Chapter 77:
"Yo, not long ago I paid you back, and now there's a quarrel."
Tang Ke looked at Jiang Xu Zhile, gloated and joked: "Hey, I heard that Li Yalei has bought four or five suites in City A now, and Huo Chengchun seems to be planning to return to China. Why don't you contact them? They just happen to be rich. If one comes back from abroad, if he says he can’t, he can negotiate the price with Dr. Kenn for you and charge less money.”
Jiang Xu leaned on Tang Ke's sofa and rubbed his waist. His coat was open, revealing the black turtleneck sweater inside, which clearly outlined the outline of his pregnant belly.
I don't know why, Xiaoxiao has been a little irritable these two days, always jumping up and down, he put his hands on his stomach to comfort her, and said to Tang Ke: "You have a big heart."
"I can't be bothered. You've come to me every few days. I have to adjust my mood so that you can come to me at any time."
Tang Ke sat next to Jiang Xu with one leg bent, "Do you know Jiang Xu, at that time Li Yalei and Huo Chengchun sent cakes and milk tea to the whole class in order to hide Shen Fangyu from Shen Fangyu, please keep our mouths shut in front of Shen Fangyu."
"There should be only two people in our class who didn't receive instructions. One is Shen Fangyu himself, and the other is you." Tang Ke couldn't help but jokingly said, "I guess they never thought that you sold them out in front of Shen Fangyu in the end."
The more he said, the more emotional he became, "It's all fate."
Jiang Xu: "..."
These two rich second generations really have money and nowhere to spend it.
He buttoned his coat and pinched his eyebrows.
"But Jiang Xu..." Tang Ke squinted at him, put away his smile, and said seriously, "Let me ask you, do you really believe in Shen Fangyu?"
Jiang Xu's fingertips snapped.
He knew what Tang Ke was questioning.
In the past, when he and Shen Fangyu were not in love, Shen Fangyu could indeed agree to operate on him without any burden in his heart. But now, as a lover, the psychological pressure that Shen Fangyu has to face on the operating table may be unimaginable to others.
Whether it was when he was studying at A Medical University or when he was working in Jihua, Jiang Xu encountered many cases where the family members of doctors needed surgery.
But the vast majority of doctors will not personally perform surgery on their loved ones.
Because of too much pressure, it is difficult to go under the knife, and it is easy to be calm enough to make wrong judgments.
This is the nature and normality of human beings that are difficult to overcome and resist.
Doctors are one of the most unreasonable professions.
So his teacher told him not to perform surgery for family members unless it is absolutely necessary.
But when this "last resort" really comes, every doctor who has the courage to decide to perform the operation and successfully completes the operation is considered to be a complete teacher.
Because this means that he has really thoroughly understood all the qualities and skills required by the profession of a doctor, and engraved them into his blood.
He is quite sure of his skills, and he is confident enough and calm enough to stand on the operating table, even going against the objective rationality of human nature.
During Jiang Xu's long school career, he met many doctors, including colleagues and teachers, but he only met two such doctors.
One removed the cancerous liver for his mother, and the other removed the cancerous **** for his wife.
In Jiang Xu's memory, most of the time, it was the director who was shaking his hands and couldn't cut the knife and asked for a replacement, and the teacher who couldn't even enter the operating room.
Out of a comprehensive analysis of those examples, Jiang Xu thought that he should not trust Shen Fangyu.
But as far as this operation was concerned, apart from Shen Fangyu, Jiang Xu couldn't find anyone he could trust more.
Albert made it very clear that whether there will be any problems with the operation has a lot to do with the patient's condition. If Kenn does it for him, it may not be better than Shen Fangyu.
What's more, Kenn suddenly opened his mouth to increase the price. Greed is one aspect, and another aspect... It's hard for Jiang Xu not to doubt whether he really has the confidence to perform this operation.
After watching Albert's live broadcast, Kenn must also know that there is an element of luck in his success.
Now that Kenn is famous, there is really no need for him to embarrass patients because of this operation fee. If he can continue to do another successful surgery, even if it is a free surgery, it will be of no harm to him, and it will further increase his worth. A rising tide lifts all boats.
And he asked for a high surgical fee, so it was difficult for people not to suspect that he was trying to drive away people who came to seek medical treatment, or to leave a way for him to perform a surgery that might go wrong.
Kenn is held so high now, with so much honor and praise, he is more afraid of climbing and falling than anyone else.
When Shen Fangyu performed surgery on him, he might have a lot of worries because of their relationship, but when Kenn performed surgery on him, he also had inner demons worried about damage to his reputation.
But apart from these two people, Jiang Xu could no longer find a third person.
Before Albert's failure, there might be some colleagues willing to give it a try, but now, Jiang Xu thought, except for Shen Fangyu, probably no one would be willing to take this risk.
Right now is more of a "last resort" than a "last resort".
Moreover, taking a step back, after completely ignoring all the above-mentioned rational thinking, Jiang Xu has always trusted Shen Fangyu emotionally.
Probably partly because they have competed for more than ten years, and no one knows Shen Fangyu's professional level and crisis response ability better than his competitor.
And another part is because, that is his lover.
Emotionally, he would trust his lover unconditionally. As long as Shen Fangyu didn't think he couldn't do it, he believed that Shen Fangyu would definitely be able to do it.
Even if something happens, they will bear the consequences together.
So in the end, his answer to Tang Ke was, "As long as he dares to do it, I will let him do it."
Tang Ke was silent for a long time, then nodded, and said to him: "Since you trust him, then you can give him a little more time, Shen Fangyu is not such a fragile person, maybe one day he will figure it out."
"After much deliberation, he came to the conclusion that I don't love him," Jiang Xu sighed lightly, "and even sold the house."
"Jiang Xu, you have to remember one word, caring will cause chaos." Tang Ke said: "If he cares, he will cause chaos, and you will also care about chaos. You feel sorry for him, but it makes him panic."
"Actually, you two have a bit of a similar temper. You are like this when you are studying. The more you can't make something, you have to make it. That's why the two of you can roll."
"I know you said to go to Kenn because you cared about him, but what kind of character is Shen Fangyu?" He commented, "No matter how humble you appear on the surface, you are still arrogant in your bones, otherwise you wouldn't have been arguing with you for so many years."
"Shen Fangyu just can't get over the hurdle in his heart at the moment. If you don't say that to stimulate him, maybe he will figure it out and get over it after a while. If you say that, he must feel that you gave him If you deny it, you don’t believe him anymore.”
"He's anxious and you're also anxious, so it's just a mess. The house... if it's sold, it's sold, and it's used to manage money to make money. Anyway, your family can't live in two houses now."
"Don't believe me, although I'm single now, it's not like I haven't talked about girlfriends before."
Tang Ke has the look of someone who has been here: "Love someone too much, it is easy to make people feel inferior, and he clearly promised you that you can have an operation, and now there is something wrong with his mentality, he must blame himself, and even more so. I don't feel good enough for you."
Tang Ke had gossiped with Jiang Xu many times about how the two of them got on, he said: "If I were Shen Fangyu, I would also think that you rejected me at first, and then beat Huang Bin because of me." , and walked the life-and-death line of chasing cars in country M, you agreed to me, is it because you were moved by me?"
"Then now that he thinks that he can't do anything for you, he will naturally worry about gains and losses." Tang Ke persuaded: "In love, since he thinks you don't love him that much, you should praise him more and praise him more. Make him feel that you really like him."
Jiang Xu obviously wasn't such an emotional person, it was a bit embarrassing for him to praise Shen Fangyu.
He lowered his eyelashes, avoided Tang Ke's suggestion, and said plainly: "I'm not moved."
"Of course I know that you are not moved because of emotion. How could Jiang Xu, who is so proud, agree to someone's pursuit because of emotion?" Tang Ke said, "I knew when you told me that you were together, that you really think highly of him." , really like him."
"But falling in love by yourself and watching others fall in love are two different things. There are frictions, misunderstandings, and personality conflicts. These all need to be experienced by yourself. Who can guarantee that you will never make mistakes? Otherwise, how to say it, you can maintain a relationship for a long time. Those who have an emotional relationship are capable people.”
After he finished speaking, he smiled self-deprecatingly, with a bit of distressed teasing, "If I was as clear-headed as I am chatting with you now when I was in love, I should have gotten married two years ago. Kong will be your emotional mentor?"
Tang Ke used to have a very good girlfriend, and Jiang Xu had met him many times, and they planned to be Tang Ke's best man at first, but they broke up suddenly.
According to Tang Ke, the girl's Ph.D. study was postponed by her supervisor, and the wedding date was delayed. The girl was anxious, and Tang Ke was busy earning money to buy a wedding house, ignoring her feelings. The greater the pressure, the more conflicts As it got deeper, the girl said, "Why don't you get married."
Obviously they were going to get married, but they broke up because of marriage.
During that time, Tang Ke stayed at Jiang Xu’s house almost every day and hugged him and cried. After crying, he would replay with Jiang Xu, breaking apart and crushing the months before he broke up with his girlfriend, hour by hour. Analyze what went wrong.
"Communication is more important than anything else." Tang Ke once again threw out the answer to that question in front of Jiang Xu.
After a while, he sighed, "You told me that."
Fans of the authorities.
When talking about love, it is easy to forget some of the most basic things.
Tang Ke felt that it was almost done after the enlightenment. He stood up and poured a glass of water, intending to moisten his throat, but before he swallowed the water, the doorbell suddenly rang.
Jiang Xu, who was thinking about it, was startled suddenly, looked over subconsciously, and then suddenly looked back.
Tang Ke glanced meaningfully across his face, then glanced through the surveillance screen at the door, and said to Jiang Xu: "The person you were waiting for is here."
"I didn't wait for him." Jiang Xu said.
"You didn't bring any luggage, so are you really planning to live with me?" Tang Ke smiled, and said without showing any face to his old friend: "Aren't you just waiting for him to come?"
Jiang Xu: "..."
"Hey, tell me," Tang Ke guessed, "He's not here to deliver your luggage."
Although rationally knowing that it shouldn't happen, Shen Fangyu has been really abnormal lately, which makes Jiang Xu also suspend inexplicably.
He watched Tang Ke open the door vigilantly, and was going to throw Shen Fangyu out with the suitcase if he really brought the suitcase over.
Fortunately, Shen Fangyu didn't carry the suitcase, but just carried a box of fruit for Tang Ke.
"Look at the house, you know how to bring gifts when you come to the door." Tang Ke accepted it with a smile, and pulled Jiang Xu up from the sofa like a peacemaker, "Go back, go back, I'm going to sleep."
Jiang Xu glanced at Shen Fangyu, who first avoided his gaze, then looked back after a while, and asked him in a low voice, "Go back? There are also fruits at home... apples and durians."
Tang Ke didn't know what charades he was playing with Jiang Xu, but it was obvious that after Shen Fangyu finished saying this, Jiang Xu suddenly took a few steps forward.
But he still has to say: "I don't eat durian."
Maybe it’s because I don’t know how to speak, or maybe it’s because there is always a buffer period before good communication. The way home was very quiet. Two young couples who had just had a conflict got out of the car and walked home side by side. No one said anything.
After a while, when entering the elevator, Jiang Xu suddenly stretched out his hand to hold Shen Fangyu.
Shen Fangyu, who was tensed all the way, couldn't hold back at that time, turned around and hugged him into his arms, his heart was sour and astringent even to the tip of his nose, as if he had been soaked in lemonade.
Later, the elevator stopped on the twelfth floor for a long time, and then automatically returned to the first floor.
The two didn't get out of the elevator until it climbed up to the twelfth floor for the second time.
"It's my fault," Shen Fangyu said, "I shouldn't have sold the house on my own without your consent. I'm sorry."
His chest was still hot, Jiang Xu opened the door, took a look at Shen Fangyu, "What did I tell you last time?"
Shen Fangyu was stunned for a moment, then changed his words with some hesitation: "I... love you."
"Can you say that again?"
"I love you." Shen Fangyu almost blurted out this time, as if instinctively, he looked at Jiang Xu's face and repeated: "I love you, Jiang Xu."
The two "I love you" were too sonorous and powerful, Jiang Xu's brain was stunned for a moment, but his unopened heart was unexpectedly opened.
He turned his head first, and after a while, he looked at him again, but the words that were pressed in his heart became smoother.
"You have been under a lot of pressure during this time, and I am worried about you."
"I'm a little confused," Shen Fangyu said, "I always have nightmares."
"I put sleeping pills in your cup." Jiang Xu confessed.
"I saw it last time," Shen Fangyu said, "It must be eaten."
"I'm not looking for Kenn," Jiang Xu said, "I just want you to relax."
"Then do you still trust me?" Shen Fangyu asked.
Jiang Xu was silent for a while, and suddenly took out a USB flash drive from his bag. He turned on the projector in the living room, inserted the USB flash drive, and brought up a PPT. The soothing music was romantic and lingering. Beside Shen Fangyu.
"This is what I wanted to show you on the day you came back from country M, but you rushed to confess your love before me, so I didn't let it go." He put his hand on Shen Fangyu's and looked up at the screen, " You can watch it now."
The darkened living room was extraordinarily quiet, and the projected light fell on the faces of the two people, making the outline of eyebrows and eyes extraordinarily clear.
Jiang Xu's PPT is very simple. It is the format he used to make reports. The pictures are accompanied by the date of each photo, and the source of the quotation is attached in the lower right corner.
It was a group photo of him and Shen Fangyu in the same frame from the age of eighteen to the present.
Some have many people, some have only two of them, most are from the school's official website, and some are downloaded from class groups and other websites.
The first one is the newspaper of the number one student in the college entrance examination in City B in the year of their college entrance examination. The 18-year-old boys have green faces, and they are arranged one on the left and one on the right on the newspaper, perfectly matching each other.
The second photo is the first class photo of the two at A Medical University after enrollment. All the students of the same eight-year clinical course are wearing army green training uniforms.
At that time, during military training, a pair of enemies who were forced to stand together because of similar heights smirked at the camera, their faces were heroic, but when they looked closely, they found that the arms they were touching were missing.
But Shen Fangyu remembered that until the moment the camera froze, he and Jiang Xu's disappearing hand were still fighting **** for tat behind their backs.
Then there was a group photo of the whole class wearing white coats for the first time to take the oath. The solemn oath of medical students was engraved on the dark stone tablet. The young students who put on white coats for the first time looked very energetic.
When Shen Fangyu saw that photo, he could remember that when Jiang Xu and his friends walked past him with a smile, the wind blew his white clothes, and the slim clothes outlined his figure well, stretched and slender .
It was Doctor Xiao Jiang who was eighteen years old and could not yet be called a doctor. Unexpectedly, after wearing a white coat for more than ten years, Shen Fangyu would still remember the first time he saw Jiang Xu wearing it.
The PPT continued to show, the freshman basketball game, the young men in the same color basketball uniforms were holding the trophy for the first place together, but tacitly turned their heads in front of the camera, unwilling to look at each other more.
The award-winning scene of the debate competition, the auditorium for awarding scholarships, and a group photo of volunteers from the Association for the Protection of Women's Rights and Interests.
After the ear picking ceremony at the graduation ceremony, two outstanding graduates were wearing red doctoral uniforms and stood next to the principal for a group photo, like newlyweds receiving blessings.
In the graduation photo that symbolizes the complete end of their school days, they still stand together because of their inseparable stalemate eight years ago.
After that, the boys on the PPT entered Jihua Hospital Affiliated to A Medical University, from resident physician to attending physician to deputy chief physician, again and again, always neatly arranged side by side on the physician introduction panel on the wall of the Department of Obstetrics and Gynecology superior.
In every photo, he has a bright smile, sunny, confident, like the sun at one o'clock in the afternoon.
Memory is really a mysterious thing. Many things you thought you had forgotten a long time ago, but at the moment you see the photos, you can think of sporadic fragments of that year.
I haven't missed any of the same frames for so many years, and I don't know how much time Jiang Xu spent collecting these photos everywhere.
Of all the photos, only two were not identified.
—Because it was taken by Jiang Xu himself.
One is a group photo of them sitting on the bay window of Jiang Xu's study.
And the other one is not a group photo.
The PPT projection interface, which was always full of people, suddenly thinned out, and there was only one person left on the screen.
Professor Shen at the Academic Salon was wearing a black suit with ease, dignified and suave.
Then the sound of the music ended slowly, and Jiang Xu's fingers covering his hand suddenly went down and were caught between his five fingers.
Before Shen Fangyu had time to look down at the two people's hands, the first line of words finally appeared on the PPT that had only been pictures.
"Shall I compare thee to summer's day?"
With a "boom", like a stone being thrown into a pond, Shen Fangyu's heart felt empty, followed by aftershocks that could not subside for a long time.
This is the second time Jiang Xu mentioned it, and he confessed before him.
Originally, he always thought it was just Jiang Xu's sense of competition, but he said it casually, until today, he finally believed that Jiang Xu was serious about liking him.
He would secretly take pictures of his high spirits.
He will say he is Xia Tian.
Jiang Xu is a very reserved person in terms of language, Shen Fangyu knows that this is the most loving confession he can give.
His heart became inexplicably sour, and the indescribable emotional frame hit his chest, making his eyelashes tremble slightly.
That sentence didn't stay on the PPT for too long, the screen went dark with the appearance of this sentence, but Jiang Xu's voice sounded in his ear, "Kenn is a very good doctor, but I believe in him, there will never be more trust you."
The wind is very close, and the curtains are very light.
Shen Fangyu was reflected in Jiang Xu's eyes. Before he kissed his lover, he softly answered Shen Fangyu's question before playing the PPT, "As long as you think you can do it, Xiaoxiao and I will trust you forever."
Love is a magical thing, it can make passive people become active, and it can also make ostentatious people feel inferior.
But in the end, a good relationship will definitely make the butterfly break out of the cocoon, make the phoenix nirvana, and make the people in it believe that I am the best.
Dr. Shen finally couldn't bear the emotions in his heart. In this long and affectionate kiss, he once again promised Jiang Xu: "I promise, I can."