.”

“That’s right. Truffle get Husband’s special big mushroom seeds and make goblin with it. That goblin is you, Button.”

“...?”

Button was now beyond confused.

“Button is a mushroom goblin?”

“Just like Truffle.”

Button would learn later that while Truffle is a lazy goblin who likes mushrooms and sleeps too much, she’s also a goblin that has fun playing tricks on other goblins when she has nothing better to do.

After all, Truffle had lots of fun tricking Husband with her color-spin-think powder. The only thing better than wasting seed with Husband, is when color-spin-think powder made Husband look like a giant tasty mushroom while she did!