Beyond Chaos – A DiceRPG

652. Reasons To Kill IV

“So over the course of three years, you basically paid for a full Basic weapon, and you have to keep paying to still use a Basic weapon? Feels bad, right? Well, maybe three years pass, and… I could maybe update your weapon.” Adam spoke as though the Chief was the one buying a magical item from him. “You subscribed to this Basic weapon, Chief, because you couldn’t afford it. However, you spent those three years grinding hard, and now… now you’re stronger. Now, you’ve got more money.” Adam raised his brows. “Right?”

“Right?”

“So we have something called a trade in offer. You come back with the blade, the blade you paid, what? At least a thousand and two hundred gold? So basically, you paid off the weapon, but if you don’t keep paying, it just becomes a mundane weapon. Still, a Basic weapon doesn’t really work well for you, you need something better. You trade in the weapon that you paid for, basically full price, and we give you a discount on an upgraded version of the weapon.”

Iromin narrowed his eyes.

“You upgrade from a Basic weapon, to a Basic Enhanced, or a Great, weapon. Right? What are they, like three, four thousand gold? Well, you don’t have three or four thousand gold, but you brought in the weapon that you don’t need, right? I mean, it’s so silly to have two magical weapons you pay for. Well, that’s five hundred gold off the price. Let’s say it was four thousand originally, I think I used that before, so we’ll use four thousand for simplicity. Well, now the weapon is three thousand five hundred, but maybe you still can’t afford that. Well, normally, it’s two thousand and a monthly fee, but you traded in the weapon you don’t need, so it’s one thousand and five hundred with a monthly fee.”

‘…’

“You pay one thousand and five hundred, and look at that, the monthly payment is roughly the same, just a little more. You’ve rationalised the payment before, right? Well, now it’s for something even better, so you can spare an extra ten gold a month, an extra one hundred or so gold a year, no problem. Plus, now you’re earning even more, so it’s technically even cheaper than before.”

‘How did he come up with this?’

“So don’t you feel happy with a better weapon, and you even got a discount for returning the weapon you didn’t need any more! You leave a happy customer, and we’re happy you’re happy, but we’re even more happy, because now…” Adam held up Wraith, and then began to clean it using his sleeve. “We’ve got the weapon that you paid over a thousand gold for.” Adam checked Wraith, eyeing it up. “Needs a little elbow grease, but it’ll be as good as new, and it’ll be on the shelf. Would you look at that, a new customer, a brand new customer, who needs a Basic weapon. Well, we’ve got a Basic weapon, and what’s that? You want a subscription? No problem. We have this weapon, a wonderful weapon, that someone is paying full price for once more. Then, maybe in another three years, would you look at that? Someone’s come to return this weapon that has been bought and paid for twice.”

‘How terrifying!’

“Perhaps, a noble wants a really nice weapon. Legendary Enhanced. Obviously, who has the…” Adam thought about the price of such a weapon. “Fifty thousand gold? Let’s just say that’s the price for such a weapon, even if it isn’t. Perhaps, instead, they can afford ten thousand gold, and that’s about the price for a good Greater Enhanced blade, or might be expensive for that too? I don’t know. Anyway…”

‘How far is he willing to go?

“That noble buys a Greater Enhanced weapon for ten thousand. It’s got some extra fire damage, because that’s classic, right? Then, that noble, maybe he wants to show off to his friends. They have their own wizards with Identify, right? Well, before he lets them Identify it, he pays the one thousand gold for the month, and maybe, just maybe, there’s a Legendary bonus on the weapon. He pays another thousand gold? Well, maybe the extra fire damage the weapon does, maybe there’s a little bit more fire now.” Adam shrugged his shoulders, sipping more of his juice.

Iromin remained staring at Adam. “It is unreasonable to assume they will pay two thousand gold a month for such extra bonuses.”

“He might go to war to show off his weapon, and he doesn’t want to die, so he’ll keep paying a thousand gold each month, maybe even two thousand each month. There’s a lot of wars happening around the area. Maybe he goes out to hunt a powerful hydra? His kids will also fight in wars. His kids kids will fight in wars. Maybe it averages out to a thousand gold a year, but over the course of fifty years? A hundred? That’s a lot of money, Chief. Money from the Aldishmen that might find its way into the Iyr’s coffers, slowly bleeding them dry.”

‘…’ Iromin wasn’t even able to think. The words Adam had spoken to him, they should never have been uttered. “With such weapons, they would deal great damage to we Iyrmen.”

“Well, damn, isn’t it a shame that’s a breach of the contract they sign for the subscription, and so the weapon is no longer powered quite as well as it should be?” Adam shrugged his shoulders. “If they’re going to break their contract, then screw them. If someone kills the guy, and doesn’t pay the money for it, well they won’t get the extra bonuses either. They’ll need to pay up to put their subscription in their name, and then they can start paying for the subscription.”

Iromin had no idea that someone could be so evil for the sake of gold. ‘Adam, have you lost that good heart of yours?’

“Right now, I plan to keep the planned obsolescence. I’ll make weapons with charges which will eventually run out, and then once that happens, maybe the weapon becomes just a normal weapon, or if it’s Basic Enhanced, just a Basic weapon. That way the Iyr won’t be in danger if the weapons are used against them.”

“You have thought that much ahead?”

Adam laughed. “Of course! All I do is think, Chief.” Adam continued to chuckle, sipping more of his juice. “You know, this reminds me about a story in my world. It’s a made up story, but often times we like to read these made up stories. Anyway, there’s this guy, right? Give him enough time to prepare, and he can beat anyone, even beings that are as strong as the Divine. He’s just that smart.”

Iromin remained silent, wondering what Adam was getting at.

“Now, the difference between him and I is, I have cheats, but he’s still smart enough to kill me, given enough prep time.” Adam laughed, patting his leg. “So even if I seem dangerous, don’t worry. I’m only a Half Elf, and I’m sure that the Iyr, what with all its secrets, could easily kill me.” Adam stared into the Chief’s eyes, wondering if he understood what Adam had gotten at.

Iromin slowly bowed his head, realising that it wasn’t he who was the figure that could even kill the Gods given enough time. “I will bring this matter up to the Great Elders.”

Adam smiled. “Chief?”

“Yes?”

“Why didn’t you come and say hello to my precious babies on their birthday?” Adam asked.

“I cannot leave my duties so easily.”

“If you’re planning on killing their daddy, you should at least do that much. You should be like me, Chief, a good man with a good heart!”

Iromin remained silent for a long moment, before bowing his head. “Adam?”

“Yes?”

Iromin wondered what he should say. “The tides of war are changing, and soon, Aldland will lose.”

“Even with the Iyr’s help?”

“The Iyrmen had remained as a defensive force. They shall soon return, however, as the King will be forced into a peace. If the King does not wish for peace, then we will send the Iyrmen tot he capital, where they will defend it to keep our promise.”

“So he might still want to keep fighting the war even if he loses?”

“It is unlikely, since the King will want to press his claims to the islands he has won, and will be unable to do so if he cannot access the strait. The strait will allow his various ships to access the islands. He has access to them now, but only Duke Lionheart is able to send his ships. If the King allows the Duke to act first, the Duke may be able to gain more influence.”

“Politics.”

“Yes.”

“I spoke to Jarot recently, and he seemed fine,” Adam said. “I swear, if he dies, I’ll bully him. He can’t go dying without saying happy birthday to his greatchildren.”

“Perhaps we should kill you after all?”

“You’re just joking, right, Chief?”

“…”

“Right?”

“…”

“Alright, fine, don’t reply,” Adam grumbled. “I do have a request, though.”

“What is it?”

Be careful of subscriptions!

I wonder what the request is.