Die. Respawn. Repeat.

Chapter 117: Book 2: Phase Shifts and You, (1)

"You've noticed by now that Firmament is layered," Gheraa says. "Imbuement stones are even labeled that way by the Interface—by its 'depth'. The deeper you sink into Firmament, the closer you get to its true nature."

"Mysterious," I say, raising an eyebrow. "This have anything to do with what I sensed earlier?"

Gheraa cocks his head, then leans in close to peer at me, his expression intrigued. "Depends, I suppose," he says. "What did you sense?"

I shrug. "When I was trying to imbue a Hunger stone, there was a kind of reaction from the Void Inspiration. It gave me the sense that there was something underneath the Firmament. I can't give it a name, exactly. It felt like intent. Or willpower."

Gheraa goes silent for a long moment, staring at me contemplatively. "That's... not what I was talking about, exactly," he says slowly. "But you're not the first one to sense something like that. It's never been verified. We can't really reproduce the effect reliably, so all we have are stories."

I frown. "Sounds like you guys haven't fully figured out Firmament, either. Aren't you made of the stuff?"

Gheraa gives me a withering look. "Do you want to learn about Firmament or not?"

"Carry on." I laugh.

"What you sensed is most likely a deeper layer than the ones that are relevant for phase-shifting," Gheraa says. "The deeper you connect with your Firmament, the more you can utilize it. A phase-shift is an encapsulation of that process—it allows you to access more of the energy contained within your Firmament, so you can do more with the same amount of it."

That explains why my skills have been getting easier to use. "But there's more to it than that, isn't there?" I ask. "I mean, I had to fight during my phase-shift."

"Yes." Gheraa considers me for a moment. "Think of each layer of Firmament as having a guardian that decides whether or not you're worthy of connecting to it. It's not a perfectly accurate metaphor—that's Integrator doctrine—but it's close enough. Every individual's Firmament is unique, but a lot of the lower layers are... unformed. Raw with potential. When you connect to a layer, you define what that layer of your Firmament is. The fight is something between a test and a calibration process. You're working to define a layer of your being."

There was that moment during my phase-shift when I had to answer a question. I remember the feeling of it, the question that it felt like I was being asked.

"For the first layer, you have to define who you are," Gheraa says. "You went through that, didn't you?"

"I sort of refused to answer, but yes," I say with a grimace. Gheraa tilts his head.

"If you actually refused to answer, you wouldn't have been able to complete your shift," he says. "But it does explain why the Interface detected abnormalities. You gave it an answer that didn't fit?"

"I said I was whatever I wanted to be," I say with a shrug. "I don't like the idea of being boxed in by a label."

"Ah." Gheraa places his hand on his chin. "That... is normally a second-layer answer. In the first layer, you define who you are now; in the second, you define who you want to be."

"I'd answer that question differently." It surprises me how easily the answer comes to me—it's not something I've ever thought about before. But the answer's pretty simple.

I want to be stronger. Strong enough to be kind.

I can't be kind or merciful when I'm fighting for my life. Even with the loops in play, there's a limit to what I can afford. Letting the assassins go free to get medical help would have cost me if they were to report to Whisper or Teluwat; even putting them into a cell was a questionable choice, though I had my reasons beyond just mercy.

But as long as I'm strong enough, it doesn't matter. And now I know I have an advantage that others don't. Temporal skills are unique to me, and if I play my cards right, they'll stay unique to me.

What's stronger than manipulating time?

"You would, would you?" Gheraa's gaze lingers on me for a long moment. Then he chuckles. "Yeah, that figures. You're a bit of an abnormality all the way through."

A slight pause. "I should apologize to you," he says suddenly.

"...Why?" I ask. He says it with enough grim certainty that I almost involuntarily tense up, readying for a fight; Gheraa winces slightly when he sees my reaction, but he doesn't move away.

"Because it's my fault you were chosen as a Trialgoer," he says. The words make a cold anger shoot through me briefly before I stamp down on it and wait to hear the rest of what he has to say. "The Interface profiles everyone that's going to be chosen for the Trials. It wouldn't have chosen you without a manual override."

"...So much for random choice, huh?" I say. I don't quite manage to keep the bitterness out of my voice, nor do I want to. "Why me?"

"You were a risk," Gheraa says. "Too much independence. Not enough traits that are easily manipulated. Most Trialgoers we choose are people that we can manipulate into working for us, or they're people who can work with us, even if they have their own goals."

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"I'm not that hard to manipulate," I snort. The anger is cooling a little—mostly because it seems he's chosen me specifically because he thinks I'll be a hindrance to the Intergator's plans. "I mean, I've been running around solving problems for other people."

"Because you think they're problems that need to be solved," Gheraa says. "But you don't ignore the bigger picture, nor do you follow blindly. Also, frankly, it's a lot easier to manipulate someone self-serving by bribing them than it is to set up some contrived scenario in which your kindness allows us to manipulate you."

I pause. "Fair enough, actually."

"I'm sorry," Gheraa says. "You wouldn't be involved with the Trials at all if it weren't for my intervention."

"It could've been worse."

Gheraa blinks at me. "What?"

"It could've been worse," I repeat. "You picked a Trial I can't possibly lose in unless I give up. You picked me for a reason I can respect. I've endured a lot of shit in these loops, but I've also met at least two people I would consider close friends. Three, if I count you, but honestly you're still on probation." I smile at Gheraa as I say this—it's meant half as a joke—but the Integrator seems genuinely stunned at my words. He takes a step back, then falters a little, falling back into a makeshift seat he forms out of his Firmament.

For a long time, neither of us say anything. And then Gheraa finds the words. "Thank you," he says. "I... wish the real me would hear that. Would you tell him?"

"We'll see," I say.

The more I think about it, the less I'm willing to let this version of Gheraa just fade away. He'd said something earlier about how he'd been able to pack memories into this version of himself—that means, theoretically, that memories can be contained in Firmament.

Maybe this version of Gheraa doesn't have to die.

"What did you have to teach me about Firmament?" I ask. "Besides the layer thing, I mean."

"Oh, right," Gheraa says, blinking a few times as though he isn't quite sure where he is. "What... I was talking about phase-shifts. First and second layer shifts. You're quite close to the second-layer shift."

"And there's more to it than that, isn't there?" I ask.

"The first layer is Deepening," Gheraa says. "It's exactly what it says—it deepens your Firmament. Sets how it's aligned and the aspects you're most compatible with. You've already defied expectations there by aligning yourself with multiple strong aspects instead of one."

I nod. I remember incorporating the Firmament from not only the crows but from the Interface itself into my shift—though I suspect Gheraa isn't aware of that part of it.

"The second layer is Consolidation," Gheraa continues. "Ahkelios was given the standard information packet on it, if you remember. He'll be able to guide you through it when the time comes. As I said, you choose who you want to be—and your Firmament will shape itself in a way that guides you toward that outcome."

"That's a little vague." I frown. "Is that why I have to give up skills for Consolidation?"

"Yes and no." Gheraa glances away briefly. "The information packet contains some minor lies to keep Trialgoers... weak. That's one of them. You don't actually have to give up any skills. But the more you do, the stronger your remaining skills will be."

"Sounds like a decent tradeoff to me," I say, although I can see how it might impact some Trialgoers differently, depending on the skills they've gained.

"It can be," Gheraa agrees. "But I'll give you a better way to—nevermind. We'll get to that.

"Back on topic, Consolidation will impact the skills the Interface will give you." Gheraa taps his fingers on his knee, eyeing me carefully. "More than that, it means that your Firmament will begin to hold the properties you established in the first layer. When you first begin to manipulate Firmament, it's all undifferentiated potential—powerful, yes, but also much harder to use. By the time you reach the second layer, your Firmament will begin to manifest properties directly associated with your first-layer attribute. Or attributes, in your case."

"How many layers are there in total?" I ask warily.

"Well, nine," Gheraa admitted. "But no one actually gets to the ninth layer. Most Integrators are at around the fifth or sixth layer. Trialgoers rarely progress beyond the third, and regular citizens, even the ones that can use Firmament, don't usually move beyond the second."

"Is there a way for me to figure out what layer someone's at?"

Gheraa studies me for a moment. "Not unless your ability to sense Firmament is a lot stronger than you've let on," he says. "Firmament layers aren't something that's easily sensed, usually. If you could sense those layers within someone, it would be fairly obvious—untouched layers are still raw and undifferentiated."

I've only been able to sense the layers in imbuement stones and in my own Firmament so far. I haven't tried to examine someone else's Firmament to that degree, mostly because it takes some meditation for me to be able to access my Firmament sense that deeply. I nod in thought.

"None of this is the big secret, is it?" I ask.

"No," Gheraa says. "Although most people aren't aware of the details of Firmament layers or phase-shifts. The big secret is that normally, progression between layers is difficult. You've noticed it yourself, right? Even your crow friends don't know exactly how to deepen their Firmament. They know it has something to do with crafting things, but they believe it's different for everyone."

"Isn't it?"

"It is and it isn't," Gheraa says with a shrug. "It's true that natural Firmament growth differs for every individual, for every species, and for every planet. There are degrees of differences in all three categories. But there are universal ways to push your connection with your Firmament forward."

I make a connection. "And one of those is the Interface."

"Correct," Gheraa says. He leans back and stares at me intently. "All growth within the Interface pushes you toward your next phase-shift. Every time you bank credits for a skill, for example. Or every time it offers you a reward or an achievement for something you've done. But growth within the Interface is slow—to the point where it can take decades to move down a single layer."

"I don't have decades," I say. "But you wouldn't be telling me this if you didn't have other ways to grow."

"Quite," Gheraa agrees, giving me a smile that's a little too smug for the situation we're in. I can see that it strains him. He gestures to the void around us again, and then more specifically toward a thread of Firmament I'm just starting to be able to sense. "Your little... assistant. His name's Ahkelios, right?"

"He's my friend," I say, my voice a little colder than I intend. Gheraa winces a bit, realizing his misstep, and swiftly adjusts.

"Your friend," he corrects himself. "He's been absorbing Remnants."

"He's been absorbing the monsters the Interface has been spawning, yes," I say. "The ones that resonate with him. What's the deal with that, anyway? Why are some of these monsters so obviously based on him?"