Chapter 191: Killing is Easy
"I love David..." She said while staring at nothing. Sera looked at her in confusion.
"Well... Can't say I expected this change of subject..." They both chuckled at her comment, but there was no real humor in it.
In the past few days Sera did notice that Cassandra spent a lot of time with David, but she didn't think it was any reason like this. She also didn't care the slightest, but if this would cause Cassandra to not have her full attention on a fight, then she had to solve this quickly.
"I don't know where you are going with this, or why you revealed this information to me, but you have to forget it for now. Tomorrow, after the battle, you can do whatever you want, but for now focus only on the fight that's about to come... This plan we made relies on you the most!"
Sera made her voice as kind as possible. It wouldn't have done any good, if she agitated Cassandra right before the big event... And she didn't lie when she said that their victory depended on her.
"That's an awful lot of responsibility to place on someone who haven't even killed yet!" She laughed to herself, while her eyes glistened. There was no joy in her laughter, only self-deprecation and sadness.
Sera looked at her for a few minutes trying to find the right words, but she realized that the only thing she could say was the truth.
"Can I tell you something that only a handful of people know?" Cassandra was absorbed in her brooding, but hearing that her ears instantly perked up. She loved gossip and secrets.
"Two years and about a month ago, I lost all of my memories... Well, lost isn't exactly the right word. It got stolen... with part of my soul..." Her voice returned to its usual hollowness, which only made the story sound more depressing.
Cassandra's expression got angry, her previous melancholy got replaced by outrage on Sera's behalf.
"Who stole it? Can we get it back?" What she said brought a small smile to Sera's face. She had no idea when they became a 'We', but it always felt nice when someone offered to help her with this personal crusade.
"That's dangerous for you to know, maybe after the siege we can talk about it... For now let's get back to the important part..." Cassandra nodded, while Sera took a deep breath.
"Two years ago I appeared in this world with not the slightest clue who I was... Yes I remembered how to fight, but that didn't equate to actual fighting experience. The first kill I remember was against an ascended that thought he can take me out with ease... He died with one quick cut right through his chest..."
Cassandra listened to the story with great interest, deeply invested.
"It was easy... In the midst of battle you can't think of stuff like morality, you either kill or die, no in-between. Hesitation leads to death!... Tomorrow you will go on the field of battle, leading an army of hundred thousand men and women, you will kill and not think of the consequences while fighting..."
"If you see one of us die, you turn away and avenge us. Mourning can only be done if you stay alive, and if you know you can't survive, you make sure to take as many enemies with you before the inevitable end!" Her voice became very animated, but when she reached the next part it turned solemn.
"The hard part won't be the fighting... After the battle, don't be alone... It hurts more if you are alone..." Cassandra didn't quite understand what she referred to, and since she was a curious person, she asked without reservation.
"What will hurt? You mean if I get injured?" Sera looked at her, and chuckled a bit. The sound contained so much hidden pain inside, it nearly made Cassandra cry...
How did she never notice this? The broken woman, hiding under the facade of a great leader... This person sitting in front of her wasn't anyone worth following, she should be instead worshipped since only a god could bear that much sadness!
"Injured? Maybe you will get a few scars, but that's not what I'm talking about... As I said, killing while you don't have a choice is fine, but the feeling will catch up... After the combat, when you will walk between the corpses of both friend and foe, you will see which one's died by your hand..."
"I saw it in many soldiers. They think of this war against the United Front as if they are horrible enemies, but they are the same as us... People. And most only see that after they look at the fields of dead bodies. When they lay on the ground, there is no difference between them..."
Sera stared at her own hands, they felt moist and for a moment she didn't know if it was just sweat, or some poor bastard's blood whom she was forced to kill in order to survive...
"Look at these hands... They seem clean don't they?..." Asked Sera without looking at Cassandra. "Yes they are... Why are you asking?" She answered while having an ominous feeling, which only increased as Sera laughed with a hint of insanity.
"Of course they seem like that to you, but what if I told you they weren't... These hands have killed thousand directly and millions indirectly... People say that taking a single life will cost a part of your soul... How much more do I have to kill before my soul is fully consumed?"
She stayed silent after that, just staring at her hands, seeing the phantom blood all over them. The buzzing inside her mind increased greatly, it was actually starting to hurt, but she showed no sign of her inner suffering.
Suddenly a cool hand held onto her blood covered ones...
"I think that until you are willing to ask yourself that question, you still have enough... When other people have to remind you, that's when you start to go too far!"
Slowly she looked into Cassandra's eyes, they were so kind and warm. Sera felt the wet streaks on her face, she haven't even noticed that at some point she started crying.
"You are correct, but listen to my advice... After everything is taken care of, spend every possible moment with others, even when you try to go to sleep!" The atmosphere took a very different direction as Cassandra looked away with a blush.
"What... What do you mean?... You suggest I sleep with someone?... Is that supposed to be a joke?" Her voice strangely enough actually sounded hurt, but Sera had no idea why.
"Not at all! I always have sex after battle, but only after I drank enough liquor to forget about the horrors of war!" She tried to grin, but she just couldn't.
"Is there even enough alcohol for that?" Asked Cassandra with a concerned tone.
Sera thought at first that she was concerned about herself, but as she stared into her eyes the same tenderness came back... She seemed to genuinely care about Sera, which caused a small ache to appear in her broken soul. There were very few people who really gave a fuck about her without the strange worshipping... It was an amazing feeling.
"There isn't, but I sure as hell try. It helps with the nightmares, and the sex helps going to sleep!" She said while pretending to laugh. It didn't fool Cassandra, but she took the hint about subject change.
"You must have very boring sex partners if they make you fall asleep!" They both chuckled a bit, it felt forced.
"Oh really? And what kind of partner did you have, if they are so good?" After that Cassandra looked away with a large blush on her face. She mumbled something under her breath, which Sera didn't hear.
"What was that? I didn't catch it." Cassandra groaned with annoyance.
"I-I haven't..." She said in a whisper, but Sera was still confused.
"You haven't what?" Suddenly Cassandra's eyes snapped at her, and she shouted with irritation. "I never had sex, okay?"
After that the room turned silent. Sera stared at Cassandra with mouth agape, while she was looking in a different direction, trying to hide her embarrassment.
"But... Isn't your title Succubus Princess?... I thought..." She trailed of as suddenly Cassandra snapped at her again.
"What? That I'm a whore? You know just because I evolved using mostly succubus demons doesn't mean I inherited their sex drive! They are one of the most powerful illusionist species, but everyone only remembers them as the bitch race!" If Sera's mouth could hang lower, it would be already touching the floor.
This seemed to be quite a sore subject to her, which Sera made sure to exploit as much as she could... It was simply too entertaining to see Cassandra's expression constantly jump from annoyed to abashed!
"But then why are you wearing those slutty clothes?" Cassandra's eyes widened.
"What do you mean 'Slutty Clothes'? You know that most women wear these kinds of outfits in the capitol! This is called fashion, but nobody in this backwater knows anything about it!... Why are you laughing?!"
Sera was rolling on the table from laughter. She would've never thought that dressing like a whore was a fashion choice. It took her a flat minute to calm down, all the while Cassandra stared at her without amusement.
"Sorry... Sorry... It's just so ironic. You as a virgin getting the title of the most sexually active race in the history of the universe..." She laughed a while longer, and in the end a small smile creeped on Cassandra's face as well.
After that they only chatted a bit longer before Sera said... "Anyway, I think we should head to bed... I have to wake up in a few hours, and it would be nice to spend some time sleeping before that..."
Cassandra sighed a bit and nodded. They both stood up and went out of the headquarters, there they said goodbye and each went to their own place.
The night was only beginning, but Sera would have to move out before it ended.
The camp seemed awfully silent as she walked towards her house. There was no laughter, no music, no cheering... Only the somber reality of the situation.
Today people would spend their time mentally preparing... Tomorrow, the siege will begin!