Fight the Landlord, Fall in Love

Chapter 6 - He’s My Old Uncle

“What happened after?”

A weekend later, Xie Zhuo and Sun Zinan were sitting at the bar counter, a cup of goji berry tea placed in front of each person. They chatted idly in the spring breeze.

“Nothing happened after, what did you want to happen?” Sun Zinan said, “With Tang Kai’s prudishness, after his fake decency has been exposed, he doesn’t have the face to look for me.”

Xie Zhuo looked at him doubtfully. “Really? How come your expression looks so elated? Looks like you like this prudishness a lot.”

Sun Zinan denied vehemently, “No, I don’t.”

Xie Zhuo had been his friend for many years and completely understood Sun Zinan’s personality. This guy had been acting mature since childhood, and became even more cautious in his behavior after becoming an adult. He almost never did anything improper. He was especially tolerant towards the ‘heretical’ yet favored those who were both mature and intelligent but could keep their own innate independence.

Listening to Sun Zinan’s ambiguous words, Xie Zhuo realized something—he had teased Tang Kai so much the other day. If he didn’t think the other party was cute, why would he engage in such familiar teasing? But Sun Zinan himself hadn’t realized it.

“Have you guys contacted each other?” Xie Zhuo unrestrainedly chugged away half his goji berry tea. “Didn’t you guys add each other on WeChat?”

The WeChat had been added, but Sun Zinan didn’t like posting to his moments. Tang Kai’s moments were completely composed of academic articles and conference notices, so Sun Zinan hadn’t had the patience to look through all of them.

Xie Zhuo felt pity for him. “If you don’t follow his moments, then do you guys chat?”

Sun Zinan opened up his chatroom to show him. The most recent record was from last night, at one thirty in the morning. Tang Kai had sent Sun Zinan the message ‘started off with four bombs in hand, how to lose [Web Link],’ and Sun Zinan’s reply was ‘sorry, can do whatever I want with good cards [Web Link].’

Xie Zhuo, “...”

Bloodily battling until daybreak—this was probably the friendship of men.

“So flirty.” Xie Zhuo shook his head as he sighed. “You guys match each other like a pot lid to a pot. I think he’s the one, stop struggling.”

It was unclear what Sun Zinan was thinking about as his mind dazedly wandered off. “Let’s just take this one step at a time.”

Xie Zhuo could clearly notice that his mood had suddenly dropped, which was a little strange, but he didn’t show any reaction to the change due to his well-versed understanding of Sun Zinan. He rolled his eyes and said, “Anyways we all know each other. I’ll hold a meetup sometime and create an opportunity for you two to interact for a while. I’ll guard for you so we can see if it’s a good match or not.”

Sun Zinan raised his brows, but before he could say anything, Xie Zhuo said hurriedly, “I know your rules. I won’t play tricks to test him out. Anyways he’s my old uncle, I can’t do that to him. It’s just a meetup with friends, don’t worry. You just have to show up on time. Then it’s settled!”

“All right.” Sun Zinan waved his hand, not taking the arrangements too seriously. “Tang Kai isn’t in our league, so don’t bring any weird people.”

“What are you saying, old aunt,” Xie Zhuo said in a delicate and coquettish voice, “Am I that kind of person?”

Sun Zinan fled from his niece in disgust.

On the way back, he sent a text to Tang Kai: &#k2018;Professor Tang, are you free tomorrow?’

Tang Kai’s reply was very fast. &#k2018;I am.’

He responded to whatever he asked, but didn’t ask what he wanted to do. Sun Zinan found that very interesting, and deleted the message he had already typed out, changing it to: &#k2018;I want to treat you to a meal, will you come? It won’t take up too much of your time.’

The Tang Kai who was reading a paper in his study clutched his phone tightly, frowning and pursing his lips as he wavered back and forth before finally replying dryly, ‘Sure.’

The ‘currently typing’ notification showed up from Sun Zinan, and a response came after a while: ‘Okay, I’ll send you the time and place later. It’s a little far from your house. Can I pick you up on the way?’

Tang Kai’s brain subconsciously projected the image from that night, the man’s gentle and playful tone under the warm, cascading light, saying, “It’s not good to be picky with your food, but your contradictions are very cute.”

Through the text on the phone screen, he could imagine Sun Zinan’s tone when he said that, his voice thoughtful and courteous. It was difficult to imagine that he was the type of easily-amused man who would throw rotten tomatoes in games. He insisted on competing with him in Fight the Landlord every night.

It was even more difficult to imagine that he actually followed along with this dumb man.

Tang Kai’s parents had always given him a lot of freedom; they would give him advice during the major turning points of his life, but never forced him to do anything. This blind date was also because Tang Zhenhua had noticed his son was almost thirty but still single. He gave him this opportunity, but Tang Kai’s parents still respected his decision on whether he wanted to marry and start a family or remain single for the rest of his life.

Tang Kai was actually very clear with himself that the generous atmosphere of his family had put him in an ivory tower, protecting him from much of the world’s trials and tribulations. He had never been tempered by the furnace of society, so it wasn’t an exaggeration to say he ‘didn’t know the suffering of the people.’ This coddled life was good for his scientific research, but not his private affairs. His interpersonal relationships were simple and pure; his friends were in the same profession, and although he was very involved in his teaching, he kept an appropriate distance from his students. He basically had no other social interactions.

It wasn’t as if no one had ever tried to pluck this flower, but they had all failed in the end. Dating him might not even be better than dating paramecium. Professor Tang didn’t know how to cook and ate his daily three meals at the school cafeteria. The housework was left to a housekeeper—he spent very little time at home and sometimes stayed overnight in the lab. What was the point of looking like a heavenly immortal if this kind of man couldn’t even take care of himself? Could his face feed anyone?

To say it a little more harshly, if his research tools and lover both fell into the water, it wasn’t clear which he would save first.

The fact that Sun Zinan continued to want to go on dates with him was a bit of a mystery to Tang Kai.

No matter how he looked at it, he was not Sun Zinan’s type. But on second thought, he wasn’t actually sure if he was his type or not, because he hadn’t even figured out what kind of person Sun Zinan was.

He texted back, ‘okay.’

The mood of the second meeting was noticeably better; the warm spring weather had reached its peak liveliness. One of them wore a white shirt, the other blue, and the two of them looked great together. Sun Zinan was wearing a pair of sunglasses. He drove Tang Kai to a home-style cuisine restaurant hidden within a Siheyuan.

This place specialized in Guanfu cuisine that had been passed down through generations and only took reservations. They only served three tables a day, making the dining experience even more private than booking a private room. There was an antique verandah railing outside. In the midst of the parterre there was a crabapple tree, the drifting blossoms like a blushing rainfall. From time to time, butterflies perched by the windows and birds chirped. The scenery was beautiful to the point of enchanting.

Sun Zinan didn’t eat very much. He drank tea and ate as he leisurely chatted with Tang Kai.

“How is it? Do you like the food this time?”

Even though Tang Kai ate cafeteria food every day, his taste buds were not dead. This table of expensive and exquisite dishes definitely pleased his palate, but for some reason everything around him, including Sun Zinan’s arrangements, gave him a sense of ‘pretentiousness.’ He already thought he was bad enough at realistic living habits, but Sun Zinan was even worse.

A jade plate full of delicacies was obviously excellent, but he would rather eat a smokey, fire-filled homely meal with Sun Zinan.

“It’s very good,” Tang Kai said. “You’re too generous.”

Sun Zinan smiled as he shook his head, rejecting his words. He raised the teapot to pour him a cup of tea.

Tang Kai thanked him and accepted the cup, but didn’t drink. He went straight to the point. “Mr. Sun, you specifically made an appointment. Is there anything you have to say to me?”

Although he was ignorant of many worldly matters, he was still naturally a sensitive person. Sun Zinan stared at him deeply, and an idea suddenly sprang up—

The ferociousness of this guy from the first meeting was definitely an act.

“En,” he replied candidly. “I wanted to confirm something with you. Professor Tang, do you think we’re suitable for marriage?”

Tang Kai misunderstood his meaning, and quickly asked, “You’re not satisfied with me?”

Sun Zinan blanked, then waved his hand and smiled. “That’s not what I mean. I wanted to ask if you were satisfied with me and if you wanted to get married.”

Tang Kai was quite stunned, and almost thought he had heard wrong, or that Sun Zinan was joking.

In his understanding of common sense, marriage shouldn’t be decided in such a hasty and thoughtless manner.

If Professor Tang had read through his PhD students’ Kindles and tapped on the ‘first marriage then love’ genre, he would have discovered many love stories based on all sorts of legal and illegal contracts. The classic events in those stories would have prepared him for the scene he was about to face.

He asked in confusion, “Are you in a hurry to get married?”

“The marriage license is just a formality, so it’s not urgent.” Sun Zinan continued, “But I want to define the relationship as soon as possible.”

Tang Kai, “Why?”

Sun Zinan glanced at him, and an element of surprise could not be hidden from the depths of his eyes. He didn’t wait for Tang Kai to understand and said, “Professor Tang, although I don’t know why you went on a blind date, our goals are the same. We should both be aiming to get married and start a family, right?”

Tang Kai nodded.

“That’s right.” Sun Zinan leaned against the back of his chair and said mildly, “My father requested that I marry you, or else I won’t get a single cent of his inheritance.”

Tang Kai, “...”

“So, if you think I’m a suitable match and don’t want to date anyone else, then I hope we can upgrade our relationship status.” He thought for a moment before adding, “At least to prospective fiancé.”

Tang Kai asked incredulously, “You...want to get married for your inheritance?”

Sun Zinan generously asked back, “What else would it be for?”

He didn’t miss the ‘I just ate rat poison’ expression on Tang Kai’s face, and said with some amusement, “Think about it—my shabby little company only sells health products. If I didn’t rely on my family, how could we eat at this kind of restaurant today? I would only be able to treat you to a bowl of 20 yuan Malatang.”

Tang Kai remained silent for a long time. It was so long that Sun Zinan began thinking he had been moved by this copper-smelling proposal, when Tang Kai suddenly said, “It doesn’t matter.”

Sun Zinan, “En?”

“If I like someone, it doesn’t matter if I can only eat instant noodles with him,” Tang Kai said solemnly. “But I won’t accept using marriage as a tool for achieving goals, because the feelings of humanity can never be given a price.”

Huh, he even mentioned ‘humanity.’

Sun Zinan’s expression slowly sank. “Professor Tang, I appreciate your romantic idealism, but I am a very realistic person.”

It happened as expected.

The tenderness and affection from earlier evaporated like dew in the sunlight, dissipating with the wind, like waking up too quickly from a dream.

The world had long since began facing reality, accepting reality, and becoming a part of reality. It was only Tang Kai who kept stepping forward, not following the rules, but also not knowing how to compromise.

The man was almost thirty but still too naive, which was why he couldn’t find a partner.

“That’s why the throne and wealth you are inheriting has nothing to do with me.” Tang Kai stood up, strongly repressing his disappointment and only coldly saying, “My apologies, Mr. Sun, I’m not the person you’re looking for.”